O my gawd ! What a show ! What a high !

Its Monday. The Olympics are only into their third day of competition - excluding the footy which, for some strange reason, kicked off earlier - and yet already it feels as if Ive been going for weeks in the sunshine. Being only a bloke, I can only guess that multiple orgasms must be something like this. Its an impossible task to capture the whole experience, but Ill give it a quick shot (teehee).

Now Im not normally into Olympic Opening Ceremonies. In fact Im not a ceremony sort of a guy at all. But I can honestly say that, being out at the Olympic Stadium to watch this one live, it was utterly incredible. An experience that will probably never be topped  unless of course I should ever get to witness NUFC win something important. But more of the Opening Ceremony and subsequent sportsfest in a while, as the festivities actually started in earnest on Thursday night 

Thursday I left work early and dashed home, just in time to watch the torch relay come past the end of our street. Quite amazing to see everyone so excited, especially the bairns who had obviously been extremely busy at school making cardboard replicas. At least I can only assume that was what the battered tubular things were, that many were smashing each other over the head with. Its hard to explain the whole torch attraction really, but it seems to have touched a collective chord over here like the Di-Dodi tragedy did in the UK, albeit for very different reasons. In just 100 days it has passed right around this huge continent, travelling within one hours drive of more than 90% of the population. And I'll wager that the majority of the population turned out to watch too.

Anyway, after the torch cavalcade had come and gone in a flash, it was a quick stroll into the city, picked up a dozen beers, then settled down in one of the parks with friends to watch the live bands and entertainment. Plenty of excellent vibe, dancing, and yet more beers, before everything strated turning a little hazy. But I can assure you, dear readers, that I did manage to wake up the next day in my own bed, so someone mustve been looking out for me.

And so to Friday and the Opening Ceremony. Managed to slide off work and travel to the Homebush site some three hours early to soak up the atmosphere  as well of course as the complimentary wine and cheese platter that was forced upon me ! We took our seats, and really excellent they were too, midway up one of the grandstands with the staging to our left. Looking down into the arena just blew me away. They had covered over the whole surface and basically transformed it into the Australian Outback, complete with every hue of red, ochre, sandy brown, black etc. The hour and a half leading up to going live at 7 pm absolutely flew by. The pre-entertainment was pleasantly low-key. Maybe other major sporting venues - including St. James Park - should re-learn the value of letting an atmosphere build naturally, rather than having Queen or Tina Turner assault your ears ?

The minutes raced by as they announced just 20 minutes to go, then 10, 5 and 2. It felt like standing, gawping, on a comet as it hurtles at increasing pace towards the unknown. Then, all of a sudden, a countdown erupted from the crowd. Forget the Millennium New Years Eve celebrations on Sydney Harbour a few months ago. This was huge, this was an event of truly huge proportions, magnified greatly by the fact that nobody knew what to expect.

Before the word "One" could begin to echo around the 110,000 seater stadium, a single stockhorse and jackaroo rider, the Man from Snowy River - if you know him - came absolutely bulleting out into the arena. Cue a split-second lull, as minds registered that the seven years of preparation and hassles were all over, then the most almighty and completely spontaneous roar Ive ever heard in my life rolled down the stands. I never expect to hear another sound like it for the rest of my life - unless of course I should ever witness the final whistle when NUFC finally wins something of note. Think extra time versus Spurs in the Great Stand at Old Trafford, but amplified and extended for several hours. It sends cold shivers along my spine every time I remember it.

I couldnt begin to capture the magic of the rest of the ceremony. I guess either you werent interested in seeing it, or did watch and are already blown away. Doubtless some of the show wouldnt be understood by people who havent spent a bit of time in the land of Oz, but unanimously people here thought it was a great representation of this unique place and are mighty proud of it. While the whole thing was just fantastic to watch live, a few highlights jump out : a real sense of meaning whilst watching the Aboriginal dancers, set to a pulsing dance beat ; nicely leftfield sections, like Captain Cook and his cronies cycling in on Penny Farthings ; humour in typically irreverent Aussie style, eg. the five Olympic rings, as created by blokes pushing Victa lawnmowers around (bit of an in-joke that one); and, obviously, the climax of Cathy Freeman walking towards the vast, cascading waterfall and lighting the cauldron underwater, which then rose up and - after jamming for a couple of minutes - glided to the top of the stand.

We stuck around at the site, entranced, for a couple of hours afterwards and didnt get home until about 2.30 am. My senses were still so overloaded that I failed to realise for another couple of hours that the Southampton match I was staying up to listen to on the BBC World Service wasnt until the following night !

No rest for the wicked though. Saturday morning it was up in time to head for Bondi to watch some Beach Volleyball. Wor lass had very kindly furnished me with a set of binoculars with which to view the previous evenings festivities, so I thought it only be polite to test them in the daytime as well  and, it just so happened, directly at a bevy of long-legged and tight-butted Brazilian, Cuban, American and Australian female players, complete with tiny bikinis. Now, despite the tightness of said garments, its really quite fascinating how often sand managed to sneak under the elastic and need clearing out. Well I was fascinated anyway ! Im sure wor lass younger sister, sent along as my chaperone, mustve thought me extremely long-sighted from the amount of time I was glued to the lenses ! Just dont ask me who won what matches though  they were all winners in my eyes ;o)

Saturday night, and it was out for farewell meal and drinks for aforementioned sister, whose holiday had come to an end. And in the (extremely noisy) pub we got to see Thorpedo smash the 400 metre freestyle world record, then score his second gold medal in a mind-blowingly astonishing finish to the 4x100 metre relay. Dont say I didnt warn you about this particular 17 year old superstar ! You just had to feel for the poor old Yanks didnt you, knocked off their perch for the first time in nearly 30 years. Not.

Sunday morning. Another whole four hours of REM sleep. Another heed feeling as though a pig had sh#t in it during the night. Another event to get up early for. This time it was down to the harbour quick sharp to secure a decent spot for the Mens Triathlon. I watched the swim leg from one of the giant screens - no report of any shark attacks, but then again theyre hardly going to allow bad news to filter out and ruin the Games are they ? Theres probably still some old woman deep in the heart of Kazakhstan awaiting a phone call from her beloved son to say how he went in the race 

By the skin of my teeth I made it across the road before it was closed down to let the cycling come past, and took up a good vantage point for the cycling and road racing. Fortunately, I was able to keep tabs on how the race as a whole was unfolding as there was a wrinkly old dear next to me who had brought her trannie with her. What with the noise of the crowd, much of the time I was hunched over her to hear properly. She didnt appear to mind too much, though I was a tad taken aback when she thrust her phone number into my hand at the end 

As for the race, if you didnt catch its inaugural appearance at the Games, the expected challenge from three Aussies and the Brit Simon Lessing surprisingly failed to materialise. Quite amazing though, after almost two hours of gruelling racing, that it should come down to a sprint to the death in the last 200 metres. The Canadian Whitfield sprinted, the German Vuckovic died, and that was about that. It was good though to see the latter still running ecstatically to the finish line after being passed. Don't you just hate seeing athletes miserable as sin after theyve end up only the second best in the whole world ?

Other memorable moments so far ? One or two of the British womens hockey team spitting the dummy and refusing to shake hands with their Aussie opponents after narrowly losing 2-1, when one umpire overruled another who was about to re-award an injury time penalty corner to GB. Good to see sportswomanship alive and kicking then ! Also, Cold War-style utterings from Romanian officials about the dire consequences that would result from their weightlifters being booted out of the Games after a third positive drug test. Apparently one of them is going on a hunger strike unless he is allowed to compete. Rumour has it he will refuse to eat or drink a thing, except of course those little coloured capsules his coach gives him every morning.

Quote of the day, from one of the spectators at the triathlon : "Who gives a stuff about the falling dollar when you have Thorpey and a joint on a day like this ?"

These next few days Ill be occasionally at work, rushing home early to catch up on the action, but also spending a couple of days in the sun at one of the live sites in town, watching it all unfold on the big screen. On your behalf of course. Then, next weekend, its Tennis on the Saturday and two sessions of Athletics and some Hockey on the Sunday. Sigh.

This is your Sydney correspondent signing off.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Answers

Loony - the opening ceremony was `magical` - the best of it`s kind that I`ve ever seen. It must have been an experience of a lifetime for you. Pleased you`re enjoying it all so much - you sound on a real high!(:o)

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Enjoyed that, Loony. It must have been a bit nerve racking when that slide thing looked like it had stuck.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Loony, please read the instructions; you're supposed to smoke the joints and swallow the pills (I think?), great reports, keep 'em up!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Brilliant Loony,

Anyone know where I can get some pictures of the Womens Beach Volleyballers from?

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Well the Romanian weight lifting team fails 3 drug tests. As per the Olympics (tm) rules the whole weight lifting team is suspended and must be sent home.

The International Weightlifting Federation imposes a US$ 50,000 fine and they are allowed to stay.

And they say it isn't sport!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

For those of you baffled by Neighbours, Home and Away and all the other Aussie soaps and who sit and listen to the Aussie commentaries learn some of the language, go to

www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

Anyone who can make this link "live" is welcome to claim it for themselves. Smart barstards!!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Wonderful report! I'm so thrilled for you actually getting to experience so much! Keep the reports coming! I've had the coverage on tv most of the weekend and have been dying at all the scenic shots (Sydney and the Blue Mountains seem to be the most common ones). This has to be doing a world of good for tourism down there as it's going to have lots of people wanting to visit. I know it's making me long to go again. Someday! :-)

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Great stuff - keep the reports coming.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

LT, any sign of / communication with, one Tynedale Man?

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000