Here's a few of the pics that I got at that NYC flea market. Paul the hotdog one is A, but feel free to caption all of them (I know you're bored.)

HoochaGrlz

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

Answers

A: Flashback to more barbaric times: the cannibal housewives of Charlotte, NC, devour one of their number, following a dispute about hedges.

B: Jack and Ted pose in anticipation of the first Bay Area Transvestites' Yachting Regatta.

C: Pigeon scientists test-drive the long-awaited human taxi.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

Isn't "A" a scene from "Reefer Madness"?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

A. "Hey! This shit works if you rub it on your gums, too!

B. "Oh, Look, Myrtle! That poor man can't afford clothes...just a raincoat!"

B. "I got $5 bucks that says he won't jump."

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

A. Verna Mae, Mary Kay saleslady, watches in horror as the Gump sisters eat everything in her display case.
*gnarf!* *cram!* *stuff* *chew chew chew* *gulp*
"Mmmm, Sassy Peachy Pinch Mah Cheeks Rouge tastes jest lahk chicken! Thanks!"
"Whut have you gals done?! Ah will nevah git my pank Caddy Now!" wailed Verna Mae.

B. ("...a three hour tour, a three hour tour.") Cap'n Izzard explains to Doreen that Real Sailors carry purses. ;)

C. The funding for public arts has gone waaaaaaay down in recent years. Back in my day, you could get a nice naked Greek on a pedestal for a couple grand. Now you have to settle for a pair of secondhand Duane Hanson sculptures...

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

touche!

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2000

You guys are funny! Here's mine.

A: "Housewives worldwide rejoice as they learn of a new product that just may be the solution to the crushing boredom and depressing ennui they suffer every day of their mundane lives: edible Tupperware."

B: "Jack Dawson forgotten as eighty-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater finds love with a female Elvis impersonator in the wacky Farrelly brothers' 'Titanic 2: That Old Sinking Feeling'".

C: "And these are the kids! They're so sweet. 'Course, they haven't quite been themselves since we visited that voodoo priestess to cure them of headlice but our food bills have just been slashed plum in half!"

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2000

Edible Tupperware! *bwa ha!!!*

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2000

A: "Monsignor, please accept this humble token of respect from my poor, pork-processing people."

B: "You distract the captain,Myrna, while I slip this cool lifesaving ring underneath my sweater. Won't the kids at the rec center just die when they see it?"

C: "Here's where Hector and I were learning how to do 'Pigeon Launching.' You put the pigeon in your hand, wait till he settles down, and then, blam, you slam him into the nearest historical monument."

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

Okay, mine are lame but I thought that, as the forum hostess, I should give it a shot.

A. "No WAY this is tofu!"
B. "What did I tell you, Mildred? The sailors are absolute sex machines."
C. "For this we spent the IRA on plane fare?" "Shut up and hold your bird."

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

Hey, Nicole. Do us some captions!

Nicole has won captioning contests on the E! site, y'all.

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

I can't believe you remember that, Gwen!

Okay, I'll think about it and do the captions Sunday night. I have to get ready to go to a spur-of-the-moment mini-vacation to Baltimore.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000