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To Whom It May Concern
I just wanted everyone to know that I have initiated a class action lawsuit against the State of California.
I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the LA Times.
In summary, two weeks ago I bought a California Lotto ticket at LAX airport during a FedEx layover. After reviewing my picks last night, I noticed that I punched the wrong numbers ( i.e., 13, 18, 26, 39, 66 and 73); it was truly an honest mistake. The numbers I actually meant to punch were 27, 53, 62, 75, 83 and 97.
Coincidentally, the numbers I meant to pick actually won last weeks Lotto; accordingly, I believe I should be awarded the 86 million dollar Lotto prize (there was no winner). I think all of you who have played Lotto games in the past have made similar mistakes and you therefore understand my situation.
I have also filed a lawsuit against the State of Connecticut.
After thinking about my SAT scores, I feel there is a chance that I may have punched the wrong answers on several questions when I took the exam forty years ago. If I had been treated fairly, I might have grown up to be a Bill Gates. . . or even a Bill Clinton.
The SAT questions were, at times, very misleading and the exam score card was quite confusing.
Thanks for your understanding on this serious matter. And please feel free to join in on the lawsuit.
California's newest Millionaire
-- K. (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 18, 2000
This came in my email this morning.
-- K. (email@example.com), November 18, 2000.
Great idea I'll file in the State of Confusion a.k.a. Florida!
This came in my email :)
This is good!
An Open Letter from Florida to the rest of the country:
OK, here's the deal. We here in Florida have all gotten together and decided to hold the rest of the country hostage with these here election results until you come and take your parents back home with you!
That's right, we're tired of hearing how good it was back home and how beautiful your children are. We can't stand it any longer! And where did they learn to DRIVE?????
We're running out of Depends down here and it's gonna get messy. You want a president...WE want the speed limit over 20 mph..... Is it a deal? George W, you listening? How about you, Mr. Gore? Ya getting this? We need a break!!! And quit sending the Canadians down here, too! We mean it, we're not lettin the results out, we'll stall with lawsuits and claim ballot fraud.
Anything until you come and take the old devils outta here!
REAL Florida Residents For Relief From YOUR Elderly
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 18, 2000.