The EPL highlights show just ended with their announcement of the candidates for goal of the week. Winner will be announced and aired next weekend. The candidates are:

Speed
Quinn(ptuh)
Beckham(well, it was a good goal)
Vote early, vote often...just don't vote for Quinn(ptuh!) Please don't give them any more excuse to show Mackem goals

I just went to their site (8pm EST, Sunday) and it's not yet been updated with this week's candidates. It should be updated soon, I'd think.

YOur Stateside friends thank you! :-)

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2000

Answers

I see that Niall Quim's had a haircut...or something.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

The mackems have got there before us - b*st*rds!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Get voting people!

BTW...when did Quinn join Spurs? ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Here's a link direct to the voting page.

No weird cookies to deal with, just vote, hit the back button and keep on going. Hopefully the big boss won't be around today so I can keep things going. where's Gav? He's good at these things.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Hahaha watch this.....

It's 14.02 and I've just gotten us onto 104 votes.....gimme 20 mins and we'll be on 500 ;)

It's just like magic ;)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Thought you'd joined the fight when I saw our vote count rising. Keep it going, Gav!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

I was using an automated test tool set to simulate 70 users doing the same thing 10 times....had to give up though cos I got nervous about hitting our proxy with so many of the same requests.....don't want it to get flagged in the logs....

I think we've got a spare proxy set up somewhere that not many people know about....I might try and go through that one....

Howay everyone! divvn't let them get another one over on us!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Crafty! Hope you can find another server. We'll need your help all week as the voting on this will probably go up until Sunday when they tape the next show. C'mon folks! Let's do what the players couldn't! Vote!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Speed 237
Quinn(ptuh) 350

Keep those votes coming in. Not only do we not want to sit through that goal AGAIN...it will be great to force Fox to actually say something nice about us!

Vote early, vote often!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Can't do fancy stuff like Gav but I'm clicking away - up to 244. Takes ages to register each one tho.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Good going, Steph. Every vote counts. Especially as it appears the chimps have put down their bananas and started voting again.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

300! Time for a loo break and grab a coffee!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Yipes...I take a break to drool over greet the (gorgeous!) UPS driver and the chimps are up to 365. Guess I'll have to put down the driver and get back to business!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

What did you do there Gav - it just jumped up 10! Now on 375 each!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Neck and neck and I've set my little script off again....that'll finish them off ;)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

They must be getting worried now ;)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Hahaha found the spare proxy and the username/password of someone who's left.....I'm invincible now ;)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

hee hee! :-)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Nice work Gav! I wish I could have as much fun at work that you do!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

uh oh...Mancs are awake now. Becks up to 104. That's two big teams the mackems have to compete against now. bwahahahaha

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Hmmm, the Mancs seem to have discovered this site (LR are you lurking out there?) Beckham now over 100 votes.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

It's actually more fun doing it manually.....I keep panicking that i'm gonna get into bother by cheating :)) they could figure out it's me very easily if they want to....

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

use the proxy server AND do it manually. Twice the fun, more votes. Hey...think you could install this system in Florida? ;-))

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

It's a very expensive piece of software that I use for simulating user loads on our system to determine whether we can cope with expected load before we go live......cost us 1mill for a one year no limits license...

It'd be dead easy for you to all to set something up that could run unnatended though.....just download a macro recorder and record your actions, then set the macro recorder to replay it constantly....

This one might do the job, although I haven't tried it...

http://www.filewizard.com/index.asp?ID=6454

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Gary's up to 50% of the vote, and some 60 odd ballots from yours truly.

Nothing like mudane and inconsequential competitiveness to get a horrible home defeat out of yer system

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

It's true Bobby....I feel better already....slightly!

Now if only all those mackems would stop e-mailing/texting me abuse...

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Spot on Bobby - this is good therapy!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Believe me, Bobby, those of us who watching the EPL show next Sunday will be grateful :-))

Gav--I'll have to try downloading that macro thingy when I get home. I'm on a cr@p machine at work, but if that thing works I can let it run on my home pc while I'm at work.

And yes, this is all pointless...but it's making me feel much better already!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

53.3% eh, nice one :-)

That makes last Saturday all the more bearable...lose on the pitch, win on a USA football web poll

Feel better already...

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Think I'll add a few more on for luck before I leave...

Remember to check it tomorrow ;)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

700!! :-D

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

7.22 and I've picked up the baton - up to 725, 51.3% I think. Sorry, not sad enough to keep doing this all night. Well I am, but... :@)

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Got us to 750, but the mackems are still voting - next?

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

I'm still here and will be for a few more ours before I take a deserved rest in "Newts". What a great name for a bar. Tee hee. Anyway, just pulled us back to over 50%. Mind you, the postal votes haven't been counted (by the shiney @rsed bean counters??) yet.

No doubt there will be a protest, the votes will be declared null and void and we can ask for a replay of Saturday's macth. Well, that's my strategy - it seems to work pretty wel ovre here.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

good going folks! Once our Oz and Asia-based bbsers wake up they can pick up the baton. I'm sure if put in enough motions and legal briefs and such we can delay things long enough to get our numbers up by Sunday's deadline. Well, it's working over here...or is it? May need to rely on the overseas absentee ballots. ;-)))

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

I put a few in but get bored easily

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

It's pretty even as far as votes per minute go. We're maintaining the gap, but not pulling out enough. Keep it up (as the actress said to the bishop). I have to go to the pub soon.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

I'm sorry - what is the bliddy point of this?

Still it's a most interseting thread if only for Gav's famous quote :-

>>>It's actually more fun doing it manually

Not something I ever expected to hear from Gav. If The Superstition still works Gav then it's clear why we played like Merchant Bankers on Saturday. You should get a grip on yourself man. No - that's not what I mean...

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Got GS back up to 50.8% but they appear to have rumbled me and stopped counting my votes - got 50 in first mind!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Clarky - are you doing it by hand as well? Still working for me - clicking votes that is.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Another "masterstroke" (sp?) from Gav.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

just done my stint in the booth - up to 51% now...

keep it going...

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Just reached 1000 and opened up a 300 point gap. Can I go to the pub now?

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Howay Min - over to you "sunrise" boys.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

buff callaghan and the sunrise kids? ;))

It just jumped 50 again....! up to 54% now...

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Therapy, Jonno. ;-) Also can't bear to be forced to listen to Lionel Bienvenue slobber over the Mackems at our expense(while showing that goal). Again. And we can do something the team couldn't...beat the Mackems

1180 now! Yes!

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

For a minute I thought ITK must be at work - the numbers have gone up significantly, but I guess while I was doing my stint in the pub, Ciara and Min were at it (er, so to speak like). We seem to have seen off the dirt. typical bliddy provincial lot. No supoprt ootside England (so why isn't Becks doing any better? Canny goal and aal that).

Right, now I've seen off everybody in the pub (well, it is past 9:00pm in Hicksville USA), and ensured the count is in good hands, I think I'll just pop doon the bar and see what's gannin' on. You know the sort of thing - which geriatrics are in the place tonight looking for America's greatest medical science to preserve life. If anybody sees YBR on their travles, llet him know about the Mayo Clinic (naa Geordie, nowt to do with salad cream and nurses I'm afraid - sadly).

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Tee hee. I see the Sad Mackem Bastard (singular) is still trying. They say monkeys will do anything for peanuts.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

OK, so who's got gav's script going? I ain't seen acceleartion like that since sh!t left the shovel.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2000

Gary Speed 1400 54.8%

Niall Quinn 893 35%

David Beckham 262 10.3%

Can I go to bed now.......................please??

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Just stuck another 30 on there to take us up to 1531 and 56.2% ;)

Jonno, I don't give a shit how sad it is......I'm not even gonna argue with you that it's not sad cos it is......I'm just not going to let them win that vote.....I'm even considering putting some effort behind that ManUre tosser just to bury the mackem wanker even deeper.....so in case they try to give him a mention in second place!

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

1626!! Excellent! Keep it going! Unfortunately, I probably can't contribute as much today as there's a big meeting on with all the bosses so I have to pretend to be working. :-PPPP

BTW, Gav, tried out that macro last night. Not bad, but you have to keep pressing F12 to run it and can't surf other websites. Still, it was easy enough to keep the laptop next to me and hit F12 after each cycle while I was reading the paper.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

You have to press F12 to run it every time? so every time you have to add one vote you have to hit F12?

Isn't there some code you can just copy and paste multiple times so that it runs for a longer period without interference? ideally some kind of scripting language that allowed looping would solve it....

Ho hum....

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

You're the script guru, Gav. I just run the stuff. I've given up on ever being any kind of programmer as I just don't have the patience for that side of things. Much happier using and abusing the stuff once it's written. ;-)

You can record several hits on the macro. You just hit scroll lock to start, do whatever actions you want recorded, then scroll lock again to stop. F12 then performs whatever you did. So if ya want it to make 10 hits, you have to click vote, then the back button 10x. Crude, but it does save a bit of manual mousing.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

it would seem as if they've stopped taking my votes :((

Oh well I'll just have to do some from home tonight ;) or else find another ip address to send from :)

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Hmph...well I did have that problem from work yesterday afternoon. Just threw on another 20 votes or so from the same machine with no problem. Maybe they've got it set to stop after a few hundred? ;-))

1735 and counting.... :-)

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

SAD MAN ALERT

I estimate for every 2 mackems in the north east there is 3 geordies - thats going on match attendences over time. We have inbetween 55% and 60% majority roughly.

Lets keep the votes in proportion eh! We dont want the gits who maintain the web site making the vote invalid eh?

Out of the North east votes we have about 63% so far! However dont let that slimey mackem close the gap.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

KEEP VOTING

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Added another 50 or so to bring GaryGaryGaryGary Speed up to 2500. Good night from Baltimore. Over to the Asia/Aussie/Kiwi contingent!

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Hang on - the Midwest is still awake - surprisingly. I'll try for 2550.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Right - 'nutha 50 done. Now on 2550. Ower to youse lot on the Pacific rim.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Another 20 or so from me...

spare a thought for those in New South Wales. Not content with watching the shenanigans in the UK, they decide to go one better and flood 2/3rds of the entire state...

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Seems like you were right about it only temporarily blocking the receipt of votes Ciara cos it's just let me stick another 50 on ;)

Up to 1620 but down from the reported 63% last night to 62.5%.....must've been a few late night monkeys at it...

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Well they don't get computer access at the banana factories during the day. ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Howay man Gav. Theylre bliddy catchin' wu.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

No they aren't....stop trying to get me worried ;)

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

B)11)x. Thye've got a picture of the Filthy Mackem now. Yeurk.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Even more reason to keep voting! Obviously the sight of such an ugly mug has upset Screach so's he can't even type properly. ;-))

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Just in from work. Rigged up a phone line in the other room at this appartment. That'll worry the Viet-Cong on Friday morning (yes, even the Viets get Thanksgiving Day off. "Thank you very much for the napaam bombers, thank you very much, thank you very very much".

Just started to cook. Remind me ITK, how much vin au goes with the coq? I have about 0.25 liters left (non-drinking - the proper stuff is on ice). Will that be enough???

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

How the F*** should I know......look at the bliddy lable on the tin you tosser.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Tin? Nah mate. Nowt like that for that super chef, Pink Floyd They caal 'em cans owa here. Hic!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Right there's my pre-tea 50 on ;)

Ciara, when does this vote run to? I only ask cos I'm thinking of running my script to get the number of speed votes up to about 6 billion to make them think the whole human race has voted for speed as well as some aliens ;)

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

ROTFL! Should be interesting to hear what Bienvenue will have to say about that! The vote runs until Sunday, I guess. It's taped after the Sunday match and aired starting about 4pm EST. (different times in different cities, but same show). Keep it going! :-)

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

OK people (those of you who are still reading this thread!).....let's give this thing one last big push before the weekend....we've got today and tomorrow to get us so far in the lead that no late sneak attacks by the apes can get them back in front!

To infinity and beyond!!!

Capt Buzz Lightyear....

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

Personally I think that Cornelius and his mates (planet of the apes) should just piss off and forget about competing with us....mind you, I thought that last Saturday as well! :((

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

Looks like Becks is putting in a late spurt (wondered what the smile was on Posh's chops). I don't suppose it's possible he might take over 2nd spot.............

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

Actually I was half thinking of trying to up Beckham's votes just to put Quyinn (ptuh) into last place. But then those are perfectly good votes that could be going to Speed. Keep voting! I'll post up the result after the show airs on Sunday. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

Of course, you'd know all about perfectly good votes wouldn't you! Keep clickin'. Just divvent let them owd buggas doon in Florida have a go.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

Kirsty Wark here with the votes of the Jock Jury --- Gary Speed.....62.5%, Nail Quim ....27.2%, Rodney Peckham..10.4% that concludes the voting from Caledonia, will do a sweep Sat neet to make sure.

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

I think we're gonna win this one....yet another good job done by one and all....just make certain someone keeps an eye on it over the weekend...

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

If only Big Al had showed the leadership qualities of Ciarra and Gav, it just makes you want to play with them, oops for them. Sat night rest assured I will check Gav, if problems arise will instigate a group page.

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

I'm available for consultation should Bobby feel the lads need an extra kick up the collective @rse. Never say die! Fight on to the end! No rest when ahead! It's not over til the fat ref blows his whistle! Etc, etc....

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

Hey Gav, you still got yer script running? I got our votes up to an even 4000 before I went to bed last night and now see we're up to 4235. Let's go for an even 5000 before the show airs tomorrow!

Then I'll see what I can do about Florida. ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Just flipped another 50 or so votes for GS.

They're outvoting us today, so let's not get too complacent yet. KEEP VOTING!!

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Tried to flip a few more but they've got me blacked out now!

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Well, they're still counting the votes from Minnesota. I'm doing my best but I just don't seem to be able to drum up much support in these parts.

I see LR has given up, and the Monkeys are falling from them trees!

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

The votes just keep rolling in: Gary Speed 4400 62.6% Niall Quinn 1970 28% David Beckham 658 9.4%

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Hey - that was neat! Just changed it to [xmp] (with pointy brackets) and it tales it as an "example" and formats exactly as I typed it! Woohoo - all this publishing I'm doing over here is paying off at last!

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Whey-hey - managed to slip in another 50 after rebooting. 4,450.

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

The mackem lot are a bunch of cyber terrorists. The FBI would be on to them had it not been for Bush rigging the florida vote with the punch machines. Which has taking a lot of their resources.

How can they get a massive 1975, 27.7% of this vote!

Questions must be asked about this votes reliability

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Spot check at 1930hrs gmt , buff patrol reveals the following -: Mr Speed 4509 = 63.1%, Mr Quim 1975 = 27.9% , Mr Beckham has lost his deposit and does not know where to find it. Will check later to ensure that the Makems are not lulling us into a false sense of security.

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

0015 hrs reads speed 4678, quim 2015, epl goal of the week

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Buff - we're up to 4500! Trying for 66.6666666% Gettin' close.

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Errr - so I can't count. I meant 5000.

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Done it! Just before 20:00 Central Time, Gary Speed breaks the 66.7%

Gary Speed 5383 66.7% Niall Quinn 2017 25% David Beckham 670 8.3% <p> Total votes for this question: 8070

Gary Speed the lads'n'lasses from the BBS displayed great presence of mind and agility to fire home for Newcastle while lying flat on the ground.

Oh Gary, Gary Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary Gary Speed.

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

Barstewards seem to have stopped counting at 5528. Tee hee. I think we've broken their foxy 'puter.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

Perhaps they stop the vote at midnight - presumably to start again with this weeks goals.

Expect demands for a recount from Mr. Heed.

"Oh Gary, Gary - Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary Speed....".

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

I am going to #%$#%$%$ court to demand a #$#^%$%! hand recount of all #%%$^^& bananas ballots!

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

I just put Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary Speed up to 5535. Perhaps it was the deadline for overseas absentee ballots? Anyway, good work all!

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

And this week's contenders, are:

Benito Carbone, Nicky Butt (spit), Matt Oakley, And another monkey (spit, spit and more spit).

I won't be voting. It's all rigged I tell you.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

Thanks to the hard work of so many BBSers I hereby certify the final vote as shown on Fox Net earlier this evening as:

Gary Speed 66.7% Tall Oogly Mackem 25% David Beckham 8.3%

Not much comment from Bienvenue...none at all actually. Heh. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

Hahaha well done the lot of ya!

Ciara, is the lack of comment normal or do you think they're slightly miffed at the rigging?

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

Probably cause he gets his opinions from the London press. since we aren't fashionable, then he can't like us. Or more likely his writers. He's not as idiotic as he was the first season, but still doesn't have a full grasp of the English game. He's being helped a bit this year by having Max Bretos alongside. max is a bit loud, but does actually appear to know what he's talking about most of the time.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

Ciara, I almost kicked my TV. Did you see the final results?

Gary Speed, Sunderland 66.7%

Tall Oogly Mackem, Sunderland 25%

David Beckham, Manure 8.3%

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

It'll be interesting to see how many votes they don't get this week!

Now, if I remember to have a slash this time, it should look OK:

Benito Carbone 151 10.3% Nicky Butt 550 37.5% Alex Rae (spit) 245 16.7% Matt Oakley 520 35.5% <p> Total votes for this question: 1466 Close, eh? It'll be interesting to see what happens if Butt wins. It'd be like having Hugh J Anus winning goal of the month on MotD. I could be tempted to make a few votes towards the end of the week if he's not in the lead.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

Oi Dunx. What happened to the rest of the thread? We're now only at 60 (61 including this one) and we were over the ton on Sunday. It's bliddy rigged I tell you!

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

Butt is Linonel Bienvenue's favorite player because he loves saying the name, so he'll be thrilled if Butt wins. As long as it's not the mackem, don't matter to me this week. ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

Butt is his favorite but he also likes Windass. I'm a Titi Camara man myself.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Yo mR. Sad Statto. This thread seems to be decreasing.. it's down to 54 now!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Is the threads on this question shrinking?

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Hahaha it does seem to be shrinking doesn't it...down to 60 yesterday and 48 today....how very very amusing :))

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Must just indicate the no. of posts in the last 7 days.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

if we carry on, maybe we'll get into negative numbers....

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000