....is shelves for my darkroom. I'm tired of putting stuff on the floor.

A timer for my darkroom. I'm tired of counting, '1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi....' for prints and using the microwave's timer when I soup film. ("Are you cooking something?" "Uhhhhhhh, not exactly.")

A Scumbuster. Part power tool, part cleaning accessory. All miiiiine.

A neg scanner. My darkroom's in the basement, and I, uh, get scared down there.

'Blind Assassin' So I look smart at Parent's council.

What's on your Christmas list? Little Mister wants 'Pop-Up Pirate,' but he already kicks my ass on 'Hungry, Hungry Hippos,' so I dunno....

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Answers

One of those mats that you put in the bath tub that makes bubbles like a hot tub. I told my husband I wanted him to get me one for x- mas, and he told me to eat some of his homemade chili before bathing and then fart in the tub if I want bubbles.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

HA! Nothing like a good fart story.

Since my birthday is so close to Christmas, I'm getting a digital camera. I don't mind combined presents when it's a big ticket item. I also need slippers and I want a crock pot. Today I was at Tuesday Morning with a friend and they had this gardening kit for $15, so I bought and one of the kids can give to me and I'll act suprised! Oh and some perfume too.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

deb, I'm getting a colorhead for my old Beseler 45mx. I would also like a new interior for my van. I've had it with sitting crooked while driving on long trips. Lots of film and paper for my addiction er hobby. And please God, put an end to this stupid fucking pissing contest between the two parties. It's worse than when Elian was here for a visit. James

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

I want clothes, as always. And books on Watergate. And all sorts of other crap- a Tivo, a new stereo.... I'm not asking my parents for anything though since I'm going to be asking them for a car next fall for grad school, so I'm trying to impress them with my unselfishness now.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

I want new pots and pans, and a new mezzaluna, and a gift certificate for Marks & Spencer's food hall so I can spend £6 on a TV dinner and not feel guilty.

Also, makeup and this toothpaste that costs £11 for a travel-sized tube, which is supposed to be wonderful.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Shelley, my birthday is relatively close to Christmas, also. Well, close enough that my relatives and even my wife pull that combination routine on me from time to time. For my birthday this year, I got a digital camcorder, the Canon Optura Pi. Should be fun, but it was expensive, so I bet my wife stiffs me at Christmas. Hey, on second thought... :-)

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

...is for our eight year old son to not get too overwhelmed by the lights, loot and sugar. He loves the holidays and usually makes it through without too large a melt down.

My husband and I really want to be pregnant. I can't think of a better gift than finally graduating from years of infertility treatments. We found out we were pregnant with our son the day before my birthday in '91. Maybe this holdiay season will hold another wonderful surprise?

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Oh, wait, I'm changing my answer: I want Ian to tell me that he wants two kids.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

World Peace.

Psyche! (I just rediscovered that word and I love it) I really want a proper drafting table. But I'll probably get more Vic's Secret crap (shhh, don't tell Mike I called it crap) because Mike has no imagination and just defaults to sex.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Mirth's birthday is Dec. 11, so he gets ripped off, too. Not by me, but his family always screwed him over. I always thought that was mean. Sadly, there will be no Christmas exchange for us this year. We are just too broke. (I hate not working.) We'll get stuff from our parents, sure, and something for Little Mister, but Mirth and I won't be shopping for each other. I guess I'll have to give him sex again. How to gift wrap that?

Yeah, James, I want more paper, too. Where do you teach? I really want to convert my garage to a studio/darkroom so my house doesn't smell like chemicals all the time, but, alas, it is to dream....

We found out I was knocked up with Little Mister on Boxing Day, 1994. That was a kick-ass present.

Jackie, you should be hoping your man tells you he hates that freaking clock and call that a Christmas present.

I changed my mind, too. I now want the bank to call and say, 'We lost your Line of Credit account number, and uh, you don't have to pay it back now. Same with your student loan. Our bad.' Then I could buy presents.

Oh, and an X-Men video.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Mine's Dec. 7 (y'all take note). I never got the combined gifts. I just don't mind if it something that's a lot of money. My husband and I have a hard time buying for each other anyway. If we want something, we usually just buy it. Meaning the little things, like slippers, etc.

Last year I got a mantel clock. It wasn't cheap and I had no problem with it being a combo birthday/xmas/anniversary (which is at the end of Jan.) present.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

What a coincidence, Shelly...so is mine. Pearl Harbor Day! I used get mad when relatives told me as a child they didn't get me much (or anything) because they would make up for it at Christmas. As an adult, it's a no-sweat deal because I really believe b-days and Christmas are mainly for children. I enjoy being the giver rather than being the getter. I really mean that. I would rather not get anything as a present than being stuck with something I don't care for but will wear, use, keep or what ever because I don't wish to hurt the giver.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Oh, and I want the latest Tomb Raider game, "Chronicles."

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

What I want I know I won't get. Enough money to pay off my bills and a new, rather expensive flute. I try to be novel in what I give though. I found this site, www.healthmediaint.com, that markets "infectious awareables". They sell really nice and well designed silk ties, boxes, etc. that are patterns of microscopic pictures of infectious diseases. Last year I gave my best friend, who is a viralogist, Ebola and I gave my brother Gonorrhea (yeah, I'm from the Ozarks). The epidemiologist where my brother works actually figured it out. This year they are all getting CDs called "Revenge on the Telemarketers" by Tom Mabe. I heard a clip on PBS and it was hilarious. He just got tired of telemarketers so would lead them on with outrageous stuff. Like a carpet cleaner called and he asked how quick they could get there because there was blood all over the place. --um, really the CDs are funny.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Hey, my father's birthday was December 7, too. Mine is the 6th, and I didn't get combined presents.

I want new trainers but I can't decide what kind. I want functional ones, but I think I want the purple platformy Shelly ones as well. I am also contemplating Velvet Docs. I want new clothes, too.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

I'm hoping all this bonking will pay off, I'm exhausted... just kidding, we want a baby for Christmas, if it's a boy I'll call him Jesus! Oh and that neg scanner sounds really cool, and that digital camera, and I need a new computer game (any suggestions?)... I'd be happy and grateful for news of an embryo clinging tightly to the walls of my uterus, but failing that...

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

My birthday's Dec 23. My family's good about not combining presents. I do get forgotten by people outside the family - all my co-workers forgot my 40th last year.

What do I want this year? I don't need much. OK, I don't *need* anything. But I would like a nice peridot necklace, to go with my peridot earrings. New clothes are good, too, since I've managed to keep off the 40 pounds I lost last year and I like the way I look now.

What I *really* want is for someone who's not a blood relative to tell me he loves me, and mean it. But that ain't gonna happen, troops. So, clothes and jewelry.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

...is a good pair of day-hikers for the tromp from the parking lot to my office (just long enough to make me cranky and out of breath but not long enough to reap any health benefits or lose weight from the effort)

And an engagement ring. Hope springs eternal.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Hey, Tracey...we love you.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Tracey-- congrats on the weightloss!

What I *really* want is for someone who's not a blood relative to tell me he loves me, and mean it. But that ain't gonna happen, troops.
Wow, you sound just like me. How bout I wish that for you and you return the favour? ;-)

love,K

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

aw, hell.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Thanks, Bubba.

klee, you got a deal.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

See, Mirth got 'combination' presents, but they weren't really combo presents at all. People just said that 'cause they forgot or were ignoring his birthday. 'Yes, son, you got nothing on your birthday, but here, at Christmas, you have a combination xmas/birthday present, enjoy.' and it would be, like, a 12 pack of socks instead of a 6-pack. He's still bitter, and I can't blame him.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Cool, Bubba. I've actually known quite a few people with the same birthday. Sags rule!

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

i reilly would lick brett back i saw him this week end and he would'nt even look at me!!!!!! i was dupresed for days! i also want a gift certifactie to kmart and frnkies fryed fish! i love theat plave~~~~

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Klee and Tracey, I want in on that, "What I *really* want is for someone who's not a blood relative to tell me he loves me, and mean it." too. My daughter's B.D. is Dec. 20. We don't combine her birthday with Christmas. We try really hard to make her birthday special. She gets bummed if we don't do something *on-her-birthday*, so we do. And Jane, I can really empathize. My daughter has to be my all-time best Christmas present. Her middle name is Natasha, which means "Our Lord's Birthday".

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

All I want is a vacation! I want to get out of town but that's not going to happen this year. The year we left the country on vacation was sweet.

I guess I'll settle for an object. I've been forcing Davin to get me useful things in the last few years. My brother always gets me records. Mind you they're always really good records.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

My biggest and most wonderful Christmas present is that my fiance is flying in to spend it with me - this present almost bankrupted us but I am happier than I can say that he's going to be here. I'm having such fun buying presents for him. I even bought him a stocking so I could fill that with treats too. I don't need other presents, really I don't... well... ok, I'd like something fun (already taken care of, I know the fiance is giving me a Nunzilla), a gift certificate for Lancome and/or Clarins because I'm a vain little witch, and I'd like to wake up on Christmas morning and magically be 20 pounds lighter so I won't have to worry that I'm going to cry when I see my wedding pictures. Oh, and if Santa could leave me about 10,000 bux in my stocking, I'd be really grateful...

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

I'll bite. What's a Nunzilla?

If I'm showing my absolute detachment from society by asking this, just know that we are actually getting cable today so pretty soon I'm pretty sure I'll understand what a Pokeyman is and catch "Survivor" in reruns.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Nope, it's not you, it's me, I should have explained. :) It's one of those wind-up toys that has sparks coming out of its mouth, except instead of being a Godzilla or whatnot it's a nun carrying a big crucifix. :)

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

I MUST HAVE ONE!

That sounds awesome, the perfect gift for my boyfriends Super Catholic grandmother. Thanks for the great gift idea!

-- Anonymous, December 01, 2000

You can get the nunzilla and boxing nun at

www.mcphee.com

-- Anonymous, December 01, 2000

I *heart* Archie McPhee. Everyone needs a squeeshy CyberBuddha and a Meneki Neko clock.

-- Anonymous, December 01, 2000