Can just feel it in my water.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Answers

Hmmm - is it cloudy? Better get it checked out by a doctor, Dougal.

If they continue being as spawny as they were against us, and again tonight against the manure A team, they might even win the PL. Yorke sent off: munchkin mishits his penalty but Dick Van Dyke dives the wrong way: 5'5" Arca beats 5'4" Clegg to a header in the penalty area, and DVD flaps at it and misses a header that I might have just about got to: the mackem keeper, Rudolph Revisited, brings down Greening for the most obvious penalty you're ever likely to see - unless you happen to be Mark Halsey that is: manure kids hit the cross bar twice in the last minutes as the mackems try to play it cool. Lucky b'stards!!!

They reckoned there were 47,000 there, but apart from a couple of thousand noisy manurers, I couldn't hear much at all - apart from several renditions about beating some 'scam' 2-1 or something like that. Tossers!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Doog

There's a small matter of a B&W striped team still in with a shout.

Josh

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Oh aye.... I thought we might win it at the beginning of the season but it's always clueless cloggers - Spurs, Leicester etc who win it. It has to be Sunderland's go this year.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

how much are you willing to part with in this bet, dougal?

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Mornin' min. I think you'll find Dougal's legal training has ensured she wasn't offering a bet on the outcome of the football competition known as The Worthington Cup but on the fact that some monkeys have a bet on something irrelevant for a pint of Worthington's Best Bitter.

The later reference to a football match was introduced by other (perhaps) less reliable witnesses (I refer M'lud to one Al K Traz, and someone going by the name of Josh - both of which I would be prepared to swear are not their real names). The linking of these two disjointed facts will surely be disproven by Ms Dougal (who I am told always covers her @rse).

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Do I hear Odds? Will Hanse Cronje get blamed if the barber shop boys win? Will Quinn get pulled up for team and pitch conditions (we're crap and it's muddy)? Did I hear something about Goats screach?

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

I deny it all. Goats? Nowt to do with me - honest. Now, Rick used to be into sheep a few years back. Mebbes he's advanced a bit. But then I have to ask - why did min go to NZ? Baa humbug!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

I'm prepared to put my money where my mouth is: the makems won't win it. there. i've said it. now, let's sort out the amount.

Why did i go to NZ? The number of women to men ratio is higher than london. ; ))

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Tell the truth Min....it's the sheep isn't it ;)

2 very dodgy offsides against ManUre early in the game as well....we're gonna get beaten tonight, just to make those pigs in shit even happier..... :(

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

We've lost one in the last five games, no need to tell you which that one was.

We've only lost one out of our last five away games (West Ham)

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Got it in one Gav. The way things are with us at the moment, we'll get stuffed and the hackkems in some way will be directly responsible for it.

In fact, there's a do on at the sos tonight, and there isn't a ticket left. Picture it. There'll be 40000 hakkems all sitting hunched over with their right hands moving rytnmically in unison. Doing what. ?

Wrong. That's what they'll be doing with their left hands.

The rythmic right hand movement will be 40k hakkems stickin pins in little black and white dolls.

Actually, it might not be as rythmic as I'm implying because most of them don't know left from right.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

sheep? nah...it was you mate...couldn't face aal them trips on the train to SJP and having to run down the train to get away from yer...

; o )

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Strange, neither me, Bobby or Susie seem to recall you running that hard.... ;)

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

like a rabbit, frozen in the headlights of an oncoming truck...

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Screacher, are you going to be able to watch the game in the frozen wastelands of Minnesota?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000