Pet Peeve of the Day:

Tiny toilet stalls with doors that open inward.

-- This is Annoying! (Pet@Peeve.Day), December 03, 2000

Answers

Or how about tiny stalls with broken door handles, and the door is just far enough away so it's difficult to hold closed.

Some goofy cleaning firm has just started putting cans of scent in the urinals. I think they're supposed to smell like stawberries or some sort of fruit, but as I stand there trying not to sneeze, I'm reminded of the heavy odors from the perfumes in '60s head shops.

Maybe that's the point: the less we're there, the less mess we're likely to make.

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), December 04, 2000.

patchuli oil? I luv that stuff....Yankee Candle Company NOW has the candle of the 60's......yummmm.

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), December 04, 2000.

Stall where the toilet paper roll is too tight to roll..... Had to get a shipyard sheetmetal worker to actually rebuild a wall bracket one time to fix that problem.

Or worse, where the little plastic knob prevents you from "rolling it" so only one square at a time is available.

However, with a trusty pocketknife, one can fix problems.......

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 05, 2000.

You should have gone at home.

-- helen (b@c.k), December 05, 2000.

Helen, Helen, you miss the point. By "going" out we save the cost of the paper which we would have to absorb if we went at home. Also there is the cost of the water, and the wear and tear on the septic tank and drain field. AND, you don't have to soil your own personal porcelain appliance.

Nice to hear from you again.

Gene

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), December 05, 2000.

What septic tank and drain field...?

Since we're talking about poop AGAIN, I have a question and don't know where else to ask...

Mike Mule's vet wants a stool specimen. I was thinking if Mike is wormy, maybe we ought to check the people around here too. It sure would be cheaper to have the vet check our poop than to haul it in to the doctor. Can the vet tell it's not mule poop he's checking if I sort of mush it up? Maybe if I fed everyone oatmeal for a week before taking the specimens...?

Gosh, it's good to be home!

-- helen (b@c.k), December 05, 2000.

Hmmmph!

Says she's glad to be home ....

.... but starts tracking poop around the house! And nobody has faxed me my Christmas cookies yet...... Boo hoo. Pout. Sob.

Don't know of any reason the vet couldn't check for internal zoomies in a human poop - but tell him first! The person looking for irregularities HAS to now what is "normal" first, then they can begin "thinking" about irregularities.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 06, 2000.

Robert, I don't think I want to discuss my irregularity with the vet...

-- helen (b@c.k), December 06, 2000.

Helen,

I have thought the same thing about parasites. Our animals get 'em why don't we? I saw a website once that had information on parasites and said that most people have some, but then the site disappeared.

I think taking a tincture of vodka and black walnut extract, or some such concoction is reputed to eliminate intestinal parasites. Perhaps if you asked on TB2k someone would have some information.

Poor Mike, he has had a tough year. Make sure Santy brings him something good for Christmas.

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), December 06, 2000.

Helen,

I just had another idea. (wow, another one!). If you have, or can borrow, a microscope, maybe you could find out how to identify the parasite eggs and do your own testing. I would suspect that somewhere on line there is information about the process. I know it isn't all that technical, since the vet does it in just a few minutes.

I think it involves using a liquid medium to float the eggs up where they can be seen. I think anyone who chews his nails would be well advised to wear gloves.

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), December 06, 2000.

Gene, I was thinking about getting the kids a microscope for Christmas...they don't have to know what's on the slides...I think a tonic of vodka and whatever else you dump in it sounds like just the thing when contemplating internal parasites.

The Cherokee healers have always taught that parasites were the basis for most diseases, including cancers. This notion makes sense regarding the general weakening of the immune system that could occur when bugs are munching on your bod.

-- helen (b@c.k), December 06, 2000.

((((((Helen!!!))))
Where ya been, girl?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), December 06, 2000.

Yay, this is almost like a party.

-- (sis@home.zzz), December 06, 2000.

Kritter, I can't even begin to say what has happened in the last couple of months. Mostly bad things led to really good things. It's good to be back!

-- helen (b@c.k), December 07, 2000.

Well, if you do come up with some information from your search, please share it. If you don't want to post it here, you can send me an email. I really do think we need to consider the possibility of parasites. That might explain my urge to scoot on the carpet.

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), December 10, 2000.

The Shit List Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel the Shit come out but there is no Shit in the toilet. Clean Shit: The kind where you Shit, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Shit: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them. Second Wave Shit: This happens when you're done Shit-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to Shit some more. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead Shit: The kind where you strain so hard to get it out you practically have a stroke. Lincoln-Log Shit: The kind of Shit that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into smaller pieces with the toilet brush. Gassy Shit: It's so noisy everyone within earshot is giggling. All Nighter Shit: The kind of Shit you have in the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks in the bottom of the toilet. Corn Shit: Self-explanatory. Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit Shit: The kind where you want to Shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times. Spinal Tap Shit: That's where it hurts so badly coming out that you'd swear it was leaving you sideways. Wet Cheeks Shit: (The Power Dump) The kind that comes out so fast and hard your butt-cheeks get splashed with water. Boomerang Shit: The kind that you flush down the toilet but then one or two Shits come back. Soupie Shit: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out and splashes all over the toilet bowl. Hydrochloric Shit: It smells so bad it burns your nose hairs. Upper Class Shit: The kind of Shit that doesn't smell. The Surprise Shit: You aren't even at the toilet because you're sure you're about to fart, but Surprise -- a Shit! The Dangling Shit: The Shit that refuses to drop into the toilet even though you're done Shit-ing it. You just pray that a small shake or bounce will cut it loose.

-- justa (posting @n.old post), December 16, 2000.

I like the stalls to have functioning locks. I use them, not because I'm worried about some guy seeing my pants down, but because I don't want anyone to see my .45 PDW (none of you go out without a Personal Defense Weapon, do you?).

Helen, don't you have better things to do that study poo -- under a microscope, with the assistance of your brood? Somehow I don't see this as a good project for your kids, expecially the younger ones.

I did just give my sister one of those 30X "pocket microscopes" they sell at Radio Shack. Good for her botany classes, and it is a flashlight, too.

"Never sweat at work; never shit at home." ---anonymous worker

-- Hamilton Felix (madison_6@hotmail.com), December 26, 2000.

Join the new Pet Peeve Group, dedicated to allowing members to voice their pet peeves on a regular basis. Pointless, yes. Entertaining, a little. But at least you can get stuff off your chest.

Find out more http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Your_Pet_Peeve/

Join NOW! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Your_Pet_Peeve/join

-- Your_Pet_Peeve Group (petpeeve@myway.com), December 09, 2002.