I'm the eldest of 2 girls (17 years old) , sister is 14 next week. My mum is the yongest of 2 girls; her dad is the youngest of 2. My dad is an only child, his mum is the eldest of 7. Surrounded by this enviroment of only child and second born-in this casem,last born-these type's of birth order being personality/attitude wise of being attention-seeking, nasty, disrespectful, liars, manipulative, impulsive, ignorant to the needs and feelings of others, always wanting their own way etc, etc etc, how do I get my parents to realise, especially my mum, that my sister is a liar, a theef, spoilt, and a comfirmed bully (shows all characteristics of a bully)etc? and how do I survive in this kind of environment?. Because of so many people who I have most interaction with and them being second/last born, I have had no affection showed to me, ever, never have got any of the presents that I have wanted (this 'got what I wanted' stopped at 4 years) but my sister gets everything, I have got 5 chronic physical illnesses most since birth, she has only got one (psycological) and she was born by c-section. She gets everything she wants! She always gets cuddled. I can't even show it even though it's there. Would these mediacl implications along with other factors determine favouritism towards one of the children from the parents (mother mainly) and how will this environment effect my chance/effectiveness of being in a relationship and my future of having children without rejecting the first-born because of what I have experienced and still experiencing? Please help, it's really important.

-- as above (maxinehopper@leggott.ac.uk), December 08, 2000

Answers

I am an only child, but i feel you pain. I was looking up illnesses and psycoligical disorders when i came across a help sign. Well may be i can help. First you must tell your parents how you feel, if this doesnt work, talk to school counselers or some one who may be able to give advice on your situation. Now i am asking you, can you help people. Because if you can then they will also be able to help you. I say you find some one to trust, and talk to them. The most effective advise i can give you is DONT stop caring, about your sister your mother, father, friends, because if you do it is all over. Most important, dont ever feel that no one cares about you, it may take time but you will find that person who cares, or will care.

-- Patrick Rouse (Jinnramo@hotmail.com), July 17, 2001.