Hi I was married less than a year ago. My husband went to work one day and never came home. He is alive and living else where. I haven't heard from him at all. We are both Catholic. Can I get a legal annulment in the courts and still be in God's grace and would I have to then get an annulment from the Church. Please help. We would have been married 1 year on Jan. 8th 2001. Deb

-- Debra J Tembreull (josephjt@up.net), December 17, 2000

Answers

I'm not sure of the term used in civil law. But you can have the marriage disolved in the civil courts. An Annulment in the Church would not need to be requested unless you plan to consider another marriage. If you feel that this marriage was in some way invalid speak with your pastor and start the process. Remember that if the marriage is found to be valid them no new marriage is possible.

-- Br. Rich SFO (repsfo@prodigy.net), December 17, 2000.

"Remember that if the marriage is found to be valid them no new marriage is possible."

After less than a year of marriage, this woman's jerk of a husband not only leaves her, but forces her into enduring life-long celibacy...? And this with the church's blessing?

Let's hope not. If so, it's no wonder people leave.

-- oh well (thereyou@have.it), December 18, 2000.

Dear Debra,
Don't be alarmed by the last two answers you've received in here. One cautions you may not get an annulment. Fine. If you don't, it won't mean the end of your life. It won't blacken your future, ruin your life. If you ARE eligible for the annulment, well; probably your best choice is take it. Better than being unhappily married.

Whichever; you must cope. I don't like the gross expression ''forcing her to live in celibacy, and with the Church's blessing.'' This is language we can do without. Nothing is all that tragic about celibacy, except to hedonists. Nothing is that wonderful about it either; unless it is voluntary.

Get the advice of your pastor. You might also contact your husband. Don't be proud; just find him and ask him if he wants his freedom. It just may be he has problems he wasn't able to tell you about. Maybe not. Be an adult about it, Debra. You can trust in God; His will be done. You'll be happy again in future, wait and see! We'll pray for you.

I wouldn't be quicker to seek guidance about these things in a forum of this kind, than from a Catholic priest. Too many Jerry Springer mentalities get into your private affairs; you shouldn't allow that. Because your situation is serious. May God be with you through this unhappy episode. Have faith! Better times are coming.

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), December 18, 2000.

Hi Debra,

I just wanted to tell you the Lord is with you. I am not the most religious individual one may come across. My husband left me after less than a year of marriage with absolutely no warning and NO explanation other than he does not want to be married. He says he loves me but is not willing to come home and try at all. I hate to say this, but I understand what you are going through. We are not divorced yet. I love him more than anything in the world but know that I deserve better and so do you. The lord will guide you. Listen to him. God Bless you.

Bridgette

-- Bridgette Fousek (jbmhmorales@aol.com), July 31, 2003.