Broke a bone in his hand during the break in of his house. Unable to play due to the discomfort of it. Will it ever end? He'll probably get an infection in it- out for 6 months.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

Answers

Unbeliveable!! No wonder we sold him.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

Broke a bone in his hand during the break in of his house

Broke a bone in the hand during the breaking of someone's face more like it. Mind you I don't blame him for having a go at the scum.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

Broken bone in his hand? Missing a game? Now, if this were a foreign player...

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

Apparently the robber turned up in court with 2 black eyes and a swollen face. Nice work, Dunc!

Bet he's not out as long as Marcia, though. Perhaps they just don'twant to risk turning him loose on a football pitch with a cast on his hand? Can't imagine why. ;-)

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

LOL but Dunc has played in about three games all season - I think even Marcelino has a better record.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

Started 3, on as a sub in 3 and scored 2 goals. We replaced him with Carl Cort for a net spend of 3mil and he has started in 5 and scored 2 goals. Evidently we are quids in here.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

of course, you can guarantee that Cort isn't being paid £40k a week to lie in bed.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

What I find disquieting is that yet another good honest burglar has been assaulted in the course of his duty. There was one shot and killed last year you'll recall. What is this country coming to? Big Dunc, with his criminal record, will have to be sent down for a long time for this one.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

The poor gent that was assaulted by Duncan "the mad axeman" Ferguson will no doubt have used his phone call to get Simplaclaim on the case. I'm pleased he hasn't dragged Newcastle through the mud with his laddish behaviour.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001

There were 2 robbers - one got away the other he held on to until Mr Plod arrived. The lad then spent that night and the next in hospital while his mate either gave himself up or was arrested.

The Police praised Dunc for bravery - I reckon they praised the wrong people.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2001