Life is like a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back - if you smile, it returns the greeting.

Achieving begins with believing.

A dead-end street is a good place to turn around.

Triumph is "umph" added to try.

If shouting can't be heard, try a whisper.

Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.

Perseverance is not one long race, it's many short races, one after another.

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.

Those who do not plan for the future have to live through it anyway.

You can't get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Whatever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might.

Moving the mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock.

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

The way you see people is the way you treat them. And the way you treat them is what they become.

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.

Learning is when you suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.

Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eye off the goal.

We are not born brave. We learn courage, one risk at a time.

Einstein's 3 rules of work: Out of order, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In difficulty, find opportunity.

And finally, this: Looking back, may I be filled with gratitude; looking forward, may I be filled with hope; Looking upward, may I be aware of strength, looking inward, may I find peace.

-- (thesonofdust@yahoo.com), January 11, 2001

Answers

Mr. & Mrs. Potato

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one. A real sweet potato, whom they called 'Yam'.

They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her all about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half baked because she could get MASHED, get a bad name like 'Hot Potato', and then end up with a bunch of little Tater Tots.

She said not to worry, "No Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her!" But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland. And even the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out west because she could be Scalloped! She told them she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Blue Belles or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. & Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent her to Idaho P.U. (Potato University), where the Big Potatoes come from. When she graduates, she'll really be in the Chips. But one day she came home and said, she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset and said she couldn't marry him because he's just a. . . . . .

Are you ready for this??????

Are you sure??

Are you sitting down?

OK! Here it is!!!!!!!

Remember I warned you!

They said, "You can't marry Tom Brokaw because he's just a

COMMON TATER!!!!!

-- (hee@hee.hee), January 11, 2001.

Ooooh GROAN! Heh.

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), January 12, 2001.

Hey, Rob! I like lots of those sayings... some I hadn't heard, and really enjoyed :-) Not even that awful pun could ruin this thread for me...now where are those bricks?? ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 13, 2001.

A husband asks his wife, "You want to try a different position tonight?"

The wife replies, "That's a good idea. Why don't you stand at the sink and do the dishes, and I'll sit on the sofa and fart."

-- (hee@hee.hee), January 24, 2001.