Have you stepped in it ,too-philosophical,I guess

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Ok Anyone else having problems with this medium?

It seems I blab things more, here.I'm really a pretty private person.Really.

And I'll email to someone whom I don't know all that well,all kinds of personal insights.In real life,it takes me years to feel comfortable with a person,enough to confide in,anyway.

And I've been getting in hot water with siblings over some email.Things I could say to them in person probably without problems.

On woman and I,both with sacrastic humor,had a tense moment of misunderstanding.I thought I'd made her mad,turns out she was being funny.

What is the computer geek symbol for scarcasm,anyway? I need to know.Badly.

And,after a couple of posts,some people seem to think they know all about you,and stick you in one of their convenient catagories of like/dislike.

This particualr form of communication seemingly needs refinement. Seems we've lost the ability to express ourselves emotively, with the written word because we've be a verbal civilization for some time now.I love turn-of the-century novels, specifically because they are so flowery. I guess we need more of that,again.

And,because there seems to be the allusion of anonomity,people (me, included) write all sorts of things here concerning politics,religion, your sex life,and your mental state.Things you probably wouldn't discuss too extensively,with your neighbor.I wouldn't, anyway

It's like when I worked a hotline.Because it was anonymous,people would tell you anything.And I do mean anything.We had training specifically to get us use to that,so we wouldn't be shocked.Of course,we were also sworn to confidentially.You know,noone here is.

And, folks, this really isn't all that anonymous.So,how do you feel about all that? Have you encountered communication problems too? Where do we go from here?

Heavy.

Yeah-and we need a philosophical category.Didn't know where to stick this.Didn't see circular file listed,either.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 12, 2001

Answers

Sharon,I know exactly where your comin' from.I lurked for months and you kind of get the drift that things are friendly,and then you post something that you don't consider contraversial,and bam.I had made a joke with someone,and someone else got ugly to defend them,called me some nasty things.I emailed to apologize the person i had joked with and they never was offended.I think the anonymity works both for and against you.These are the people I find I am most like minded to.but they do not know who I am really,or if I have integrity or not.If a person has a difficult time with written language or trouble expressing themselves in can be hard for then to take part in the philosophical stuff anyway.All in all the forum is a great place,nicer than any other place I have been on line.I have had more confidence in my choices re;homesteading decisions since I have been in the forum,nice to have support that way.Thanx for the thread,I didn't know how to say what you did....teri

-- teri (mrs_smurf2000@yahoo.ca), January 12, 2001.

"I love turn-of the-century novels, specifically because they are so flowery. I guess we need more of that,again"

[sharon]

****************************************************

It's going to be interesting to see how internet forums develop in the next say, 5-10 years. Right now, the keyboard is the primary input. But voice recognition software, where people speak and the PC types, is gaining a foothold. And finally, internet telephony is the up-and-coming thing.

But it's all at warp speed. People type faster than they think. It used to be "open mouth, insert foot". Now it's "open mouth, insert mouse". I guess you could say more and more people are suffering from "hoof-and-mouse" disease :) Hurry and post. Hurry and post. And deduct it from my 15 minutes of fame.

I don't think we'll get back to flowery language for every day usage. At least, not until "curling up with a good laptop" becomes part of the American lexicon. And yet, there are those who have taken the time to compose insights and revelations that have been jewels of literary prose. All right here. Which is why I stick around. The diversity of this place is absolutely amazing.

As far as anonomity. YOU BET! People only know me by what they read and infer. Or what I choose to reveal of my personal life. The rest is M-Y-S-T-E-R-Y (bwaaaa-hah-ha-ha-ha). And thats part of the fun.

Well, gosh, I'm rambling. But I would enjoy diving into a philosophy thread. Okay. I'm down to 13 minutes 34 seconds of fame. Later...

(:raig

-- Craig Miller (CMiller@ssd.com), January 12, 2001.


What is the computer geek symbol for scarcasm,anyway? I need to know.Badly.

</sarcasm>

-- William in WI (thetoebes@webtv.net), January 12, 2001.


Sorry, I should explain that better...

First you type the fecetious thing you are saying and then if you are sending an email you type the imaginary html code that I gave above. If you are posting something fecetiously then you cant issue that command because the system will recognize it as a command but be unable to execute anything and not display it so instead you type & lt /sarcasm & gt , only dont put a space between the & and the lt and that will make it appear as a less than symbol like this: < .

Does that make sense?

-- William in WI (thetoebes@webtv.net), January 12, 2001.


I think that "lack of facial expression" adds somewhat to misunderstandings. As was stated before, the cyber media is entirely through keystrokes. With the exception of limited cryptic tags ( :)- laugh, :( - sad :0 - surprise, etc, communication online is without any body language, therefore care must always be taken to ensure the typed statement can convey the intent. This is why subject lines do better when catagorized and cryptic tags in responses help add some body language inflections. Communication often utilizes much more than words. I think we all are getting better here at online communication. If you need another sub classification you can always use the closest one with a "dot" extension example: (Misc . deep thoughts ). Also we all should consider putting the movie type ratings in our subject line catagory tags, so as not to surprise anyone. We are a very diverse group here and those help us all to get along better.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.


I just had this same basic conversation with somebody the other day. The facial expressions that Jay mentioned was brought up. And not having someone laugh or criticize us to our face. We were wondering how many people were playing make believe here. I'm probably too quick to talk about personal things(with the exceptions of 3 or 4things), but that's the way I am. Maybe somebody can learn from them.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.

Yes, stepped in it big time!!! I think it is so fascinating - without the body language feedback, you really think you are saying one thing and someone is hearing something else. You can post something and it is really obvious that 10 people hear something different than the other ones. I can write in my word program, read it over and over, cut-paste-send and still not communicate what I intend to communicate. I sure don't know what the answer is. I know I am in deep, deep doodoo with a lot of people right now, and I really don't have a clue as to "where to go from here".

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.

So many of us have stepped in it so many times, that I think we should start considering leaving our boots at the backdoor. :-) (note smiley face emoticon!)

-- sheepish (WA) (rborgo@gte.net), January 12, 2001.

Sheepish, you haven't stepped in it enough, your nose is still small. :>) That is a friendly funny, hopefully.

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), January 12, 2001.

Something I have found that helps is to write, proofread, proofread, rewrite if neccesary, post, refresh, read in context of post, then post an addendum if it doesn't sound right. One nice thing about this forum, we all kmow we "flub" it once in awhile and understand clairity sometimes suffers. So , if you dont make your point clearly, "sharpen the needle" and stich the thread again. :)

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.


I really DO try to proofread and pay attention before I send, but I've sent stuff out b/c of some emotional tear I was on...or didn't stop to imagine how I would feel if I were on the "receiving" end.

If you think I've stepped in it on this forum, you would be amazed at the stupid misfires I used to do when I first got email in the corporate world. I almost got fired! On email, rule number one is to only post what you would have anyone else read or hear. In other words, don't bad-mouth your boss b/c someone will undoubtedly forward it to her. I learned that one first hand. It pains me to remember that one.

-- sheepish (rborgo@gte.net), January 12, 2001.


I find it a shame to HAVE to put indicators to make sure you don't p*$$ off anyone, "just in case", wouldn't want to offend unintentionally... I almost seems a PC problem these days to actually have an opinion and voice it. I'd like freedom from preach to go along with my freedom of speech. %>\

-- Willy Allen (willyallen2@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.

I always check the bottom of my boots and scrape them off on the edge of the porch, except in summer, that makes the flies come to the porch. It really took me TOO long to figure out why flies were attracted to my front porch.

And I love the stories written like that, I love to read when I have time. You can see so much more in your mind while you are reading.

I'll try it. I'm not really paying attention to the silly Disney movie that's on while I visit the forum and see what my good friends are up too tonight, it's a bit chilly, I just pushed my bangs away from my eyes. My little kitten is snuggled inside my vest like a baby kangaroo, I can't sit at my desk anymore without him climbing up and napping. Steve and 2 dogs are sound asleep on the worn and sagging pit group sofa. I hear dogs barking outside in the cold night air, probably from the Beagle Club across the moonlight pasture. Poor bunny.

No, I tell myself, deep again in my thoughts, we are not anonymous, we are as real as we always have been. The only difference is, last year, as I recall, I didn't have all these friends, this year I do, and I look forward to comming here with my coffee cup to visit early in the morning and late at night. And lots of times I giggle outloud even if the only one who hears me is me.

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@msn.com), January 12, 2001.


Oh Cindy.That was absolutely wonderful.I swear,I can see you.Hi.I'm at the window,waving.

And Craig-Hoof n mouse disease.Cool.Contagious,by any chance?

Here's what I thought would have represented ~ sarcasm ~ you know,like a twisted smile.

Thanks all.You are a great bunch.Talk to you again.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 12, 2001.


Willy: I love it! Freedom of speach and freedom from preach! Very good.

Sharon: Yeah, I think a philosophy thread would be fun.One of the reasons I get involved in the religious threads is because I enjoy the thinky things.

-- john leake (natlivent@pcpros.net), January 12, 2001.



Misunderstandings and wrong assumptions are part and parcel of the whole internet forums/bulletin boards/chat/email phenomenon. I've seen it in every single medium where I have participated. One problem is that readers frequently don't give the benefit of doubt to the poster nor stop to think if there is some way, other than hostilely, to take a statement [frown]. I've been guilty of it myself, though I keep trying not to fall into that [sigh]. Another problem is misreading. Sometimes you get all agitated over what you think you read and find out that wasn't even what was stated [wry grimace]. Sometimes misreading is more entertaining than the actual post [grin]. Sometimes it's downright HILARIOUS [BIG GRIN]!

Throughout here, I've been putting expressions in brackets to illustrate how one can enhance the points one is trying to make. There are many other expressions you can use -- snicker, smirk, giggle, chuckle, etc., plus all those descriptives -- BAM! WHAP! YUCK! ICKY! Or phrases such as [running away now before the 2x4's come out!] Well, you get the idea.

Of course, there will be times when you won't succeed, such as if you are being phony, i.e. "You are such a jerk! [loving concern] Or if your reader is determined to be hostile to you and chooses to ignore your indicators. Still, such things tend to help, even if they are a pain to use, and occasionally, read! :-/

-- Joy Froelich (dragnfly@chorus.net), January 12, 2001.


Sharon, you are on a roll tonight. I just posted a very personal story elsewhere here. Blab? yeah I guess. I'm not private about that subject tho. I'm very outspoken about it. Heck, anyone from my hometown coulda told you about it anyway. So the anonymous thing doesn't matter.

You may be right about the old time writting. This is a strange medium. Subtlety & nuance are very difficult to convey. Sometimes it's even difficult to convey what seems so obvious to me. Yes, and sarcasm, one of my favorites! Someone mentioned the lack of physical clues for feedback. When you can't look at someones face or even hear their voice it changes everything. I get myself in trouble when I can see & hear others! Of course, there may be a good reason for that, now that I think about it. John

-- John in S. IN (jsmengel@hotmail.com), January 12, 2001.


Cindy in Ky. That was beautiful. Encore! Encore!

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), January 13, 2001.

I know I've made opions of people here, too. Sometimes I change them, sometimes I don't. I have made a few friends (one close) that I would never have had if not for this forum. And I look forward to reading it everyday.

I guess I tell things I wouldn't tell others, because of no other reason then no one near understands all I'm about with the animals and such. We're a real diverse group.

-- Dee (gdgtur@goes.com), January 13, 2001.


I feel that sometime these threads are rather like a confessional - things sometimes have to get off of my chest, and I don't have to look y'all in the face the next day. Confession is good for the soul, or so say the Catholics. Besides, if y'all quit confessing, well, whatever will I have to keep me entertained! :+ (puckered kiss)

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), January 13, 2001.

Sharon, I have a sense of humor that can be so dry even my own family doesn't know when I'm kidding and that is part of my warped sense of humor, people thinking I'm serious or just plain weird.

Growing up in small rural counties taught me never to say or do anything I didn't want my whole world, or my mother, to know about because everyone would know the next day. We had three ways of communication, telephone, telegraph and telePat. (Pat was a prolific gossip) We still had party lines way back when. There is no anonyminity in my life on or offline.

Some people like me and some people hate me and I can't choose who is who so I just go on being myself no matter where I am at. Its God's opinion that matters and that is good enough for me.

Sharon, I enjoy your posts and you have a very free sense of humor. Just keep being yourself and Keep coming back it works

-- Laura (gsend@hotmail.com), January 16, 2001.


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