Making a Will, and leaving money to disabled "child" (Need advice)

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Dh & I are in the process of making a will. I am DENSE when it comes to finances, and dh doesn't have time to research this. We're a blended family, his 3 adult sons, my 3 daughters (one still a minor). One of dh's son's, age 34, is schizophrenic. He appears "normal" but has confused thinking processes and is TOTALLY incapable of handling money - has to have someone (us) take care of his expenses and dole out spending money literally a day at a time. His "friends", take advantage of him also, particularly his girlfriend and her family, who take every penny they can get from him. We don't have a lot of money that will be left to the kids, but depending on our own retirement needs, and how soon we leave this earth, it could amount to perhaps $25-40,000 per kid. The 5 other children are no problem, but HOW do we go about setting up some sort of trust fund to dole out money in small amounts (at least once a month) to this disabled son, without it being eaten up by adminstrative costs, etc.? Dh isn't comfortable with putting either of his other sons in charge of this (not entirely trustworthy). He would trust either of my older daughters, but does not want them to have the burden, as the schizophrenic son can be and often is extremely unpleasant to deal with, and could possibly become violent. Dh would like to find some means to dole out money to this kid that would be reasonably cheap, and not take forever to set up. (He wants to get this Will finished!) Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 12, 2001

Answers

See a lawyer. You have no other choice. See a lawyer.

-- Joe (jcole@apha.com), January 12, 2001.

See a lawyer. But you should be able to appoint a conservator who would then be responsible for managing the trust and any assets you leave him. You might even be able to appoint the law firm you choose to use to draw everything up.

-- Eric in TN (eric_m_stone@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.

I agree that an attorney needs consulted.

However, before I visited one, I would check with a bank to see if perhaps some sort of trust account could be set up that would deposit a small amount of funds into an account each day, to be accessed via an ATM. No one would have to deal with the son on a regular basis, and his friends couldn't take a big advantage of him since limited funds would be available at one time.

Good question.

-- Notforprint (Not@thekeyboard.com), January 12, 2001.


You need to visit a lawyer who deals with estate planning and trusts. You could look at a trust created in under your Will that becomes effective upon your death. A trustee would be appointed to deal with the financial part. OR you could set up a guardianship and conservatorship now. A guardianship is different from a conservatorship in that a conservatorship appoints a person to handle the financial business of the person. A Guardianship appoints a person to handle the physical needs of the person. Either way, to protect your son, you need to set some legal plan up and use the lawyer to do so that it is legal in your state. Good luck. Live long.

-- JoAnn (jonehls@excite.com), January 12, 2001.

Lenette, take the time NOW to educate yourself about your family finances before you have it thrust upon you. The odds are you will outlive your husband by 5 years or more and now is the time to prepare.

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), January 13, 2001.


Thank you all for your responses. And I did need the reminder to become a bit better educated about family finances, altho I'm not totally in the dark. I should have worded my comment a bit better. In my previous marriage, I handled all the finances (tho there wasn't a lot to handle, lol) and I managed to care for my kids and keep my finances in order as a single mom. I had grandparents who were quite well off, and grandpa handled ALL the finances - when he died, my grandma couldn't even write a check! I swore I would never let myself get in that position. Math is not my strong point, so I do struggle, but my dh is very open and I try to keep on top of general family finances, simple investments and retirement plans. But beyond that.....I'm dense! So thanks, everyone!

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 13, 2001.

Hello, I can really understand your problem. I also have a special needs child who will need someone to assist her for life. Two bit of information: 1. If you have life insurance , speak to your agent. They often have a pile of cases in which people have dealt with this issue. Two, do not leave the money in their name. The government will not help in any way if they have any assets. Should they encounter a medical emergency etc no help would be available if they have money/assets to draw from. Hope this is helpful. I do know that the information is cheaper from an agent than from a lawyer. God Bless you in your searching. Faith

-- Faith Evers (foureverfaith@hotmail.com), January 14, 2001.

I have a disabled daughter. Please see a lawyer as leaving money to a son on SSI or Medicaid can cause him to lose his benefits. No person on either program can have over a cetain amount of money at a given time or they lose their benefits. Please dont go another step without the advise of a lawyer that knows social security and medicaid

-- Norman and Susie Stretton (nightsong@beci.net), January 16, 2001.

I have a disabled daughter. Please see a lawyer as leaving money to a son on SSI or Medicaid can cause him to lose his benefits. No person on either program can have over a cetain amount of money at a given time or they lose their benefits. Please dont go another step without the advise of a lawyer that knows social security and medicaid. Good luck

-- Norman and Susie Stretton (nightsong@beci.net), January 16, 2001.

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