Is the pitch really as cut up and waterlogged as it looks on the television.....it looks bliddy awful and it did last week on the Villa match.

Surely it couldn't have suffered that much in the heavy rain at the end of last year, other area's were hit a damn sight harder....what's the opinion of those at the last two matches?

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Answers

Sorry to hear about you leaving the Beeb Ken, you should be okay, Des Res had no problem did he, realise that you are working on your CV but the posting above screams to me that you cannot tell us yet but just say Alan, Charlie, Tommy will be your colleagues shortly,some man Ken, !! did not realise you were green fingered,

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

It wasn't waterlogged Ken, but the grass has become sparse and it is cutting up quite badly and becoming very uneven - difficult to pass on, which might have contrbuted to our inept passing yesterday.

The subsurface these days is very sandy which drains extremely well. It is the loss of grass on then surface that is causing the problems.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Apparently it's the undersoil heating that has caused the problems. According to Alan Shearer, like.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

That's what they said the last time the pitch crapped out - reckon it burns the roots. Don't they ever learn anything?

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Maybe they've had less rain but Arsenal's pitch still looks like it did on the first day of the season. Green everywhere and we could do well to take a trip down there and learn something from then, as well as the football side of things.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Different climate DB, and an old, well-established pitch.
We spent £500k laying this style pitch with integral undersoil heating. This is the second time it's cr@pped out - allegedly due to the undersoil heating drying out the roots of the grass.

Manure, and someone else installed this system at the same time we did, and I believe both gave up on it when it failed, and went back to conventional turf.

Several continental Clubs with high semi-enclosed stadia like SJP, have given up trying to maintain the pitch, and simply returf it entirely twice per year, at a cost I seem to recall of about £15-20,000 per go.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

£20k for a new pitch? What sort of grass is this?

Crap grass related joke:

Patient: Doctor, I can't stop myself from singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home.' Can you help me?
Doctor: Yes, seem to be suffering from Tom Jones syndrome.
Patient: Is that rare?
Doctor: Well, it's not unusual.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

;-{)

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

Hey Gibbo, that one made me laugh....and its so daft I am still laughing...thanks.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001

I've asked this several times before, but has anyone ever thought of rigging up some grate big hydroponic lights over the pitch. You know the ones they use in them indoor, high tech, Marajhuna crops. They could either be hooked up to the roof of the stadium, or maybe on a moveble scaffolding rig like.

Surely they would benefit the pitch no end.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2001