Round Two

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Why should your bands get points? Why should their bands lose them? And so on. Comments mean points! (If they're good ones)

-- Tom And Pete (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 07, 2001

Answers

Three pages in the NME on Outkast. Fantastic video for Ms Jackson. Raved about in every single bloody mag and supplement. Must be worth a point or two.

-- Mickey Moist (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 07, 2001.

Come on, Atomic Kitten? Surely the fact that one of their (now former) members is having the child of one of Westlife means that they should be deducted points simply by association.

Plus their single is the least memorable of all their releases so far and thats saying something.

Manics certainly deserve extra points for Nickys new feather cut with Alvin Stardust sideburns plus trying to piss off all their fans in one go. They play their first gig for ages in a country as far away as possible, release 2 singles in the one day so that all the fans have to spend twice the money than they would otherwise. Plus So Why So Sad sounds like the 1965 Beach Boys recorded down a phone. That'll please the mascara wearing hordes! Good on you lads, keep it up.

-- Sven Galli (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 07, 2001.


Out of curiosity, I did some research to see which artists were listed first in various artist directories.

For NME: U2, Oasis, Smashing Pumpkins (?), Eminem, Coldplay, Alfie, Manic Street Preachers, At The Drive In, Limp Bizkit, Britney Spears

For Dotmusic: Oasis, Spice Girls (!), Madonna, Robbie Williams, Britney Spears, Radiohead, All Saints, U2, Eminem, Blur

For MTV: Eminem, Britney Spears, Limp Bizkit, Shaggy, Backstreet Boys, Christina Aguilera, *NSYNC, Lil' Bow Wow, Nelly, Jennifer Lopez

For MuchMusic (countdown list): Eminem, Nelly Furtado, Jay-Z, Outkast, Britney Spears, Baby Blue Sound Crew, Shaggy, Jennifer Lopez, Our Lady Peace (???), R. Kelly

Billboard (current headlines): Shaggy, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Mick Jagger, Bruce Springsteen, U2, Coldplay, Tortoise, Cowboy Junkies, Afghan Whigs

There is one constant amongst these sources... BRITNEY. In addition to her swearing jag, she's done us all a faovr and signed on to replace that irritating little girl with the fucked-up voices in the Pepsi commercials.

-- Vinny Vidivicci (Y'all can't touch this!) (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 07, 2001.


I'd just like to point out that Shaggy has TWO singles in the US top twenty, "It Wasn't Me" - which only just came out for retail sale and is sure to stay #1 forever now - and "Angel". Surely this deserves top points? How many acts pull that stunt?

-- Simone Moon (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 07, 2001.

surely we aren't counting the american charts here??? Stick with the charts that are at least based on a notion of fair play and what THE KIDS are buying, rather than what ponytailed dinks want them to listen to!

-- Everett False (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 07, 2001.


Um.

Since one of the points of this game is to simulate being one of the "ponytailed dinks" trying to foist music upon the kids, I'd think that including the Billboards charts would be compulsory.

BTW, is Robbie's sudden urge to spawn (as reported in the Sun) worth a point or two? I certainly think so!

-- Vinny Vidivicci (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 08, 2001.


Clearly it is unacceptable that Craig should get NO POINTS for getting laid. I mean, that's what he does best.

-- Lucky Mallick (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 08, 2001.

Seen in PopEye Hall of Fame, here on FT: 1. Dr Dre / Snoop Dogg - The Next Episode - 39% (of visitors' votes).

This seems like a legitimate plebiscit to Dre, Steve Berman and me. And we're all Topp Doggz, you know...

-- Lucky Mallick (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 08, 2001.


While this was already answered, we should NOT count the American charts why? Being as, you know, EVERYONE goes #1 in Europe, and you don't exactly have to sell a lot of copy to do it either, unlike America where half of the #1s seem to sell a million copies a week...If I was a musician, I'd want to go #1 in the US. Being as I'm a manager, I also want that, since I get a bigger cut of the profits than the musician ;)

-- Simone Moon (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 09, 2001.

What's all this about us not counting the US charts? We put Shaggy in. The stated reason? HE IS #1 IN THE US CHARTS.

Mind you Everett is getting bonus points anyway for calling everyone else pony-tailed dinks.

-- Tom (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 09, 2001.



Since Tom clearly encourages below-the-belt cheap moves, I have the urging desire to inform you all that Vinny Vidivici threw a wild chazbaps party involving Christina and Britney. Carson Daly and Justin T were also present, apparently. So was I. Life in Hollywood only gets better and better.

-- Lucky Mallick (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 09, 2001.

Thank you, Lucky, for giving me bonus points.

-- Vinny Vidivicci (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 12, 2001.

Hey, do we get points of if the fans of our bands do remarkably asinine, disgusting things? I am, of course, referring to the German fellow who dove into a pool of shit to win the privilege of meeting Ricky Martin.

Little did the guy know he was actually entering the "Watch Ricky Martin Beat All Kinds Of Holy Hell Out Of The Tool Who Smells Like Poo" contest...

(I don't care if I lose points for this, I just find the whole thing hysterically funny.)

-- Vinny Vidivicci (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 13, 2001.


Vinny - just returning the favor for inviting me to that party (and letting me use and abuse pretty much all of your roster). Anyway, it seems that the Em with sing with the El at the Grams (Ounces, they should call em, really). Now that's ludicrous. Shouldnt it have been Pete Burns up there doing the Dido?

-- Lucky Mallick (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 13, 2001.

I love it when members of my roster band together like the pop juggernaut they truly are.

Now, on a meaner note, the person who okayed this unholy collaboration is clearly begging to have the skin flensed from his semen-encrusted body. I mean, really. The only reason this is happening is because someone with dodgy taste and suspect eyesight wants to have the king of all wanks...

-- Vinny Vidivicci (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 20, 2001.



I cannot even remember who my clients are, I was out so late last night. This is going to really piss off Shaggy, I think. WHO IS STILL #1, with a #1 ALBUM IN THE US. And played David Letterman yesterday, you know.

I have some thoughts about this J-Lo business...this is now the 4th time she's dumped Puffy, something tells me she'll come back.

So these grammys, anyhow. If Eminem doesn't release an album entirely consisting of Englebert Humperdink covers in two weeks, he should be kicked off the charts, because really, where else do you go from doing crap duets with Elton Sodding John, the man who'd streak naked in Siberia if you gave him 10 quid? Loses additional so-called cool when, after lyrically declaring that he doesn't give a fuck about the Grammys, he got Dr. Dre to do an interview claiming Em was "robbed" of his rightful best album statuette.

-- Simone (popsvengalis@hotmail.com), February 23, 2001.


Well, I hope that the smug bastard who's managing Atomic Kitten is pleased with himself.

In other news, Method Man and Redman appear to be doing their part to set the equal rights movement back 70 years. Frankly, if Eminem can get tossed off the charts for doing a duet with the World's Dodgiest Suit, these fuckers should be right behind him.

-- Vinny Vidivicci (popsvengali@hotmail.com), February 26, 2001.


Hello? Is anyone there? HELLO?

Doesn't anyone want to hear about how Britney is making her first foray into print-world domination? How she and her mother clashed over her racy new video? How she had the foresight not to get involved with Puffy? (I do not understand why Jennifer Lopez gets points for dumping the fool when a smarter woman would have had the sense not get involved with him in the first place. Frankly, all her points should go towards her booty.)

-- Vinny Vidivicci (popsvengali@hotmail.com), March 16, 2001.


Yeah, I was wondering what happened to this, but Tom seems a bit busy so I wasn't going to say anything...

Anyhow, I think it's worth nothing that Madonna has managed to yet again SHOCK AND OFFEND! By, apparently, ripping off The Cardigans' My Favorite Game video. That crazy old Madge.

-- Simone Moon (popsvengalis@hotmail.com), March 20, 2001.


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