How do you send out a "leave me alone" signal? Do you often end up talking to people when you'd rather be by yourself just to be "nice?"

-- Michael (dreamboi81@yahoo.com), February 11, 2001

Answers

My biggest problem with that seems to be at work. I will be VERY OBVIOUSLY busy with something, and someone (generally my extremely psycho-religious co-workers) will come up and just start blabbing about nothing of any importance - like what her kid did in Sunday School, or how Jesus loves us, or something.

I try to be nice at first, but I'll keep glancing back at my computer screen kind of impatiently. She almost never gets the hint! At that point, I'll just turn completely back to my computer and try to tune her out. She will keep standing there talking for like ten to fifteen minutes before she realizes that I am just not paying attention to her at all.

People just really don't get it sometimes.

-- Chyna (chyna@attackmonkey.com), February 12, 2001.

You have three options available to you,

(a) pretend you don't speak English (b) if they are religious, go into speell how you are already saved after feeling the power of you local TV evalgelist (c) do what's done in my country, raise your middle finger, point it at your target and say in a clear, unmistakeable tone "F*ck off mate "

Weren't you on a train ? Should have left your manners on the platform.

-- Dan (ruafo@telstra.com), February 12, 2001.

You know what I don't get? When someone is talking to you and you are giving the bare minimum answer (i.e. grunting, saying "uh huh" or "huh" or even just "uh) or looking at your computer monitor intently or dialing the phone or cataloguing 900 press photos or whatever the hell you happen to be doing, and definitely sending "don't talk to me" vibes so big you'd think they'd been A. skywritten in your office B. tattooed on the other person's ass or C. written on a hammer which you then bang on their head, and they STILL. KEEP. TALKING.

Why do coworkers think it's okay to share shit like one of their armpits is sweatier than the other? I mean, I don't mind hearing stuff like that from really good friends, but come on. Keep your overactive gland crap to yourself, ya know?

-- Melissa (melissa@ladydisdain.com), February 12, 2001.

we have this weird theater at school - an arena theater with movable seat carts in the lower ring. (so you can configure it to be a procenium if you want to and other such oddities.) the seat carts, however, have just enough room and floor lighting underneath the top row of seats that when i want to be left alone, i crawl underneath a seat on my stomach and put the headphones on and read. a.) no one can find you and b.) if they find you, it's often too much trouble to try and wriggle into position to talk to you that they give up.

i sleep on the direct back side of the set a lot, too, because no one ever finds you there, either.

if i'm not in the theater, it's the headphones and the book to read and often a notebook, because if you're reading AND writing they tend to leave you alone. and i scowl and smoke a lot. that keeps the non smokers away. and if they insist on talking, i only pull one earphone out, leave the music playing and talk without looking up.

-- aggie (donkara@carleton.edu), February 23, 2001.