Bit of a whirlwind Sunday afternoon.

I got really annoyed with the way we were playing against the last set of cockneys we'll face this season. It sounds from the reports and from YBR's own comments that it was a disgrace. I won't add to anything said.

Nevertheless, yesterday I pulled on the black and white and drove to Heathrow to pick up my wife from her weekend trip to Disneyland Paris (if you haven't been, don't bother was the assessment). Naturally enough, nothing the French do with anything English goes right, and the flight is delayed. So with time on my hands I dodge around the arrivals area, have an expensive coffee and bide my time.

Spotted three dodgy lads on the way in earlier, and saw one of them looking dead shifty like again. He was obviously up to no good, taking a great interest in baggage but not passengers arriving. Hmmmm, I thought. He clocked me and made a half hearted effort to look for an arrival before disappearing again.

News comes through that the flight is further delayed and won't be in for another hour. Great. Thanks BA. So I step outside to go back to the car, and try and catch the last minutes of the game on R5. Then I spot the same three 'geezahs' looking pleased with themselves, laughing and walking briskly away with a camcorder bag. One trots off to a nearby car followed by his accomplices.

Now, if I'd had a few pints I might have said something, but discretion is so often the better part of valour and I take the car reg as it rushes by. Got a look at the driver too, who looked a bit handy so probably the right decision.

Back inside I report it to the police as a suspicious incident, and a while later it turns out it was indeed a theft. Wankers. Anyway, while giving the police a statement I noted the officer's North East accent. Of course, he's a f**king SMB and comments on my top. For a mackem he was alright and fairly realistic about his club - not a European place this year, no real quality players, graft out results, top ten probable. All the while I really want to lash out into "Peyter Reyd", but there's no point being nicked when the busy is doing a fair job of criticising his own side.

Wife finally arrives just after we finish the statement. The Terminal manager pops over to say thanks for reporting the incident - nae botha, aal in a day's work. They were kind enough to pay for the car parking fee too (£8.50 not to be sniffed at) and another copper said thanks too. Chinese and wine on the way home. Bizarre day.

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2001

Answers

Well done Bobby....what baggage were they taking an interest in? the stuff sitting with people in the arrivals hall?

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2001

Aye, and I tell you even I could've had a few hundredweight of briefcases, handbags etc. F**king pathetic the way people take so little care of their own property, especially when the tannoy makes announcements every 10 mins about leaving stuff unattended.

Actually, the theft apparently took place near the coach stops. The most annoying thing was the number of people who took no interest at all. General public, who needs them?

Point of interest for would be theives / victims. The video cameras at Heathrow are sh**e. They're not good enough quality to pick out facial features even from 20 yds away. In fact the coppers said thanks for wearing my B&W so they could identify me! (No, the lens didn't break). F**k, a £5 disposal camera does a better job!

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2001