How to tell if your child NEEDS preschool or day care ?

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Well for a while now I have been worried about our youngest .Mikaylee is 20 months and the youngest of 4 .Her siblings are 15,12 and 8 .She is home alone with me at the farm .There are no other children around .It's us the calves,lambs ,chickens,pigs and are new 9 week old puppy .Now I might be bragging but she a smart little kid .Picks up on everything .So what's the problem you may ask .I now have proof she needs to spend more time with children and less with the animals especially the puppy .

We went to Walmart and where so excited to buy a potty chair ,as she is showing interest in going potty .She always tells me when the puppy goes pee .Well we got home took it out and had to try it right away .She's sitting and sitting and nothing .Stands up ,squats and pees on the floor ! Conclussion she spends way to much time with the puppy !And if anything else pees on my floor I will scream .I almost peed my pants laughing .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@slic.com), March 27, 2001

Answers

what a hilarious story! kids are so funny! let her keep growing up with the puppy and other animals! she'll do MUCH BETTER than in a daycare or preschool!!!!

-- Suzy in Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), March 27, 2001.

I would never put her in day care , but we are looking for a play group.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@slic.com), March 27, 2001.

I have five sons, and the youngest child is a daughter. Well, she had seen how her youngest older sibling did it, so when she got ready to learn, she wanted to stand in front of the potty and pee. :-) I agree; I don't think little ones need preschool. I think they need their mommies.

-- mary, texas (marylgarcia@aol.com), March 27, 2001.

Our almost 4 year old son's two best friends are a 2 year old Blue Heeler and a 1 1/2 year old German Shepard. His older sister is 23 and lives away from home, so he's an only child here on the farm most of the time. The thing we've noticed is that when he does get together with other children to play, his favorite game seems to be a pretty rough game of wrestling, like he does with the dogs! The good thing is that his best human friend (another 4 year old boy) lives in a similar household with large dogs and knows how to play the game too. Seriously, I've often wondered the same thing, does he need pre- school? What we've been doing instead is taking him to swimming classes at a YMCA, which is a 30 mile drive twice a week, but gets him exposure to listening to a teacher and interacting with other kids his age in an activity that he really loves. The other thing we're fortunate to have here is a local library with an excellent story hour once a week that he's been going to since he's been 1 1/2 years old. We plan to homeschool, so would like to avoid the preschool experience if we can.

-- Rose Marie Wild (wintersongfarm@yahoo.com), March 27, 2001.

Had to laugh! Just had my 5 year old grandson for the weekend. He goes to daycare and is being raised by his dad. He has learned to "pitch pennies" at daycare, told me he could do better if he had a NOSE RING. I asked him where you get those, and he told me the name of the store in Denver to get one. Now, aren't you glad your little one just peed on the floor? Could be worse! She could be gambling at 5 and wishing for a nosering! Wonder what they are teaching kids in daycare these days?? Jan

-- Jan in Co (Janice12@aol.com), March 27, 2001.


Your daughter sounds charming!! I wouldn't spoil her with a playgroup or daycare. My boys were in a playgroup when they were young, and it just taught them how to pinch, kick and whine. If I had to do it all again, no playgroup. Mary

-- Mary Fraley (kmfraley@orwell.net), March 27, 2001.

Rose Marie , her puppy happens to be a Red Heeeler .She's such fun pup and work .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@slic.com), March 27, 2001.

Patty, I've tackled the same issues re: playgroups. My 3 1/2 year old, who is very bright, still hasn't been to "school." His social contact with other children is centered around his older, school age siblings and occasional interaction with cousins. He plays well with other young ones so I'm not too worried just yet. I've been getting pressure from in-laws to send him to school so he can socialize (of course, I don't care what they think), but I never thought school settings were ideal for tots. In fact, I find the constant transmission of germs at daycare to be a turnoff.

20 months is young and she needs mama more than anything. I wouldn't rush her into a strucutured playgroup. You may want to try a "mommy and me" type program when she is a bit older--you hang out and she plays with other children and a teacher. Call me old fashioned, but there is much benefit to keeping them with their mom or dad when they are young--even up to age three. They need time to just be little ones. I bet you provide her with tons of stimulation--and a bright child is able to learn so much just by being busy. If you want her to see other ones her age, you can try a story hour at the library!

-- amy (acook@in4web.com), March 28, 2001.


OK the preschool ,daycare thing was kinda a joke .All 3 of my older children never did daycare or preschool .They where with me .The play groups we've done have always had the parent stay with the kids .On a good note she got up and peed on the potty this am .She was so proud of herself.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@slic.com), March 28, 2001.

Amy, please don't take this wrong, but I was rather horrified at your comment that little children need their parents "even up to age three." Little children need their parents even up to age six (or older), would be more like it. This culture is sending children out of the home WAY TOO YOUNG. (Yes, I know I'm shouting!) Keep them home as long as you can -- homeschool if you possibly can. You will NEVER regret it!! And you won't have to worry about your child getting shot at school, either, or wanting nose rings, or bringing rotten music into the house, or a lot of other things they learn by "socializing" at school. Socialization isn't what it's cracked up to be! Keep them home!!

Patty, that was really cute about your daughter -- aren't children a riot sometimes?!? They sure do keep you on your toes trying to keep up with them. I think I've finally decided that I'm glad I don't have any fulltime at my house anymore, though -- can send the grandchildren home with their parents and go to bed and sleep in peace!!

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), March 28, 2001.



Children neeed there parents up until the childs death!

-- Gary (gws@redbird.net), April 01, 2001.

kathleen, I think you misread my comment. I was trying to say (and not very well!) that they need to be home with mom at least until age 3. My youngest was always with me until age three and then I began working again part time and found a lovely sitter. He was ready at that time to "separate." I'm not saying that children only need mom until age 3 and then we dump them and forget about them! Sheesh!:-) Of course children need their parents until death, as someone else put it so succinctly! Amy

-- amy (acook@in4web.com), April 01, 2001.

And i will also add that I began working out of financial necessity, not because I feel that my three year old no longer needs me. I'd love to be with him all the time, but I cannot. Even so, my sitter comes to my home and is a wonderful, loving person.

It is actually our plan to homeschool again (we did it for two years with out older children). It's possible my youngest may never go to school!

-- amy (acook@in4web.com), April 01, 2001.


That's "with *our* older children." Can't type today.

-- amy (acook@in4web.com), April 01, 2001.

Please don't put the child in a daycare. When my granddaughter moved out of the city, she had been in a "better" facility. Good Lord! She knew how to bite,kick,scream, pinch and swear...and she was only 4. She came out here and entered a Christian school which was pure culture shock for both she and the school. If you could find a library that has some program for little ones, that's a good plan. My daughter goes once a week with her 3 year old son. A play group is a good idea too, but I wouldn't be too concerned.

-- Ardie from WI (a6203@hotmail.com), April 03, 2001.


Patty,

I have a son who is now 6 yrs old and in the first grade. He went to kindergarten last year and prior to that had never gone to daycare or play groups or anything of the sort. His kindergarten teacher was amazed at how attentive he was. He could sit still. He could listen. He could perform any task she asked of him. He got along well with all his classmates (incidently he was never exposed to neighborhood children either - only two older sisters, one 13 years older than him and the other sister 10 years older than him). His kindergarten teacher was astounded to learn that he could read at the level he was reading. (She loaned him her paperback copy of Charlotte's Web - which he read from cover to cover). When I went to pick him up from school one day, she had him sitting in the teacher's chair reading a book to the entire class! His first grade teacher had his reading level tested and he scored on a fourth grade level. Not bad in my opinion for being in first grade and having never had the "distraction" of earlier "formal schooling". I think as long as they are home, you can expand and enhance their interests. My son has always loved going to the library. I started taking him when he was about 18 months old. He learned how to behave quietly, how to take care of the books, how to appreciate them and above all how to read at a very early age. I never took him to a story time group. It was just him and I looking at books together and choosing which ones he wanted to check out and bring home. When he was three, I purchased the 4k Abeka home school program and used that to give him a "boost" so that when he started kindergarten once he turned 5, he would have some knowledge of what he would be doing in school. He has always loved learning. From the time he was very young, he was always asking questions about everything. Having worked in a daycare myself for several years, I don't recommend them at al unless absolutely necessary. Some folks take better care of their livestock than some of these centers do your children. Being home compared to daycare? No comparrison! Once they do go off to "school" they learn awful habits, their individual needs are not met, and in MY opinion they become nothing more than money in the pocket of the owners. You can try to dress it up all you want to with "credentials" and "certifications" etc. but the bottom line is that your child is money in their pocket. Plain and simple. Keep your precious little one at home as long as you can. Savor these moments.

-- Greenthumbelina (sck8107@aol.com), April 03, 2001.


LOL, that was a cute story, Patty :) . I have learned not to push my kids to potty train. This story I'm going to share is about my 3 yo. Her practioner found at one of my dd's check-ups that she has slightly elevated blood pressure. After weeks of checking and rechecking, it was still up there (not extremely high, just a little above normal). They decided she needed blood work done. They said they also wanted a urine sample and if she didn't give it, that they would have to catheterize her. I refused the cath and told them I would bring it in. Well, I tried and tried to get her to pee in the cup. One night, I told her that she was going to have to do it in the morning because we had a doctor's appointment. She came back about an hour later with a full sippy cup :-O . MOMMY MOMMY I DID IT she said.

Christa

-- Christa (novahunt@yahoo.com), April 03, 2001.


I have a beautiful 32 month old daughter. I had wanted to send her to a preschool 3 months ago. And I am glad I didn't. But I do send her to a mommy and child playschool. They need to be in different surroundings with friends of their age. I believe we should not feel too eager to send them off to a preschool at this tender age. This is the time when they are very much aware of insecurity of life. They are always on the look out for their parents' presence. I spend most of my time with her at home, playing all types of games I could think of and I teach her reading and writing thru story books and activity books.

-- bee-imm lim (beeimm@maxis.net.my), May 27, 2001.

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