My wife of 25 years has begun to see another man who she originally began seeing while employed by a company that encouraged her to visit prison inmates. The man is a 3 time convicted (drug possession) parolee. Her job was supposed to be to enable these convicts to seek and obtain employment when released.

She began seeing him late last summer, and he was released on parole on October 31. Without my knowledge she began to meet with him after his release. She has mis-represented the circumstances to both our family and her employer. Has she committed adultry? If so, what is the Church's position regarding any future marriage to him. She has since filed for divorce in civil court.

-- Dale E. Hoosier (fortmort@anglefire.com), April 03, 2001

Answers

Response to My wife has committed adultry??? What is the result with reference to divorce/annulment?

Jmj

Dale, I'm very sorry to read about your heart-breaking situation. What your wife is doing appears to be very wrong.

Please read this paragraph from the new Catechism of the Catholic Church, which will answer your first question:
2380. "Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations - even transient ones - they commit adultery. Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire. [Mt 5:27-28 = 'You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'.] The sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely.[Cf. Mt 5:32 ; Mt 19:6 ; Mk 10:11 ; 1 Cor 6:9-10.] The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery; they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry. [Cf. Hos 2:7 ; Jer 5:7 ; Jer 13:27 .]"

We have no idea whether or not your wife has had illicit sexual relations, so we cannot say that she has committed "bodily adultery," but it is possible that she has committed "adultery in her heart" (to use Jesus's expression).

About your other question ... I think that you are wondering whether or not she can be married in the Catholic Church?

It would be possible (regardless of any possible adultery) only if one of two things were to happen:
1. If you were to die, she would be free to marry.
2. If, after the divorce, she were to obtain a Decree of Nullity from the Catholic diocese's marriage tribunal, she would be free to marry. Such a Decree would be granted only if the tribunal were to find that, on the day of your wedding, you and she did not really enter into a valid, sacramental marriage, in the eyes of God and the Church, because of some impediment. (I know that such a thing may seem impossible after 25 years, but it could happen.) If a Decree of Nullity were granted, it would mean that both you and she would be free to enter into the first valid sacrament marriage of your lives. If you have children, they would not be considered illegitimate by Church of state.

Praying for God's will to be done in your lives,
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), April 04, 2001.

Response to My wife has committed adultry??? What is the result with reference to divorce/annulment?

You might possibly profit by the sayings of the Master:

Mark 10:5-12 5And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. .................. 6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. .................. 7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; .................. 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. .................. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. .................. 10And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. .................. 11And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. ................. 12And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

And,

1 Cor 7:10-16 .................. 10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? .................. Also, .................. 1 Cor 7:39 39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. ..................

The accommdation to the Israelites in regard to marriage and divorce does not extend into the Day of Grace as revealed by the Apostles and Prophets. Jesus catagorically states Moses allowed them to play the fool, but it was not so in the begining. God created them male and female for a life long union that was indissoulable except via the door of death. The vow was for better or worse, in sickness and in health, richer or poorer. ...................................................... The divorce situation is as muddy today as ever among almost all sects and groups as ever. And men and women are going to do as they wish as in the days of Moses. They could care less about the teachings of Jesus or Paul...or they think to find an avenue around it. Marriage is for the biological life of the man and the woman. ...................................................... Matt 5:32 32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, *saving* for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. ...................................................... Mark 10:12 12And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. ...................................................... Luke 16:18 18Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. ...................................................... NT:4202 .................................... porneia--(fornication) .................. 1) illicit sexual intercourse a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals, etc. .................. b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev 18 c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mark 10:11,12 2) metaphorically, the worship of idols; used of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols .................................... NT:3924 .................................... parektos--

) except, with the exception of (a thing) 2) besides

Matt 5:32 "saving" for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

-- Collin (boy3483@dell.net), April 06, 2001.