Are you tired of all those mushy "friendship" poems > > that always sound good but never actually come close > > to reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem that > > really speaks to true friendship and truth itself! > > > > My Friend ... > > > > When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you > > plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. > > > > When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is > > choking you. > > > > When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got laid. > > > > When you are scared, ...I will rag you about it every chance I get. > > > > When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible > > stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. > > > > When you are confused, ...I will use little words to explain it to your > > dumb ass. > > > > When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're well again. I > > don't want whatever you have. > > > > When you fall, ...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. > > > > This is my oath, ...I pledge till the end. Why you > > may ask? Because you're my friend! > > > >

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2001