I fell down not once but TWICE the day before yesterday. And I almost never fall.

I was in the shower and lost my footing on some soap scum. So what did I reach for to brace myself? That's right -- the shower curtain. I fell through the curtain and onto the floor. I landed on my right hip. After assessing that nothing was broken, I had to laugh because my situation was so ridiculous. I got up and there were little puffs of lather all over the floor. I was glad that I hadn't hurt myself very much.

An hour later, I was walking up one of the apartment stairwells with a basket of laundry. We have those concrete steps with spaces in between. Somehow my crappy house shoe got caught on one and I fell on my knees on the edge of the next step. That hurt like HELL. I was extremely afraid that I'd torn my new pants. I hadn't -- I only scraped the skin underneath.

Then I changed from my house shoes to my platform sandals and I didn't fall anymore.

Then I woke up the next day and my hip and shoulders hurt as if someone had beaten me with a baseball bat.

I'm much better now, thank you. So when's the last time you fell?

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

Answers

Oh, goodie, I can tell my klutz story.

Last December, I was in New York City with my mom. We'd gone over to look at the Christmas tree. I was looking at the tree, stepped off a 1" drop, twisted my ankle and hit the ground. I sprained my ankle rather badly, too. It's still not 100%.

Stupid little 1" drop-off. Sheesh.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

I was standing in the kitchen, just minding my own business talking to my roommate and I fell over. I bashed my wrist hard on the counter, but it was fine in about 10 minutes. I must of hit my elbow 'cause I have a 3-4 inch bruise around it.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

I was at my aunts on christmas standing in the foyer, looking cute...or trying to, and i didn't know my cousins purse strap was wrapped around my ankle and i took a step and there was a puddle of melted snow behind me, and i slipped and landed on my knee...not good, cuz it was my bad knee, but better ,i suppose, then falling on my butt, cuz i have a broken pelvis.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

funny, I was blanking until you mentioned the laundry, Gwen. Twice now I have been carrying my HUGE bag of laundry down the stairs in my apartment building and misjudged a step and bitten it full-on, facefirst. The first time was on the steps outside the front door, so that was cement, in public (ugh), and I was so, so glad I had the big bag of squishy laundry to cushion my fall. I was more startled than anything else. The last time was just a few weeks ago, on the inside stairwell, which is carpeted, and I went sprawling out of control headlong into a wall at the base of the stairs, I kid you not. It had to have looked like a cartoon, "splat!"
I have several other Bad Fall Stories in addition to the two aforementioned ones. The best one happened in August of 1995, on my last night of a 5-week stay in London, England. I was hitting all the cheesy touristy shops in Leicester Square/Piccadilly Circus to get those crucial last-minute crap souvenirs, and was in somewhat of a hurry, on my way to meet my friend for dinner. I was wearing this totally rad dress I used to have (plaid with a very short, pleated skirt, and buckles and stuff), and thigh-high socks, and back then I was rather striking anyway because my hair was two feet long and dyed a beautiful bright coppery red-orange-- what I'm saying is, I was noticeable. (This is a factor in the story.)
So I'm buzzin' around, feeling fab in my cool short dress and bitchen new thigh-highs, and as I head for the middle of this very large shop that is packed with people, I neglect to notice a tiny flight of wee steps (perfectly camouflaged by the garish carpeting), and I do a *spectacular* faceplant into the floor. Not only do I fall-- I fall with velocity, so that the bags (of crap souvenirs) I'm holding go _skidding_ across the carpet, and that rad short dress I'm wearing flips up neatly so that everyone can have a nice lengthy gander at my knickers.
I was _literally_ on my face, my nose to the carpet. And the whole thing was just so absurd and lame that (after fixing my skirt), I lay there laughing before I even tried to get up.
When I finally got to my feet, a security guard, who'd witnessed the whole thing from nearby, deadpanned, "If you wanted my attention, you could have just said so."

*HOWL*

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

I almost fell down last week. I was in my boss's office, my left foot on the floor and my right knee on a chair next to his desk. I had my right elbow on his computer monitor and I was rocking the back legs of the chair up and down as I talked to him. I rocked too far. I started to fall down but managed to right myself before completely wiping out or knocking over the chair or pulling his monitor onto the floor. He asked if I was OK, I told him how dumb I felt, and then he told me that what he was really concerned about was whether I was going to break his monitor by pulling it over. :-|

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

does passing out count as falling down? I passed out at New Years...over indulged in many things, but what finally did me in was sugar...had a soda and whoosh! massive sugar rush=me out cold on the floor with a bit tongue.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

I fell down practically once a day every winter that I lived in Nebraska. Never quite got the hang of walking on ice.

So, you'd think logic would have prevented me from...

going ice skating.

but it didn't. And I did. And my xhusband was trying to hold my hand while we skated-he gracefully floated along the ice, I teetered and swerved and tried to stay close to the railing. Naturally, when I bit it, he tried to hold me up by my arm, so I had no arm to reach out in front of me as I fell. All of my weight came down on the knee that cracked into the ice.

There is still a spot on my knee that I think you could stick a fork into and I would never feel it. I blame the xhusband.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

A step ladder slipped out from under me last September. I tore a rotator cuff. I avoided surgery, but the healing process is very slow. The motto- "Be careful next time moron".

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

What's a rotator cuff?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

There is a set of 4 muscles that attach the arm to the shoulder. The group of 4 are called the rotator cuff. It's a common injury in a fall. It's also a common injury for baseball pitchers.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Ah, a subject near and dear to me right now! As I type, I'm wearing a brace on my hand from an "almost" fall. Stepped on a bit of steak bone on the patio and my ankle started twisting out from under me, so I sort of launched myself - arms outstretched - into the patio door and broke a bone (the scaphoid) in my wrist.

Completely unaware that it was broken (!), I went about my business for a couple of months before I realized something was really wrong. Spent three weeks in cast, which included the thumb (which really sucked and I found out I'm "castrophic", had a full panic attack two days after I got the cast on and hyperventilated...still struggling with that anxiety crap).

Good news is the bone healed, bad news is the ligament holding the scaphoid and the lunate bones together the the wrist is split and the bones have separated. So I'm stuck in this brace and if it doesn't work, pins and surgery and 5 more months in a cast/brace and physical therapy!!!! Lesson learned: keep the patio swept or don't give the damn dog any steak bones!

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001