Hi! I am not Catholic so I really don't know much about annulments, but I have a pressing concern. Three years ago, my brother-in-law left his wife, after years of cheating on her, and moved in with a girl who is Catholic. The problem is this (not that that wasn't a problem): He was divorced from his wife 2 years ago, then he converted to the Catholic faith, and now he and this same girl are to be married in a few weeks. (I remain friends with all parties.) I just spoke to his ex-wife a few days ago, and she said that no one contacted her about an annulment - they were married for 10 years, have 2 children and were married in a Lutheran service/church. Can he get married to his fiance without an annulment? There is a strong possibility that he forged documents - he told her that he has a chemisty degree when he never attended college, etc., etc. - So far no one has the guts to tell her - Is there any way to find out thru public documentation that he did indeed get an annulment granted. Don't both parties need to sign something? I hate to go to this wedding and worry that it is based on false representation. I cannot ask the fiance as I don't want to cause trouble without proof, or she will just think that I am trying to cause them problems, but I really think that he may have forged something. Just because you convert to Catholicism, your past marriages are not considered invalid, because you were a non-Catholic then, correct? Please shed some light on this - I don't even want to attend this wedding and my husband is standing up in it! Thank you!

-- Karissa Kolar (kkolar@jvlnet.com), May 12, 2001

Answers

All marriages are considered valid until proven otherwise. In order for him to marry in or convert to the Catholic faith while intending to marry after a divorce an annulment would be necessary. Is it possible hat he told them that he did not know where she was or how to contact her?

-- Br. Rich SFO (repsfo@prodigy.net), May 12, 2001.

No, I am afraid that would be impossible - we all live in the same little town (about 8,000) people. He picks up his kids every other weekend. They (he and his ex-wife) have a terrible relationship. She still feels very betrayed. They rarely speak - that is why I think he may have forged the signature. He knows she would fight an annulment. I am sincerely baffled at how he could be remarrying without her consent to an annulment - sounds fishy, don't you think?

-- Karissa Kolar (kkolar@jvlnet.com), May 12, 2001.

Hello, Karissa.

I'm so surprised to see your surname, Kolar. That was my grandmother's maiden name (born in Europe), and I have never seen it before in North America (in almost 50 years).

I hope that there are some hidden, legitimate facts that are unknown to you in the case of your brother-in-law. If there are not, it looks like potentially big trouble. He may have lied to the pastor at the Catholic Church, stating that he was never married at all -- which would explain why his wife was never contacted by the Church.

It is imperative that you call (or use an anonymous party to call) the pastor of the parish in which the wedding is scheduled to occur. [I'm willing to do it for you, if you contact me by private e-mail.] For the benefit and protection of all the parties involved, and out of your obvious great respect for the sanctity of marriage, I ask you please to tell what you know to the pastor. You can think of a way to do it without revealing who you are, if you think that is necessary.

There is no public record of Decrees of Nullity, so you will not be able to check on that -- nor should you ask the pastor questions about that. Just give him the facts, please, and let him do an investigation, if he judges that one is necessary.

Thanks for going out of your way to ask us about this.
God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), May 12, 2001.

John makes a good point that annulments are closed proceedings. However since your sister is or would have been in fact a party to the annulment process she has the right to ask for and receive any information relating to her marriage status. Have her contact the diocese.

-- Br. Rich SFO (repsfo@prodigy.net), May 13, 2001.

Good point, Rich. She should have that right.
If there was a nullity proceeding in which she was ignored (not contacted), then she was wronged. If her inquiry reveals that there was no proceeding, then the Catholic bishop would not allow the planned marriage to occur.
Thanks.
John

-- (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), May 13, 2001.