Jimmy jumps up out of his seat with uncontrollable glee at the Merle Haggard concert, his hands clapping as fast as humanly possible...... add.......

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Answers

...as John Leake stood in the shadows saying "Yes, yes - the sucess of this portion of my efforts to transplant a chicken brain into a human are a success!!" "Now, if only my efforts to transplant the Border Collie herding gene into my chickens would only work...."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Yeah,you old Polecat,make me split a gut.How am I going to eat breakfast now,with this split gut? Well Earth- seems to be functioning all right severed in half,so I guess I can manage to eat some of Barney's leg for breakfast. Just call me Sister Donner. Thanks to Earth-,I've seen the light and have been converted....Praise the Lord and past the body parts.

OK let me try one...

bc..it's not really Jimmy,anymore. It's James. The fascist jackbooted borgs have finally taken over,and they have taken control of his body and mind.He is part of the Hive.He has no free will. He must like buttheaded bigoted things.He has no choice.We must now eliminate him,for his own good and before he converts us,too,and we get added to their collective.

Polecat,earn your keep.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

The intrepid Guido and Vinnie, in one of their many noms de guerre, 00Fly and her sidekick, Oh-Kato, transport to the Borg cube, and liberate Jimmy. Of course, now being Borg, he doesn't see it as liberation, so we render him unconscious and transport away. Resuming our Guido and Vinnie personae, thus thwarting the Borg's attempts to pursue us (they don't understand this technology yet -- we "borrowed" it from Jimmy's lab, so we don't really understand it either). We deliver Jimmy's deactivated Borgified bod to the infirmary, hoping Diane and Polly can put him back the way he was. I think you need a mechanic to help you too! Go to it!

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Polly and Diane, feeling quite certain that, because of his many years of meditation practice and sylva mind control, an inner core of the spirit of Jimmy had survived; began playing soothing spiritual music for him and calling him back into consciousness.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Unfortunatly, as Jimmy regins conciousness, he insists that we call him King James and begins humming "Okie from Muskogee". While Nick begins working on modifications to the electric fence charger to provide elctroshock therapy; we call in jumpoff joe to help us deprogram Jim. Joe believes that we should try some serious mind control, so he heads off to the music store to find some of those weird CD's that Jim used to listen to. While at the music store, he....

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Bumps into Soupbean and Cornbread,who convince JOJ that shock therapy really is the WAY, and not barbaric after all, and a heck of alot of fun to watch to boot, and so they gets him to buy hillbilly music to scare the heck outta that boy.

Polecat,of course, approves of the plan. And G & V just smile,knowingly. Earth- hasn't been herself lately,she's not been all there,so she has no opinion.

David,meanwhile has already administered anethesia in the form of scrumpy (whatever the h*ll that is) so that the shock of all that fiddle music doesn't put our little Jimmy Bob into cardiac arrest....

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

But the anesthesia doen't work so - in a moment when everyone is busy trying to hot-wire the nuclear-powered nose hair clipper - Jimmy Bob aka King James aka James aka Jimmy moves to Schenectady, changes his name to Maxine, and opens up a squirrel-shaving business with Nick, his new lover and ballet partner...

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Hmmm.....Wildwoods Flower thinks....I sure haven't had any pork BBQ in a mighty long time.Reckon I'll hunt me down that no account Cornbread that usta live here and his new "b*tch". I can have a nice picnic for all the kinfolk. We'll eat good. No sense in lettin' all that meat go to waste.They shouda thought what happens you get a woman mad,'fore they went and done such a fool thing.I'll locate their sorry a**es.....

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Polly is delighted to recieve an invitation to the "family" dinner, and happily cooks up a mess of fried green tomatoes to go with the BBQ. Guido and Vinnie show up in their new white ties and black fedoras, causing quite a stir in the Kentucky countryside - the "violin" cases that they are carrying make the folks certain that they are headed for the big bluegrass hoedown and they are curious about what kind of moves the big city gals have to show them.

Nick and Jim, unable to make a go of the squirrel shaving business, decide to return home to their nearest and dearest, unaware that Soupbean has put a contract out on them...all they know is that they got an invitation to dinner.

Diane, in the meantime, is quietly contacting an officer of the court to have them all committed to.....

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

..........a secret sweat shop located in the skumy part of New York where everyone around knows it's operated by "Bill". Yes, this is the famous Bill we all know, since he got run out of the bank business, he's taken up a new hobby. His new clothing line is called "Hillarys". Seems to be quite the thing to wear these days in New York if you are anybody important.

But the officer of the court can't fine the lovers, they are in the bedding asile at Homo Depot, picking out their new bedroom ensamble, in Peach and Lilac colors with little ruffled edges (Jim insists on the ruffles). Next they are going to find them some of those sandals everyone is wearing called "QueensThings". Or maybe just some Hong Cong Thongs, and yes some of the other "Thongs" too! I wonder how long before they are found............What else will they buy.......

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2001