Annulment

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I have just become engaged to a wonderful man and we happily plan to marry next year - the problem is how?! He is a Catholic divorcee and I am also catholic and we would very much love marrying in a catholic church but don't know if we can. Eric's ex-wife was protestant and they are both French and were married in France. Although divorced he never sought annulment, does he need too? If it is required, how does he go about it? Hope you can help. Yours hopefully and with kind regards Helen

-- Helen Cuddigan (helen@raisley.com), July 09, 2001

Answers

I'm out of time here this morning but to answer quickly. Yes he does, I would not plan anything until the Annulment which may take awhile. Start with his current pastor.

-- Br. Rich SFO (repsfo@prodigy.net), July 09, 2001.

Helen, don't take it for granted that an annulment will granted - it's not a "Catholic divorce." There have to be valid grounds for one. Unfortunately, annulments have been abused in the U.S., usually grounds are given such as "immaturity" or "inability to fully understand the marriage vows"(at the time of the first marriage. This is slop. Traditionally, grounds for annulment include inability to consummate the marriage, clandestine marriages, forced marriages, underage, etc.

-- Christina (introibo2000@yahoo.com), July 10, 2001.

Christina,
I have read a great deal on this subject, and I have spoken to a very well informed priest (canon lawyer) about it. I have come to conclusions remarkably different from yours.
Can you please describe in detail your expertise on this? Can you explain how you are able to judge that "annulments have been abused in the U.S.?" That is a serious charge, and you must be able to prove it. You would not want to defame the U.S. dioceses' marriage tribunals, would you?
I would urge you to read those sections of the 1983 Code of Canon Law that pertain to Decrees of Nullity (and the grounds therefor), so that you can get up-to-date on this complex topic before advising folks like Helen.

Rich was right, Helen, to recommend that your fiance approach his pastor as soon as possible and that you both pray for the gifts of patience and acceptance of God's will.

God bless you.
John

-- (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), July 10, 2001.


My own sister was very aggravated years ago, at the virtual impossibilty of getting her first marriage anulled. And she is no dope. In her mind, the grounds definitely exist. But she was turned down. It was partly because her ex-husband refused to even fill out the required questionnaires-

They say it's been a little more liberalized now. You just have to consult the canon lawyers, and pray a lot. I guess.

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), July 10, 2001.


First, John, I must admit that my response assumed a bit too much - i.e. that there was a valid marriage. If Helen's husband married a protestant, and they were not married in the presence of a Catholic priest, then the marriage is not a valid Catholic marriage right off the bat. I don't have my copy of the Code of Canon Law handy, but c'mon, it is common knowledge that most annulment requests are granted in the U.S. I read a couple of years ago in The Latin Mass Magazine that 90% of annulments granted in this country that are appealled to Rome are then overturned (thus negating the opinion of the American tribunall). If the grounds for annulment used today, other than the ones I mentioned above, were used years ago, then many of our ancestors did not have valid marriages!

-- Christina (introibo2000@yahoo.com), July 10, 2001.


Eugene -- GOOD GRIEF!
Didn't you read my message to you (about your sister) on another thread a few days ago? It seems that way. Please let me know, and I will try to track it down for you.

Dear Christina,
You have not grasped the seriousness of my objection to what you are saying. I will try again to impress upon you the fact that this is a complex subject. It is easy for a Catholic to read an article or two about marriage nullity and to (wrongly) think that he/she has a good grasp of it. I am telling you that there is a lot more than meets the eye here. To speak up on this subject, one must do a lot of "homework."

You stated: "c'mon, it is common knowledge that most annulment requests are granted in the U.S.."
I never said that that was not true. But it is irrelevant! I would HOPE that most requests (i.e., more than 50%) would be granted if most of the putative marriages examined were invalid! The simple fact that U.S. tribunals grant a decree of nullity in more than 50% of cases they examine does not mean that more than 50% of ALL marriages are invalid -- but only that more than 50% of the putative marriages they EXAMINE are invalid. Furthermore, I have read that at least half of the decrees of nullity are granted to non-Catholic people who wish to marry Catholics. It should not surprise you to know that so many non-Catholics receive decrees of nullity from Catholic marriage tribunals, because so many of those poor folks entered into marriages in which there was either (a) an intention to remain childless permanently or indefinitely or (b) lack of true belief in the permanence of marriage -- i.e., a belief that divorce and remarriage are likely for them. These are obvious grounds for invalidity.

Christina, part of being a good Catholic is for you and me to trust God to help the (highly educated) marriage tribunals to do their job well. A bad Catholic will lack trust, and will think, act, and speak with skepticism about this. You and I ought to assume that the tribunals are right almost always (allowing for rare human error). That is part of why I believe that you are way out of line in what you are writing here.

You continued: "I read a couple of years ago in 'The Latin Mass Magazine' that 90% of annulments granted in this country that are appealed to Rome are then overturned (thus negating the opinion of the American tribunal)."
This statement of yours was the main reason I said that you need to study this subject more deeply. As the saying goes, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing." The fact is that, after a U.S. diocesan marriage tribunal makes a decision (thumbs up or down), that decision is automatically appealed to another U.S. diocese's tribunal. The appeal almost always ends by upholding the original tribunal's decision -- all the more reason for you to trust the Holy Spirit's action. Now, in the uncommon event that the appeals tribunal disagrees with the original tribunal, the case is taken to the Vatican for yet another analysis. THESE few cases are the ones about which your magazine reported. Therefore your evaluation of the situation was completely wrong. The decisions of U.S. tribunals are very rarely -- not very commonly -- overturned.

Finally, you stated: "If the grounds for annulment used today, other than the ones I mentioned above, were used years ago, then many of our ancestors did not have valid marriages!"
That may be true, but I don't think that you and I have the expertise to say for sure. But let us assume that it is true. That does not necessarily mean that anything is wrong with today's criteria/grounds. It could mean that the former grounds/criteria were too narrow. More fairly, we should say that the old grounds were the best that the Church could do at that time, but that the Magisterium has grown in its understanding of interpersonal relationships, psychological disorders, the role of alcoholism and drug addiction, etc.. Again, though, it is not your place or mine to criticize the criteria/grounds in use in the past or in the present. Let us just be loyal, not rebellious, Catholics.

St. James, pray for us.
God bless you.
John

-- (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), July 10, 2001.


I am currently in the process of obtaining an Annullment. My civil divorce was final in March of 2000. The annullment process is a very slow, unmoving process, 1 1/2 years in process now. My Deacon has mentioned that it would be granted on the grounds of immaturity and marrying while presenting/offering himself under false pretenses. My ex-husband also did not contribute to the divorce hearings or to the Annullment process, I am told that this is ok as the process will continue without him. I hope and pray the process will not be so long for you. Therefore, begin soon. It is best to get this process out of the way, you never know what the future holds and it would be frustrating seeking an Annullment, and begin the whole process sometime down the road. The sooner you start the better. Good luck!

-- Donna Doporto (doporto45@hotmail.com), July 17, 2001.

Jmj

I agree with your recommendations, Donna.
One observation, if I may ... You wrote: "My Deacon has mentioned that it would be granted on the grounds of immaturity and marrying while presenting/offering himself under false pretenses."
It was not really appropriate for the deacon to offer these thoughts to you even as an opinion, and much less as a certainty ["it would be granted ..."]. The deacon is not in a position to predict what will happen within the tribunal's work. He and you would feel terrible if his prediction were to prove to be in error. I recommend that you suggest that he keep his opinion to himself when he helps other petitioners in the future.

God bless you.
John

-- (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), July 17, 2001.


It breaks my heart to read these comments and see the turmoil it creates in people,as they apeal to other humans to have their experiences validated. I understand the need for a court to rule on a divorce for legal reasons, but for the purpose of an organized religion or belief system that is based on Jesus Christ - who are we to rule whether a marriage is "valid" in the eyes of God?! The bible is very clear that our God is a sovereign God. He is the only one who can make this determination - NOT man. This includes those in "authority" within the Catholic Church. Regardless of whether an annulment is granted or denied, the true knowledge of whether of a marriage is "valid" in the eyes of God is between those in the marriage and God himself. I mean no disrespect, but any religious organization who claims to have the authority to rule on such a subject, is dangerously close to oversteeping the bounds of the Bible and the Word of God Himself. Please hear me when I say that I wish the peace and comfort that can only be found through Jesus Christ to all those suffering in turmoil and broken marriages. God promises in the Book of Isiah that he will restore all that the locusts have eaten. And in Ezekiel that he will give you a new heart and spirit. He will restore all that is broken and hurting within you, and give you peace in heart and mind. All you have to do is ask - He will meet you wherever you are. He longs to hold you in His arms and comfort you!

-- Joanne Wisdom (joannewisdom197@msn.com), February 20, 2002.

Miss Wisdom:
When the last day is here, the hearts of all men and women will be exposed, and perhaps some divorcees and adulterers will in fact find mercy. You are correct, God is the ultimate authority.

But Jesus Christ speaks for God; He is God. His unequivocal words were, ''What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'' He flatly said divorce and remarriage were an act of adultery, which is a mortal sin.

The Church doesn't decide what a marriage must be; whether it will be holy, or unholy. The Church cannot dissolve a matrimony. The Church merely considers whether the SACRAMENTAL marriage has actually been acceptable in God's eyes. If it was not, for whatever the reason, then it declares the absence of a true bond of matrimony. The two parties are free to contract a matrimony with others. This is in keeping with the strict admonition of Jesus Christ, to those who would dissolve a marriage. If you feel qualified to tell Christ He's *overstepping the bounds of the Bible and the Word of God,* you have more nerve than the Catholic Church ever had. But, I know that's not your intention. I say it for emphasis; ''What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.''

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), February 20, 2002.



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