I awoke today in a horrible way. For no reason, my head was filled with Ricky Nelson's Carden Party. It's been two hours and it won't go away. I can't stand it much longer.

Any ideas? Banging my head on the wall does not work. What did I do to deserve this?

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), August 18, 2001

Answers

Find an oldies station Lars. You might be able to replace it with Travelin Man. It's not nearly as profound, and easier to shake off.

-- KoFE (your@town.USSA), August 18, 2001.

You think you got problems?! Try not thinking of Patti Page's Doggie in the Window.

-- (Mick Jagger@ah can't get no.satisfackshun), August 18, 2001.

You had to bring up Doggie in the Window; well, alrighty then....

"......she says she believes in Robin Hood and brotherhood, and colors of green and grey..... ..and all you can do is laugh at her! Doesn't anyone know how to pray!?

Arizona, take off your Indian braids! Arizona, hey, woncha come my way?

-- KoFE (your@town.USSA), August 18, 2001.

Trailers for sale or rent, rooms to let fifty cents

No phone, no pool, no pets, I ain't got no cigarettes Ah but, two hours of pushin' broom buys a

Eight by twelve four-bit room

I'm a man of means by no means, king of the road .........

Hope that helps!!

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), August 18, 2001.

Baby, baby it looks like it's gonna hail
Baby, baby it' looks like it's gonna hail
You better come inside
Let me teach you how to jive and wail

You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail away!

Papa's in the icebox lookin' for a can of ale
Papa's in the icebox lookin' for a can of ale
Mama's in the backyard learning how to jive and wail

You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail away!

A woman is a woman and a man ain't nothin' but a male
A woman is a woman and a man ain't nothin' but a male
One good thing about him
He knows how to jive and wail

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail
Jill stayed up, she wants to learn how to jive and wail

You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail
You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail away!

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), August 18, 2001.

Thanks you guys, now I'll be afraid to ever sleep again.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 18, 2001.

hey i thought poppa was looking for a can 'o ham LOL =)

-- (cin@cin.cin), August 18, 2001.

It is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend, somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they continue singing forever just because it is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on.......

-- Cherri (jessam6@home.com), August 18, 2001.

Cherri, NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo........

-- helen (the@song.never.ends), August 18, 2001.

Unk, for some reason, whenever I hear that Louis Prima song, I can't get these alternate lyrics out of my head . . .

You da drunk driver . . . then you go to jail drunk driver . . . then you go to jail drunk driver . . . then you go to jail drunk driver . . . then you go to jail drunk driver . . . then you go to ja-a-a-ail!

I never drink and drive, but for some reason, those lyrics pop unbidden into my head. Perhaps by telling you, they will now leave my skull and take up residence in yours. :)

-- Already Done Happened (oh.yeah@it.did.com), August 18, 2001.

I'm really sorry for this folks(snicker)------

And you light up my life

You give me hope, to carry on

You light up my days

And fill my nights with song

You, You light up my life

You give me hope to carry on

You light up my days

And fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong, when it feels so right 'Cause you, you light up my life.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 18, 2001.

Oh yea? Take this Lars -

Last night, I waved goodbye, now it seems years I'm back in the city, where nothin' is clear But thoughts of me, holdin' you, bringin' us near

And tell me When will our eyes meet? When can I touch you? When will this strong yearnin' end? And when will I hold you again?

Time in New England, took me away Long rocky beaches and you by the bay We started a story whose end must now wait...

-- Debra (Thisis@it.com), August 18, 2001.

In a little while from now,
If I'm not feeling any less sour.
I promised myself, I'd treat myself,
And visit a nearby tower ..........
And climbing to the top,
I'd throw myself off,
In an effort to, make clear to whoever,
What it's like when your shattered .......
Standing in a lurch,
In a church with people saying .....
My God, that's tough, she stood him up,
No point in us remaining .......
I may as well go home,
I decided on my own,
Alone again, naturally.
and so on and so on.....

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), August 18, 2001.

Lars, consider yourself lucky, it coulda been

Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon,
You come and go, you come and go-o-o-o-o

LOL !! How I love to hate bad songs!

(I kinda do like Alone Again Naturally, though.)

-- Debbie (dbspence@pobox.com), August 18, 2001.

Dead shunk in the middle of the road....

-- Cherri (jessam6@home.com), August 18, 2001.

For you, Unk:

As I reach for a peach
Slide a line down behind a sofa in San Tropez
Breaking a stick with a brick on the sand
Riding a wave in the wake of an old sedan
Sleeping alone in the drone of the darkness
Scratched by the sand that fell from my love
Deep in my dreams and I still hear her calling
If you're alone, I'll come home

Backward and homebound, the pigeon, the dove
Gone with the wind and the rain on an airplane
Born in a home with no silver spoon
I'm drinking champagne like a good tycoon
Sooner than wait for a break in the weather
I'll gather my far flung thoughts together
Speeding away on a wind to a new day
If you're alone, I'll come home

And I'll pause for a while by a country stile
And listen to the things they say
Digging for gold in a hole in my hand
Open the book, take a look at the way things stand
And you're leading me down to the place by the sea
I hear your soft voice calling to me
Making a date for later by phone
And if you're alone, I'll come home

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), August 18, 2001.

yknow it's a tie for most annoying song between....

heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another you were messin around take it on the run baby if thats the way you want it baby then i dont want you around...

and...

im all out of love im so lost without you i know you were right believing for so long im all out of love what am i without you i cant be too late to say that i was so wrong...

typed in run-on fashion to simulate the full annoying effect that these songs have on me

-- (cin@cin.cin), August 18, 2001.

no WAIT now ive really got it

her name was lola, she was a showgirl

his name rico, he wore a diamond

his name was chachi ...um um um ....i forget

at the copa copa cabana

the hottest spot north of havana... dont fall in love

HA take that =) heehee

-- (cin@cin.cin), August 18, 2001.

I don't care if it rains of freezes

I got me a Plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car.......

-- Sing (ItLoud@Twang.com), August 19, 2001.

cin,

One night as I was driving somewhere....not important where...anyway, I came up to a red light and stopped. Along side me pulled up one nicely dressed out Harley, with a very large and highly tatooed biker type at the helm. His radio was turned up quite loud, and what to my astonished ears hear?

"at the Copa, Copa Cabana..."

I nearly crapped myself trying not to laugh!

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), August 19, 2001.

Oh, btw, thank you Pammy. That is my very favorite Pink Floyd tune.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), August 20, 2001.

I left a good job in the city -

working for the man every night and day -

but I never lost one minute of sleep

worrying 'bout the way things might have been.

Big wheel keep on turning.

Proud Mary keep on burning.

Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river...

-- Break out the cookies and milk (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), August 20, 2001.

"We skipped the light fandango turned cartwheels 'cross the floor I was feeling kinda seasick but the crowd called out for more The room was humming harder as the ceiling flew away When we called out for another drink the waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later as the miller told his tale that her face, at first just ghostly, turned a whiter shade of pale"

-- Little Pig (littlepig@brickhouse.huffnpuff), August 22, 2001.

MacArthurPark--what's the deal with the cake out in the rain?

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 22, 2001.

The cake? We'll never have the recipe again! Oh, nooooooooo!

-- Break out the cookies and milk (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), August 22, 2001.