Need your input! (Cattle - General) : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread

Settle a discussion between me and my wife! We have been discussing why a cow pie has wrinkles on it? I say it is from the long fall to the ground! My wife says it is because of the sudden stop! Which do you think?

-- Russell Hays (, August 23, 2001


Response to Need your input!

Too funny!! I have to side with your wife, but could it be caused from settling once on the ground???? What a question!!

-- Pamela Hood (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

Both! Haha, this should maybe be under You may be a homesteader if!! Who else would even think of such a thing?

-- mary (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

Russ, I would suspect it also has something to do with the uh - er, viscosity of the excrement. Fresh grass in the springtime can turn them pies into "instantly spread" manure. Now those things get their formation from a sudden stop, I would say.

Thanks for the laugh!

-- daffodyllady (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

what if its wrinkled AS it comes out ???????? Wonder if it has anything to do with the Moon ???

-- stan (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

stan, you mean as in the cow jumped over the moon........longer drop?? ;>)

-- diane (, August 23, 2001.

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Ohhh you guys! I'm laughing like crazy! I'll think of you all everytime I see a cow pie!

-- Ardie from you-know-where (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

It all depends on your cow's astrological sign, and the alignment of the planets. Jeez, don't you people know anything???? :-)

-- Cheryl in KS (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

I just stumbled onto this site a couple days ago and have been reading some of the posts. You guys are sure a fun bunch! This is my kind of humor.

Russell, not having grown up around cows this was fresh information for me concerning cow pie appearances. I guess to be sure you'll have to rig up some sort of experemental cow pie dropper and do a number of tests.

Or maybe just a timely, watchful eye on the hind end of an authentic cow pie dropper will provide the answer you and your wife are looking for in order to regain the temporarily lost marital harmony in your home.

Persoanlly, I concur with the viscosity theory, but I have no intention of testing it out. ;-)

-- Nancy in Maine (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

Maybe we can get a gooberment grant to study about your extra homestead income

-- Grant (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

Ron (hubby is our cow pie expert) says, it all depends on the height of the cow. If the cow was 15' tall or standing on a tall building, there would be no wrinkles. Actaully, Ron is not an expert, he is just full of 'it'.

-- Belle (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

I say I wish I had THAT much time on MY hands!!! LOL Too funny - Thanks for the laugh. I needed it today! :o)

-- Greenthumbelina (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

I'd say it has something to do with velocity...

But if you want to check this out I'm sure there is some grant $$$ around somewhere for further 'digging' .

Which leads to another question - If your cow is in zero gravity, would there be wrinkles upon completion of the 'final push' ? Or would the mass form a nice smooth sphere and just hang there in space ?

I think I can see a PhD in 'Research of Bovine Excretement in a Zero Gravity Environment' as a possibility.

Isn't science wonderful .... ?


-- j (, August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

Gees, I'm eating my lunch and browsing this post!! I've lost my appetite.

-- DWIGHT (SUMMIT1762@AOL.COM), August 23, 2001.

Response to Need your input!

Actually, it has to do with viscosity. If you fed the cow nothing but metamucil laced with cornstarch and arrowroot, the pies would look like the soft ice cream cones, with a bit of a swirl and maybe 4' tall. Were you to put them on intervenous liquid diet, they would conform to the landscape, being only 1/8th inch tall. You are feeding them silly stuff, such as grass. Grass reaches its own level, and the reason for the wrinkles has to do with the uneveness and varying permeability of the substrate. Should you feed an even diet, and allow them to drop upon an impervious surface, such as concrete or a cast iron pan, you would find them very uniform, much like well prepared pancakes. However, should you attempt this experiment, I suggest you have a very close control so as not to confuse the 2, especially if done at breakfast time. GL!

-- Brad (, August 23, 2001.

Hey Brad, Have you already received a grant to study this? If you have then I won't bother applying for one.

-- Russell Hays (, August 23, 2001.

And to further this question, when a cow pie hits the ground and no one is there, does it make a sound?

-- Sheryl in Me (, August 23, 2001.

It is according to the age of the bovine. A very aged cow or bull would be the owners of the wrinkled, gnarly patties, while the younger heifers and cows would expell much more soft, younger looking, radiant, wrinkle free patties.

-- Cindy in KY (, August 23, 2001.

what a hoot! You guys (and gals) have been in the sun too long, haven't ya'll? This has got to be the best debate on the forum! thanks, ya'll for the chuckles

-- yancee in tx (, August 23, 2001.

If it was the long fall to the ground, those large horses would have the same type of droppings, which they don't. If it was the sudden stop, the Chihuahua's droppings would be the same, which they aren't.

I think you guys are right ~ we need a government grant to study this.

-- ~Rogo (, August 24, 2001.

I agree with Grant and Rogo; it is obvious the "gubbamint" has got to get involved. To make the study scientific, I propose that cows be sent up on the space shuttles to study the effects of 'turds in space' in zero gravity. Think of all the advances of scientific data. First turd in orbit. . . most consecutive . . . first turds on the moon (nouns, not adjectives) I mean c'mon the advances are endless in scope. Of course, with all scientific advances,there will be setbacks.

Houston, we have a problem . . . Bossy is constipated. Yeah we already tried that. Cod liver oil, vegetable oil, Love Boat reruns, we tried everything. I knew she would give us problems; she kept on giving 'dry heaves' during the gravity free fall in the plane. NASA's gonna be pissed. We're gonna try threats next; we will attach a steak to the outside and skip across the atmosphere; that oughta stimulate gastro intestinal action. Over.

-- j.r. guerra (, August 24, 2001.

Mmmmooooo ... uuuhhhhh ...**PLOP** Nope wrinkles ... darn liquid diet anyway :-P!

-- Phil in KS (, August 25, 2001.

In that space experiment, they will be moon pies right?

-- Joan (, August 25, 2001.

It depends on the amount of protein in the feed. Green grass - a compared to dried grass - and higher protein hay will produce a more liquid manure. Bulls and heifers tend to have more solid manure unless they are fed the higher protein feed.

-- Dan (, August 25, 2001.

It must surely be the wind, hence the term wrinkles from the wind.

-- jim phillips (, August 25, 2001.

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