Kellog's Cornflake Massacre

The story I'm about to tell you, The tale I'm bound to relate, Describes the evil of one terrifying, Psychotic Kellog's cornflake.

It awoke early one morning, Inside someone's breakfast bowl, Sentience coursed through the flake, This cereal had a soul.

As the milk began pouring, The flake leapt for its life, It landed on the kitchen table, And took off with the butter knife.

Its tortured soul was angry, "HOW DARE THEY TRY TO EAT ME!!!!" So it sharpened that butter knife to a point, And set off on a killing spree.

The cornflake was merciless, In its crazed, insane rampage, Woman nor child, young nor old, No one was spared its rage.

It massacred the army, The air force, the navy too, Even nukes couldn't get rid of the flake, There was nothing Mankind could do.

Just as it began to look like, Humanity's lights were dimmed, Someone tried a crazy notion, And drowned the flake in semi-skimmed.

The cornflake screamed as it melted, Under gallons and gallons of milk, Now these days we keep a supply of semi, In case there's ever another of its ilk!

http://www.geocities.com/grubbymitts

-- Grubbymitts (simon_tinsley@hotmail.com), August 24, 2001