QUICK!!! Somebody throw a bucket of water on me and drag me away from the computer.

Last week I finally let the missus talk me into looking at ebay auctions. Now, you’d think she’d know better. I’ve always been an antique kind of guy (that’s interest, not age, Gayla), and I am just a sucker for a good auction.

Well, you know what happened. We been scroungin’ little chalk figures out of antique stores along the gulf coast for fifteen years. They were made in England by a company named “Bossons”, and are referred to in the trade as Bossons heads. They are about the size of a open hand and are intricately detailed 3D portraits of men, women, horses, dogs, birds, and other nifty things.

Like I said, we been huntin’ them for years, and had about a dozen, mostly pirates and Arab sheiks and such. The detail is wonderful and the poses are fantastic on these guys. They are cast from chalk and hand painted with exquisite eyes and skin. The company went out of business in 1996 (since 1946, I think), and since the figures are so fragile, they are becoming hard to find in pristine shape. They also don’t cost a whole lot, so folks are not overly cautious with them, like say, the Star of India, or Ming vases.

Anyway, I opened my particular Pandora’s box over at ebay, and have bought about a half-dozen of the little characters so far, with bids on another 15 or so. You just click on the payment button, which bills your credit card, so it’s not like you’re REALLY spending any money, you see. The first one I bought was from a guy in Oz. No foolin’ - in Australia; just think of that!

I’m starting to slow down a little now, though. My hands have stopped shaking, and I went in and shaved just now for the first time in four days. (I swear, it’s shameful how the missus has let the dishes pile up around the computer. If it wasn’t for the dog, they’d all still be dirty.)

But, like I say, I’m OK now.

By the way, did you know that you can get some other really essential stuff there, too. Like old boat lights, and Icart prints, and bone handled pocketknives, and Japanese netsuke, and Marilyn Monroe photos, and Art Deco nude lamps, and......and......... I’ll.........uh.......I’ll...... be....... back later...............

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), August 31, 2001

Answers

Hey Lon: Now you're speaking my language! I started selling on eBay almost 2 years ago (yes, right toward the end-of-the-world-as-we-knew- it) and have a ball at it! I'm always astounded at what people want to buy. I collect miniature Dragonware pieces myself and could never find any around my area. eBay usually has three or four pages of the stuff listed! Even now, when I'm supposed to be tucked in bed fast asleep, I'm up checking my auctions to see who's bid on what. Kinda reminds me of fishing. My auctions are like juglines bobbing in the water and my job is to bait them with such good descriptions that people can't resist biting!

Well, now you've gotten me started! BTW, if I haven't ever told you, I enjoy your posts. Especially the reminiscences (sp?). Your post on fishing took me back 35 years(!)to a little stream in Louisiana with my Nanny and her bamboo cane pole. In my mind's eye I saw the little minnows darting around again and Nanny flinging little perch ("heads and holes" as she so eloquently put it) up on the bank- what a gift to be able to relive that time. Thanks! Say hey to the missus and Kit for me, will you? I think fondly of Kit whenever I see my friend Derek.

-- LindaMc (jmcintyre@mmcable.com), September 01, 2001.

Hey Linda! It's just after eight, and I've already been checking my bids for an hour. That's OK, though, because I only stayed up till 2 am last night doing the same!

It is fun, though, isn't it? Not as much as actually meeting folks and going to their stores, but exciting just the same. Yesterday I bid on an original Maxfield Parrish and a signed Icart. I like the authentic Deco art stuff, but never have time to find it (until ebay). I also bought an antique bouy lantern and a little old boat's wheel. I have a lot of old nautical stuff, and they will look great in the new house next year.

Thanks for the compliments on the snapshots. I'm glad they bring back memories so fond. But just stay put today, because the bayou is comin' to ya! Six days of rain now, and they're calling for another 2 inches today, with more through Monday. It's been raining pretty good for the last 18 hours straight. I sure hope Gayla's got her water wings on!

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 01, 2001.

Ladies, we need to call an "intervention" on Lon...

-- helen (we@love.you.so.stop.it), September 01, 2001.

WHOA BABY! DON'T STOP ME NOW!!

I just got a wonderful 20's era Deco ceiling light in creme and blue. Just right for the little library area of the new house next year.

I note with some remorse, however, that I missed out on the brass mounted wart hog tooth. :-(

Did I happen to mention that the missus is away for the weekend. Won't she be pleased when she gets back and finds about what I did!!!!

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 01, 2001.

Lon: Step right up; today's your lucky day! I just happen to have a brass mounted wart hog tooth in stock! (I was going to say I have a brass mounted wart hog tooth myself but I figured Robert Cook would have a heyday with that!)

If you're interested in the tooth, just let me know and I'll list it right away!

-- LindaMc (just joshin ya@gain.com), September 02, 2001.

Gee thanks, Linda.

But I gotta ask. How often have you used the line, "Why don't you come up and see my wart hog tooth sometime"? Or, "Hey sailor, wanna see my wart hog tooth?" Or, or.."Honey I'm home, and have I got a wart hog tooth for you!".

I mean, the possibilities are endless: At your next power lunch, "I'd get the check, but all I have is a wart hog tooth", or an announcement by the preacher on Sunday morning, "And let us all remember Sister Mac this week; she has a wart hog tooth".

Or the one I just know you would all use, "Not tonight, Honey, I have a wart hog tooth."

But the missus is due back anytime now, and I don't know how she'd take it if another woman offered me a little wart hog tooth. So maybe we better keep the whole thing just between us, OK.

I gotta go get a shovel now and clean up the kitchen before she gets home.

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 02, 2001.

Breaking news! Breaking news......

She has a brass-mounted warthog tooth currently in stock!

(Detales at 11:00. Denews at 10:00. Delights at 9:00.)

---...---...---

What stock is the brass-mounted warthog tooth stuck in?

Cows, pigs, sheep? Chickens?

Heaven forbid......mules??

(Why are you going around biting mules?)

Hmmmmn. Inquiring minds want to know.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), September 04, 2001.

Lon! Stop!

Remember you need to have $$ to come up to Banff next summer! You can't spend it all on EBay... I'll cry and you'll end up with more rain down there Blub, blub

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), September 06, 2001.

Are we going to Banff?

-- helen (well@are.we), September 06, 2001.

Well, technically we're supposed to be going somewhere underneath Braniff, since the destination where Tricia is to be tied upside to the ceiling fan in her birthday suite is due west of Calgary ... and the land kinda goes goes uphill .......

By the way, can we still by warthog tooth stock .... since the price is going downhill too?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), September 07, 2001.

I don't know about wart hog tooth stocks, but the conversation is certainly going downhill...

-- helen (new@lows.ahead), September 07, 2001.

Downhill?

So are moist of the stocks the warthog invested his tooth in ......

Glad I went into bonds heavily in late winter of 1999. Nuf said.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), September 10, 2001.

A comment. We were at one of our favorite buying spots and I noticed a boxed aggregate of miniature chalk figures :very miniature. All about 1x1 inches. possibly 50 -60 and since we were buying swedish glass. I only gave them serious curiosity. After leaving. It is Saturday night and store closed. When I began search on pc came up with over 74.000 entrries. Any possible input?

-- Elfrieda Berther (aaronrehab@milwpc.com), January 25, 2003.

A comment. We were at one of our favorite buying spots and I noticed a boxed aggregate of miniature chalk figures :very miniature. All about 1x1 inches. possibly 50 -60 and since we were buying swedish glass. I only gave them serious curiosity. After leaving. It is Saturday and store closed. When I began search on pc came up with over 74.000 entrries. Any possible input?

-- Elfrieda Berther (aaronrehab@milwpc.com), January 25, 2003.

Hmmmmmmmmn.

I'd think twice about gettin' that final 74.001 entry though.

Seems like .001 of a figure is awfully small....... 8<)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (cook.r@watchLondrinking.glug), January 25, 2003.