I have spent most of the day feeling very depressed. So depressed that it felt really physical...you know, not just feeling blue or anything. I'm still feeling grounded in the world, but *profoundly* sad, lacking energy, and can't even bring myself to cry. I try to remember to breathe deeply instead of shallowly, but that's about as far as I can get to managing this state.

Anyway, this will pass, but...

I am starting a new job that requires me to be there for 35+ hours a week. Mr. S. is back at school and has 17 credits. I know we will not be able to keep up with the chores around here very well...that is, the animals should be fine; we'll have food on the table, but we will be stressed and the place will start to look like crack-heads live here or something! I'm not sure that's really the reason why I'm bummed, though, but it's as good a hook to hang this feeling on as any.

Sheesh....what a winer. I know I should count my blessings, but I'm just not up for it.

Got any suggestions? Maybe listen to old Beatles tunes or something? (Although I'm too wiped out to go dig around in the garage for LPs.)

Thanks for any ideas. I know some of you have been here, done this...

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Answers

Gee I was doing pretty good then last week the bottom fell out for me too. All I want to do is sleep. This is the 1st time in a week I've been on the puter or watched t.v. Other folks say they have a hard time sleeping but thats all I seem to do right now! ....Kirk

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Hey guys don't feel lonely they are saying that practically everyone in America is going through this right now, Love and Prayers, TRen

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

We're there right now too. Nothing to do with world events, but because we're simply trying to do too much, a lot of which is stuff we don't even want to do. The house looks like **** and the animals (and kids!) are not getting nearly the attention they need.

I think it's also a depressing time in the garden, realising that we didn't do nearly as well as we'd planned (again, for the same reason). The changing seasons will hopefully uplift us as we get back into the woods and prepare for winter.

What always helps us is to give up on the major projects for a while and make a list of gratifying or almost finished (usually non- essential) projects that can be easily tackled and completed, giving a sense of achievement. It especially helps to complete a project that clears away a pile of materials that has been sitting around waiting for a long while! Hope this helps.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Sheepish......I hear ya...I try to do something that nutures me,like fill up the old clawfoot,light alot of candles put on some real relaxing stuff and chill.When my boys went back to school from homeschooling we could'nt manage all the stock ,so we cut back to "essential services"They cut and stack wood after school.I really have to pace myself I set myself up for discouragement cuz I take on more than I can handle.If you are more "blue" in over cast muggy weather,you may have yeast in your blood it exhausts me and I avoid sugars and quick carbs at that time.I've been on anti depresants years ago,and now I take st.johns wort when I need it(usually in deep winter)If I lived close I would come and tidy up for you!!!!I have wonderful friends that I call when I get in too deep...This too shall pass....peace teri

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I don't know if it will help you all right now, but it helps me to know that the stars are in very depressing and even suisidal signs right now. It just helps me knowing that the mood I am in might not be all my own doing and isn't something that I nessasarly have to undo. When I realize that that is just the way things are right now, then I can just hold on and wait it out. The stars are going to be in the state that they are, untill about the second week of October I believe. Love TRen

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Here's one of my favorite stories from Barbara Sher's ITS ONLY TOO LATE IF YOU DONT START NOW:

When my son was living in Italy, he had a friend named Peitro. One day Pietro was commenting on Americans and their to-do lists. He said, "You, Mateo, like all Americans, put down many things on your list, and all the day long you try very hard to do them, and you cross them off one by one. But at night, when you go to sleep, always there are some things left on your list, so you are a failure!

"I wake up, and I have only one thing on my list. Today I go to visit my friend Mateo. I take a shower and dress myself. I drink a cup of coffee. I buy a good bottle of wine and take the bus to the house of my friend. We spend a very good afternoon. We talk, perhaps we walk. At night I go home and cross this thing off my list, and when I go to sleep, I am a success!

Something to think about anyway.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Really good ideas and things to think about. Thanks, everyone. I may try some or all (can't manage the stars, though, Tren!) It is also comforting to know that I'm not alone. Kirk, I hope you are doing better, too.

Maybe I'll just take that bottle of wine over to Pietro's... :-)

I think David's right, too... this time of year always seems to be a "hurry up" time, with harvest, getting ready for winter, and saying goodbye to all the daylight.

One thing that I did find helpful was "kitty therapy." Just petting one of my five cats (and sometimes many of them) was really soothing.

Thanks again.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Mateo's! Whatever... Teri, I may just cut and stack the wood myself some today. I usually like that. I enjoy the engineering of setting up stacks. Thanks for the reminder!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Yeah, I like Earthmamas advice. I occasionally get bummed, but I got a young son that brings me out real fast.

Instead of dwelling on things not accomplished or still in the air, focus more on what you have done. I know it sounds trite, but you are still alive, and change is just around the corner. This too shall pass.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

For an alternative medicine suggestion, try taking organic Kava Kava at the maximum dose for a week or two and see if that helps you as much as it does for me. When my ancient housecat had to be put down in January, I was in a total "blue funk" for months, and Kava brought me back into the "land of the living" again.

If that doesn't work, go to the Humane Society and rescue a very young kitten, nothing, absolutely nothing, will cheer you up more than a baby kitten!!!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I dunno...I think a beagle pup runs a close second to kitties!!!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Sheepish, I forgot to say congrats on the vet job, at least it will be a learning experience, boy, you can pick up alot of useful information around a vet's office! Is he/she large, or small animal vet? Or both?

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2001

Small animals, large hospital. I started my first day there today. Sheesh...talk about a lot of stuff to do!!! The animals were the best part, but so were the people. So much to remember, though. And I'm an old dog and these are new tricks!!

There is still some large animal work being done, but hey, the biz is in the pet category. I hope to learn a lot, no kidding! I won't have time to be depressed!!

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2001

I find that my sunroom and UV light wall help me during the low sunlight months. Indoor plants are a positive also.

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2001

Jay, Mr. S. made me a new plant shelf for my indoor plants. He finished it just the other day. Timely, then, eh? I love my indoor plants, esp. in the dark days.

Thanks, everyone.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

Sheepish, congrats on your new job; way cool. My son's a vet, and loves animals, but gets frustrated with some of the owners' attitudes, and actions. Used to, anyway; now he's a big shot for Novartis, so he works with people exclusively.

Is this depression a continuing event? Is there a possibility of clinical depression? If so, it's getting relatively easy to treat.

Write me off the forum if you want. Do you still have my "real email"address? (jumpoff@echoweb.net)

JOJ

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001

JOJ, yup, I think I saved it. Thanks! I'll try to connect with you this weekend. We will be gone Sat and busy on Sunday, but somewhere in there, I know I'll be online. ttyl.

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001

My guinea pigs are very perplexed (and put out) that I've been picking them up and walking around the house hugging them a lot lately. In lieu of the cheer of a Budgie, or a dog for the time being, their fat, squishy little bodies are having to fill in and take up the slack in 'critter therapy' around here.

One of them responded to this new addition to their job description by peeing on me. Oh well, he DID try and warn me about the problem ahead of time...("wee-wee-wee-wee..") guess I just didn't understand!

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001