Obnoxious Things Boys Say

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I am, shall we say, a "nicely rounded" individual. Having six babies in twelve years did not greatly enhance my figure. Recently, someone gave me a very nice, stylish raincoat, the kind you wear for best. I took the wrappings off and held up its hour-glass shape for the family to see. My almost 12 year old said, "Nice, Mom! Now all you need is a corset!!"

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 26, 2001

Answers

Cathy, when our son was born his head passed through just fine. Unfortunately, his shoulders, even at birth, were wide and they actually broke his Mother's pelvis during delivery. I tell you that so I can tell you this. Years later, anytime he was in trouble for anything he'd hear, "I went to the jaws of death to have you and now you do this!" Maybe your son needs to learn how much it takes to bring someone into this world.

On another note, the "jaws of death" line became somewhat of a running gag in the household, unbeknownst to his Mom. One day he came in late for dinner after having been out playing basketball all day with some friends. He was so dead tired he could barely walk. Of course, his Mom starts with something like, "What time were you supposed to be home?" and he just looks over and says, "Yeah, yeah... 'jaws of death...' I know" and keeps heading to the shower. I broke out laughing uncontrollably.

The good news was he wasn't in trouble any more. The bad news was the one in trouble now was ME!

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), October 26, 2001.


Sounds like its time to retire that "guilt trip".

-- mitch hearn (moopups@citlink.net), October 27, 2001.

Hi everyone. As I've said befor my son says things that literally want to make you crawl under a rock!

He likes to work out on the weights with his Dad listening to Rocky music. He can do 52 one arm push-ups without stopping (before he broke his arm). His gym teacher said he is one of the strongest little kids she has ever seen and calls other teachers in to watch him do this! He really is tough! Keeping this in mind I'll tell you the rest of the story, and my face is turning red as I write.

We were at a relations of my husbands when they were leveling up a spot to put in their pool. It was hot, the ground was hard and everyone was tired. Brady however was digging away (he was 6 yrs.old) His cousin (12 years old) was wandering around, when his Dad said to him to start digging too. he said he didn't have any shoes to put on so he couldn't dig!! Brady, still swinging his mattock and sweating up a storm, said "Just go over there and put on those girl shoes, you act like a girl anyways", and KEPT RIGHT ON DIGGING!!!!!! Could I have died right on the spot?????? YES, YES, YES. Of course I explained to him not to say these kinds of things, OH, Wow. At least the parents thought it was funny...

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 27, 2001.


Once when my son was three or four years old, we were at the grocery store when then a rather overweight lady rolled down the asle in an electric wheelchair. My son was and still is fasinated with any type of mechanical device so he was drawn to her wheel chair and started asking her questions about it. The lady was really nice and said she didn't mind and showed him how to operate it. I got my items and pulled him away to go to the next section. As we were leaving he piped up in a voice I felt the entire store could hear and said "Mommy, is that lady in a wheelchair because she's so fat?"

-- Kelly in Ky (ksaderholm@yahoo.com.), October 27, 2001.

Girls have their moments too.

-- Cindy (S.E.IN) (atilrthehony@countrylife.net), October 27, 2001.


Cindy, my 13 year old likes your comment. Care to elaborate?

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 27, 2001.

I should have said "13 year old SON".

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 27, 2001.

My mother was always after my brother and myself to 'keep clean'. One day, when my brother was a youngster, mom took him with her to the grocery store. My brother was sitting in the seat of the shopping cart. Mom got to the end of the aisle and stepped around, leaving the cart there for just a moment, to check out what was on the end of the aisle. Just then, a man who was obviously a painter (wearing his paint splattered clothes) walked down the aisle. Seeing my brother with his dimpled cheeks and crystal blue eyes, the man smiled and reached out ruffling my brother's blonde hair. My brother then proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs, "MOM! A DIRTY MAN IS TOUCHING ME!" Luckily, the man and my mom got a good laugh out of it!

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), October 27, 2001.

Hey mom, Cindy, I do not I am a perfect angel.

-- mindy (speciallady@countrylife.net), October 29, 2001.

You must be talking about my sisters there the trouble makers.

-- mindy (speciallady@countrylife.net), October 29, 2001.


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