Humor

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MY HUSBAND AND I heard a man pounding on the door to the hotel room next to ours and shouting, "Honey, open the door! Let me in!" After five minutes of this noise, my husband went out in the hallway and asked, "Is everything okay?" "I locked myself out of the room," the man replied. "I think my wife's in the shower and can't hear me." My husband invited him in to use our telephone to call his wife. The man dialed his room. "It's ringing now," he said. "She'll let me in, and I can leave you folks in peace." Through the wall we could hear the phone ringing next door. After four rings, we heard the man's wife yell, "Honey! Answer the phone!"

One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said.

"Officer you can't give me a ticket for that!"

"Why not" said the officer.

"Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same."

"But you did not stop" replied the officer, and the sign says STOP."

"But the way was clear and it was safe" replied the motorist.

The officer then pulls out his baton and starts hitting the motorist's car.

"What are you doing!" yells the motorist in surprise.

"Do you want me to slow down or stop?" says the officer.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

Answers

A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20 mph for it to start.

She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions.

AS CAPTAIN of a nature cruise off Florida's Key Largo, I was describing the color changes that brown pelicans undergo. "The young pelicans are all brown," I explained. "During courtship the backs of their necks turn chestnut. After courtship the chestnut turns to white, giving them an all-white head and neck. Birders call this 'postnuptial plumage.'" "Bernie," said an elderly woman to her white-haired husband, "that explains what happened to you." -- Contributed to Reader's Digest "All In a Day's Work" by Anne F. Baxter

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-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001


I got to giggling so hard at these and the viagra to find bin Laden that I work the husband up out of his chair napping. I love your humor almost as well as I love news!!!

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

make that woke..........guess it's time for bed. night- night

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

I had this vision of you "working" him up... now you spoiled it :(

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

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