Just some thoughts, My husband and I have been married 55 years, how we ever made it is beyound me. Tonight I was loading the dishwasher, and he said I was putting the dishes in wrong, How does he know, he never does it. I fold his levis one way, He wants them another. I said fine you fold them.Now my checking account is something else, I just put the balance in that the bank says I should have, He says why don"t you look for your error. And I said what for, they are right. When I clean the house, I usually walk 40 miles, I take something to one room, and then pick up something to another,He says gather everything up at once, and make one trip. I think with the left brain, and he thinks right brain. He is all logic, and that doesn"t compute to me. How does it work in your house. Love Irene

-- Irene texas (tkorsborn@cs.com), November 25, 2001

Answers

Hello Irene, I think it works about the same in our household too. Don't worry, be happy! But, you should check your bank account for errors. I have found that banks do make mistakes. When they can not prove that the error is yours they usually will give you the amount that is in question. Its always worth a try to find their mistake as it will keep your money yours!

Sincerely,

Ernest

-- http://communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks (espresso42@hotmail.com), November 25, 2001.

Isn't that the truth! Men and women don't think a like, but that is OK!

I don't really want my husband watching every little thing I do, and I'm sure he doesn't want me hovering over him either. It is better if we just each apply ourselves to the things we do best.

However sometimes we can offer constructive advice to each other. So maybe it would be wise to listen to your spouses suggestions in an objective manner, then decide of you choose to heed their counsel!

-- Melissa (me@home.net), November 25, 2001.

Hi Irene, I loved your message. My husband and I have been 35 years and like you, I sometimes wonder how we ever made it. He starts to do something he's never done before, I've done it a million times. He asks how, I tell him and he argues with me. He wants the checking account balanced to the penny, if I'm within $50 I call it to the penny, he shakes his head. There's a 100 bales of hay in the field to be picked up, drive to that one he says. I say which ones that and he points in the general direction of the one he wants. I drive to it, wrong one of course, and he wonders if I'm blind. Ah bliss, this thing called marriage! :)

-- Anna in Iowa (countryanna54@hotmail.com), November 25, 2001.

I'm constantly reminded by women in my office that when I'm giving directions I need to be aware of the gender of the person who'll be using them. Men want North, South, East and West. Women want landmarks, left and right.

Men are naturally problem-solvers (some might argue problem-creators, but that's another post).

I am reminded of my dear Mother commenting that after my Dad retired and was around the house all day that she "was amazed (she) had been keeping the house for over thirty years with nary a problem yet all those years had apparently been doing everthing wrong... cleaning wrong... vacuuming wrong..." It was shortly after that I put him to work for me to get him out of the house. As is typical with guys, he tended to like embellishing and was sitting with some of he cronies one evening having coffee talking about what all he did for me. I couldn't resist chiming in and telling them all hiring him was the best thing I'd ever done. "Every week I give him a hundred dollar bill and he takes it home and gives it to my Mom. She gives it back to me to get him out of the house the next week. It's perfect!" Of course, everyone chuckled. Truth be told, I probably could have made that deal with Mom. ;o)

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), November 25, 2001.

It is MEN. Disgusting creatures. I have been married to mine for almost 28 years, and I don't know if I am going to hang in there for two more to make it to 30 or not. I definately am going to get a small cabin in the woods to run away to when I need to.

The best thing to do is just chalk it up to testosterone and smile and keep doing what you want to do.

-- Rose (open_rose@hotmail.com), November 25, 2001.

A married couple that are minister/cousellors told me that as men get older they start thinking more like women and women do just the opposite.

-- Cindy (S.E.IN) (atilrthehony@countrylife.net), November 26, 2001.

Not for nothing the Bible says God made for man a suitable helper. We supply what the other lacks, if we can admit it.

-- Randal (motivo@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.

I must be weird. My husband and I have been married 21 years, the second time around for both of us. I enjoy having him around, I enjoy his company, I am crazy in love with him and wouldn't trade it for anything. When something happens that doesn't make me so thrilled with him I try to think about what it would be like without him. He is such an important part of my life that I would probably die of loneliness. I guess instead of finding the problems you should thank God each and every day for the good points and take a good long look around you and see what it could be like! Abusive situations and etc.

-- Janice Spaulding (kenjan@nh.adelphia.net), November 26, 2001.

The thing about folding Levi's made me chuckle. We have the same running arguement!

-- Jo (mamamia2kids@msn.com), November 26, 2001.

Men think differently than us! I've watched DH many times and I have sincerely wondered! BTW, we're not being critical of them...we're simply stating facts. My DH doesn't try to tell me how to do my work because he hasn't a clue. When it comes to problem solving, women think it out and do it in logical order. Men jump right in and muddle about. And, while they are muddling, they create a bigger problem! Personally, I don't think woman was created after man. I think God created Woman first and Man out of parts He had left over!

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.

Ardie, I must disagree with you. I'm sure God made man first. Then he looked at His creation and said, "I think I can do better than that!" :-) Just a joke, folks!

In truth, I've been married for 20 years to a wonderful man. I'm more in love with him now than I was when I married him. He's my husband, my honey, and my best friend. Do we ever disagree? You betcha! But we've learned over the years how to discuss whatever problems present themselves in an open, honest way. And we've both learned that problems won't go away if you ignore them - they must be discussed and worked through. And anyway, he's cute and cries at sentimental movies! Life is good! :-)

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), November 26, 2001.

I love my husband dearly because he is everything I am not. We compliment each other. I have to admit to a bit of adjusting since he became a pastor and is home more, but I'd rather have it that way! We will be married 15 years tomorrow and hope to have many more years together. We are committed to each other for life and love each other more each day. He does not like the way I run my kitchen, and I don't like the way he does the finances. But we have learned that things like that really don't matter in the long run. We each have learned to consider the advice of the other even if we think we know better.

My dad is also a great man for my mom. They have been married 42 years. If my dad doesn't like the way his socks are folded, you know what? He never mentions it. He just quietly and cheerfully refolds them and puts them away. On the other hand, my mom has no problem folding things his way if she finds out he likes it done another way.

I have learned that our home is a lot more peaceful when we spend more time pleasing others than pleasing ourselves. As to the creation of man, we have heard it this way, and Tom has repeated it from the pulpit:

Woman was not made from man's head, to be his boss, or from his foot, to be his servant. She was made from his rib, under his arm for protection, by his side as his companion and partner, and close to his heart as lover.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), November 26, 2001.

I was not complaining about my husband, I was just stating facts. He is my best friend and I'm looking so forward to him retiring in a year and a half at 59 years old. This link started out in fun, I think, by Irene that's all it is. She and I have both been with our men long enough to not have to prove to others that we're a team, a good team actually and are in it for the long haul.

Cheers!!

-- Anna in Iowa (countryanna54@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.

Thanks Anna, I really would be lost with out my husband of 55 years, He is a good man, But when they retire, look out. You become there entertainer, When you want to go to store, They say wait a min. I will go with you. Its a whole new ball game.I should start a thread on how to live with a retired husband. Love Irene

-- Irene texas (tkorsborn@cs.com), November 26, 2001.

Oy vey! Irene, hubby plans on retiring in about 16 months!

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.

I think some people take life much too seriously!

-- Lorna Doone (lornadoone@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.

Maybe we are just lazy or something but in this house, if you make a critical comment about the way someone does a chore, then you do the chore.

We have gone through some really horrible things-unemployment, critical illnesses, a dear friend's suicide, just a lot of bad stuff. I can't even talk about our first year of marrige-you all wouldn't belive it. Now, we are at the point where Who cares what the jeans look like? We survived all these things! We are healthy and happy and theres chocolate cake for desert-life is great. We arn't going to quibble about the checkbook being balanced to the penny.

-- Kelly in Ky (ksaderholm@yahoo.com), November 26, 2001.

DH and I had a lot of these same problems -- but only after the babies came! It seemed like when I stopped working, he felt he had to "manage" us. I told him, I had a baby, I didn't lose my brain! It was funny, too, because at that time, I had a much better job with more responsibilities than he had.

It's only been in the last six months or so he's stopped this. I think it had something to do with his job -- he manages people, and I think he just got into the habit of managing EVERYONE. I think the real kicker was when we were apart this summer during the move. He saw that the kids and I "managed" just fine without him telling us what to do and how to do it. He always looks at things logically and is determined that there is a "process" to everything --and one way to do it right. I'm more of the school that there are many ways to do things, and what's the right way for me might not be the right way for someone else. This frustrates him at times -- because if we've both asked the kids to do a chore, he wants to stand over their shoulder to see it's done "right" when I think it's more important that they learn that Mom and Dad have complete faith in their abilities, and that it doesn't matter HOW it gets done, as long as it does. That, and the fact that if I'm going to stand and watch, I might as well do it myself!

But it still drives me nuts when he walks into my kitchen and starts sweeping or something. Mostly because he chooses to do it while I'm trying to do something else, then asks ME to move so he can finish!

But I love him, and appreciate him, and recognize how very much better my life is with him in it. Our children mean the world to him, and when he puts his arms around me it just FEELS right -- like there is nowhere else in the world I'm meant to be.

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.

After eons of being married, my husband and I still cannot go grocery shopping together. Since he had a forced retirement because of an accident, he started going food shopping with me about 6 years ago.What a nightmare! He stands there at the meat counter and checks the prices of ground beef time and time again and always says the same thing.."This is ridiculous pricing! The farmers are getting scalped, etc. etc. etc." He begins lecturing on the evils of modern economy and "how can you pay such prices and be content?" When I ask him if he would care to raise cattle for beef he looks at me as if I am nuts..after about two years of this, I have banished him from the supermarket..it was driving me crazy. As soon as he had to be at home, he began telling me how to clean and cook and iron and wash..so one day I went out to his workshop and began rearranging his tools. When he found me, he had a hissy fit! What on earth did I think I was doing in HIS workshop? I replied that since he spent all day in my workshop telling me what to do, it was only fair that I intrude upon his. Ah, the bliss that now exists in our home is wonderful. We go to the market together because I need a wheelchair, but once inside, he heads for the magazine rack while I zoom around on the scooter with a clerk pushing the cart. In the house, he has decided that I know how to keep it (after 32 years), and I stay 100% out of his workshop.I truly believe that the key to a good solid marriage is to realize that men and women DO look at things differently and folks need to speak up when they are uncomfortable as well as listen when the other spouse has a concern.....life is too short to allow petty quarrels to predominate the home. God bless.

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), November 26, 2001.

My wife and I definitely have some slight disagreements on how each of us does "their" things, but we have also learned when to agree to disagree and get on with it. Life is too short for "details, details". As long as it gets done, who cares how?

But man oh man could the both of us tell stories about the other . . . heeheehee.

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), November 27, 2001.