just needed to talk....

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Some of you may know this but for the others here goes it...my neighbor has cancer big time she is 33 with 2 boys one 4 one 5 and she is dieing.When all this started she fought and we all thought she would win,then it spread and spread some more till it has left her almost blind,liver failure and bed ridden,she has given up.She has always loved our big trees and told me in summer that by the time the leaves are gone she will be gone to,well there are only a few left and she was rushed to the hospital last night,I am not sure if she will be back. Do you think she knows when she will die? I almost feel like going outside and glueing the leaves back on,in case she does come home.No one wants to see her suffer more but I do not want to lose my friend ,her boys cant understand what is going on and my girls keep saying she will get better,its such a sad time.I guess I have no real question but justed to talk,Seeing her go from a healthy happy mom to a spirt liveing in a body that is falling apart is so hard,she found out she had cancer the same day I found out I was haveing twins,funny how the same day can be so different for 2 people.

I know I sound selfish but sometimes life sure seems unfair.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

Answers

Sorry to hear about your friend renee........... ((((((((((((0)))))))). I often question the fairness of life myself. Don't be too hard on yourself for wanting to hang on to your friend. It is so hard to lose a friend. I just lost my best homesteading friend this summer and I still miss her so bad.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

My heart goes out to you, Renee. I've never had to watch anyone I was close to die....I have no idea how well I would handle it. Probably not very.

I DO talk to dying folks most every day though, and their loved ones. I can disassociate somewhat though, cuz I don't know em personally,and our relationship is via phone and/or email. Even THIS relationship tends to get me very angry, cuz I am constantly in contact with the results of how western medicine deals with cancer. I find it indefensible that so much unnecessary suffering goes on, that people are not given alternatives, given choices, and have to spend their last days in misery from chemo and radiation that didnt do any damn good anyway.

I would like to go on, but there's no point. I just tend to irritate people with my ramblings.

May God comfort you in this very sad time, Renee.

Blessings,

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001


I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I watched both of my grandparents die from colon cancer, but seeing someone slip away after a long and full life is much easier to bear than seeing someone struck down in their prime. You'll both be in my thoughts.

Hugs and blessings

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001


Me too sorry, Renee. Hate to have friends leave but as we get older, it seems like more and more of them do. And the more people we know, the more often this happens.

Of course, it isn't fair. A little over a hundred years ago, I was told that there's no such thing as fairness, only reality and fantasy. I like fantasy, reality can suck. Come to think of it, so do some of my fantasies.

Earthmama, we could get started on the treatment, couldn't we? I once asked a doctor friend why they kept recommending a treatment that had such a high failure rate and he said that the only reason he could think of is because, once in a while, it worked for someone. He said that he didn't believe he'd take the treatment himself.

Keep strong Renee

Wildman

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001


Sorry to hear of it also. Just be there for them and remember she will have peace at the end, she will take your friendship with her and her friendship will be with you always to cherish.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001


That's just sooo sad renee. Sometimes life really sucks and seems so unfair.

I could rant right along with Earthmama about the mainstream medical community and how absolutely corrupt and self serving I believe them to be but that solves nothing.

Peace, light and prayer to you and your friend.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001


I'm sorry too, Renee. I never know what to say. I hope she has a peaceful passing, and those who grieve for her will someday be healed.

I'm not a big fan of allopathic medicine, myself, but I spent 14 years working for doctors, and there are plenty of them out there that care deeply about their patients and are doing their best to make them well. Of course, there are arrogant, ignorant jerks too . . . .

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001


Like Joy...I never seem to know what to say to folks at a time like this. But I am truly sorry about your friend. Hope you know that you can come here and "talk" anytime! Sometimes I wonder if maybe the doctors don't really "have a clue" and they perform some of these treatments because it's the expected course of action. But I guess they're doing all they can, and I'm sure that your prayers (and ours!) will help your friend through this!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Oh renee, you don't sound selfish at all. You just want your friend to be well and her family to have her there forever. I know how that can be. My brother in law died June 2000 of pancreatic cancer after a brief but valiant fight. He and my sister had been married just 5 months shy of 30 yrs. They were sweethearts from the age of about 14 so he was a fixture in our family even before I was born. I miss him so much it hurts and my sister has pain noone can imagine. He was amazing. One of the last things he said to my other sister was to take care of his wife. She would need us. I guess my advice is to love your friends family as much as you have room for because they will need all that they can get. Wildman, you are right. Reality does suck. Although it can make you appreciate whats really important in life. Renee, you just talk all you want, sweetie. We're here.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

So sorry to hear about your friend, Renee. Know that we are all keeping you & your friend's family in our thoughts and we're all here for you.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001


Thanks everyone,she is home and holding on,she needed massive blood transfusions due to liver failure due to the meds. that were going to "save" her yah right.

I cant agree more with everyone on who thinks the doctors just follow the standard way. I truly believe if she offered more and different options things may be different now. It all started w/ a small lump and instead of offereing her a breast removal they said just take the lump out you will be fine,it spread like wild fire soon after that,then the chemo,radiation operations the whole thing,but never has she been given other options. 3 yrs. of chemo on and off has killed her liver,what did the doc. think it would do.?

She was still getting chemo as of 2 weeks ago,I cant figure why they were doing this to her.The cancer is everywhere and growing quickly in her brain{thats why she is going blind},ITS NOT WORKING SO WHY NOT STOP?

Well last fri. they finailly told her "sorry it did not work go home and make your plans you may have 2 weeks" Can you even imagin telling someone that?and the worst part her youngest son was in the office with her! he is 4.

I would never say this to her the past is the past But I think the choice to get all theese meds.has made her last weeks worst then if they would have stopped months ago,she is so swollon from the steroids{sp},cant eat,cant walk,can barley talk and see.I just hope that what ever is beyond this place will give her the peace she so deserves.

I do hope somehow she is able to make it till after her son turns 6 {dec.23 }and X-mas,but I do have my douts.

Thanks again you guys.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001


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