Little Geordie was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that chocolate isn't good for you? It will give you acne, rot your teeth and make you fat."

Little Geordie replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat six chocolate bars at a time?"

Little Geordie answered, "No, he minded his own f*@king business you nosey ol' @u*t."

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Answers

Absolutely pathetic attempt at early morning humour?

;7)

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Cest bon

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

An old one, but I still like this one:

Two men playing golf, they get hung up behind a couple of women dickering around in the middle of the fairway. One man wanders down to ask if they can play through but comes back, face as white as a ghost. " Sorry mate, couldn't do it, one of those women is my wife and the other my girlfriend". The other guy wanders down to ask, comes back and says "Small world, isn't it"

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Pete, I'm (definitely) coming to Canada; London, Ontario (first week of January '02) for about a month, we've already booked about 10 days in Cuba (which is not in Canada!) and a few days at Niagara Falls; she wants to visit Calgary (she has a relative there but she knows u r there too!), how's your diary, you fancy meeting ~ Toronto et environs, or must I bust a gut to come to Calgary?

Oh, and I'm gannin' to Oz & NZ for Xmas and New Year forst like.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Any room in your suitcase, like?!

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Bud - you'll be passing through Sydney ? Until when ??

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Omigawd, not Perth?

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

hey Bud.... if you want the scoop on London Ontario... email me.... spent a few years there......

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

gus, did you vote for little Johnny Howard AND is he about to change the Immigration Laws? I heard, in order to buy votes, he was giving Oz citizenship to Asian students, within a week of application? :-(

Itinerary not yet finalised chaps...looks like I'm not welcome in W.A.? :-(

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Bud, still not sure what's happening in January. Brass Monkey weather here and me and the Mrs are still looking for a trip to mexico. Sorry, won't come to Toronto, it reminds me of Sunderland with tall buildings and a silly tower thingy. By the way, note the new e-mail address.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001