The captain of the cheerleading team has been making my best friend's life miserable this year. We have a week left in school. What can I do to get back at the cow without having to change schools (again)?

-- Robin, Girl Wonder (beyondrobin@hotmail.com), December 04, 2001

Answers

A little tobasco sauce in the french fries never hurt anyone...except if you mix it with bleach and lead paint. ;) Take it from me. "Revenge" is my middle name.

-- Davey Rootbeer (yankeefans2@juno.com), December 04, 2001.

I wish I lived near you; I could physically help you out with that little problem. Since I can't, um, let me think. Start making remarks loud enough for her to hear that she's getting fat. See if you can get your friends to start doing the same. It may take a little while, but her self-image should definately be a little more damaged. Those girls put a lot of effort into how they look, and if a few people start talking (within earshot) of how a cheerleader's looks are a little less than perfect, that girl's definately going to take it to heart. I'll try and think of a few other ideas later.

-- Tamara (Twilborn@earthlink.net), December 05, 2001.

Thank you! These are great! Anymore ideas? I'll need as much ammunition as I can get for next year. And no, Jag, I don't mean that literally!

-- Robin (beyondrobin@hotmail.com), December 05, 2001.

PERFECT ONE. Blow up her car. Or a car that shes in. That'll REALLY show her!

KK takes no responsability for the proceedings after the formentioned action.

-- Krunch Kobra (??????@??????.???), December 05, 2001.

Well... You could always just sleep with her boyfriend and tell everyone about it. But you might get a reputation.

-- Tator (you@cant.resist), December 05, 2001.

Just remember, though. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Wait 'till The "big football game" next year (all cheerleaders are thrust into the spotlight at "The big football game") Then, using the following combination (stink bombs, m-80s, bb guns, land mines, dog droppings, or whatever have you), plan your attack.

-- Davey Rootbeer (yankeefans2@juno.com), December 05, 2001.

When she isn't looking, rub a spot of ketchup on her ass, right where a tampon would leak through.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), December 06, 2001.

Ah! Thats not even fair, killing her would be nicer. Thats ruining her life, not revenge.

-- Krunch Kobra (??????@??????.???), December 06, 2001.

Okay, let's limit these to things that won't get me arrested, or possibly pregnant or infected with a STD, okay? Besides, I have a perfectly good boyfriend that I'd like to keep.

-- Robin (beyondrobin@hotmai.com), December 06, 2001.

Well, Robin, you could always go with the classic and soak her locker.

-- Ephiney (ephiney@yahoo.com), December 06, 2001.

...Or Krazy Glue the locker.....

-- Davey Rootbeer (yankeefans2@juno.com), December 06, 2001.

Or, better yet.

When she isnt looking, watch her enter her locker combo. Then, later, fill her locker with bowling balls and unscrew the door mostly all the way (so it is hanging on by a thread). When she yanks open the locker, all will come tumbling down, splattering your troubles away.

-- Krunch Kobra (??????@??????.???), December 07, 2001.

OK! All kidding aside, I just say you stay in school and get a good education, dont use drugs, go to college, and make lots of money in a proffesional carrer. Then at your 15 year reunion you will be a success while that "football star" she married is a fat lazy drunk and can barely pay their trailer rent. That is the best revenge. Oh, and work out and eat healthy. The years might not go so easy on her! ;-)

-- Tator (you@cant.resist), December 07, 2001.

I dont know if this is too late but heres a good one. Piss in a ballon, a small ballon would be good, and if your a chick get your brouther or b/f to fill it. Ok now you know the lip of the ballon, dont tie it, now hold, tqape, or twist the lip of the ballon around so none leeks out. Now find his/her locker open it put the ballon inside it, but as you close the locker make sure that the lip of the ballon is sticking out of the door as you close the locker, this way the locker door is keeping the piss from leeking out of the ballon. Now when he/she opens her locker you could be pritty sure there going to get a lap full of piss on them. NOTE: I am fully aware that most lockers have locks(and it would be pritty stupid to call them lockers if they dident) And getting lock off lockers if not as hard as you think it is, inmost schools when school ends for the day, they usaly stay open for like 2-4 hours after class is over, with most teachers gone and all the students not there... You could allmost do anything you like. To get the lock off grab a pair of long shrub/branch sheers ( the manual-ones) and use that on the metal loop of the lock to cut it. beleave it or not she will know her locker has been broken into...but that will not stop her from looking in. hehe

-- Bob Knob (Bob@Knob.com), December 07, 2001.

I can pick the lock, no problem. Hmmmmm. School's out now, but I'll save some of these ideas for next year. I have three more years to make her life a living hell. :)

-- Robin (beyondrobin@hotmail.com), December 08, 2001.

Squeeze epoxy into her lock. Oasis glue on her door would make her hand stick to it permanently, but I don't suggest using that one unless you've really got a bone to pick. Put a brownie on her chair right before she sits down. Rig her backpack when she's not looking so that a bunch of tampons and dirty/grandma underwear fall out when she picks it up.

-- Tamara (Twilborn@earthlink.net), December 10, 2001.

Yes, Bob. I am a girl. (eye rolling) I like those ideas, Tamara. Have to wait and see if I have her in any classes next year. Can I just say NOW how much it *sucks* to be two years younger than everyone else in my grade?

-- Robin (beyondrobin@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001.

You must be pretty damn smart, Robin. What grade are you in? I'll think of a few more ideas for for you later.

-- Tamara (Twilborn@earthlink.net), December 13, 2001.

Hey I'm trying to get some pranks myself when i saw this place, so here are a couple ideas for you: 1. In winter put water in the keyholes of their car, so they cant open the doors. Use a syringe to get the water in. 2. Freeze up windshield wipers with water in winter time. 3. Dog shit on a windshield of a car. 4. Put balongia on the victims car, when remove they'll have poke -a - dot painted car. - My Favorite one 5. Use antifreeze in summer to spell out rude words on their lawn 6. Put a small amount of water on stairs, so it cant be seen and they will slip. 7. Nail under the tire of a Car. 8. Egg the house (or tomato their house). 9. Piss on their Car.

-- Sean (saberdogg@hotmail.com), January 01, 2002.

Thanks, those all sound great. (evil little grin) All thought I seem to have the wrong equipment to piss on the bitch's car.

-- Robin, Girl Wonder (beyondrobin@hotmail.com), January 01, 2002.

Piss in a bucket and pour it all over it?

-- Tator (you@cant.resist), January 02, 2002.

Be really nice to her then offer to make her a cup of tea or coffee,then when you do,put washing up powder in her drink instead of sugar.Then she'll be really sorry she was even horrible! I've tried it,it's fun!!

-- Stephanie Batey (venus2beyond@aol.com), February 21, 2002.

most of the ideas that are posted up their are pretty risky, but what can do is take your time off to find out where she lives and remember to look for her car, if she has a convertable thats good, buy a glass stink bomb and pour it all over her convertable, and get some nails and put itright next to the tire make it stand like this.....

-- ryan nonyabussiness (sk8ter471@aol.com), March 09, 2002.

most of the ideas that are posted up their are pretty risky, but what can do is take your time off to find out where she lives and remember to look for her car, if she has a convertable thats good, buy a glass stink bomb and pour it all over her convertable, and get some nails and put itright next to the tire make it stand like this..... / / ----

-- ryan nonyabussiness (sk8ter471@aol.com), March 09, 2002.

One dozen sugar cubes in her gas tank will do the trick...don't have any cubes? That's ok, fill up a bunch of straws or something like that with sugar...just tape the ends...dump the sugar in the gas tank. You will be most pleased with the outcome. ;)

-- Seedie (Vendetta@hotmail.com), April 04, 2002.

Umm..she's 14...I dun think she drives yet....

-- Davey Rootbeer (yankeefans2@juno.com), April 04, 2002.

suck his dick and spit it in the whores face damnit!

-- Mike Hawk (dfs@aol.com), May 02, 2002.

Okay, uh, no. We're not going there. Reason number one, I'm not a slut. Reason number two, I like the boyfriend I have and I don't want to lose him. Reason number three, I don't even want to know the places that dumb jock's dick has been. EWWWW!

-- Robin, Girl Wonder (beyondrobin@hotmail.com), May 05, 2002.

ya should have put immac in her shampoo bottle when she was in the shower

-- pussy galore (spankme@therearend.com), June 20, 2002.

Mix one cup of ammonia with 50 match heads in a jar. Screw the lid on tight, and wait one week. Instant stink bomb. Place on top shelf of locker attach string to jar. Unscrew the lid, but leave on. Tape the other end to the door. Close the door. When she opens the door she will smell like rotten eggs! Or, mix rust powder with aluminum filings. Put on the hood of her family car, stick a magnesium ribbon in the pile and light with a pocket torch. Run. It will burn through the hood,the engine,and the pavement!

Have Fun Robin

-- jim (chongli7@aol.com), August 12, 2002.

i like that idea with the thermite (rust, aluminum) you should do that or you can just simply get to be good friends with her and tell her youll do her laundry and get all of her white things (hopefully her uniform is white) and stick in a pair of red socks or a red shirt you dont like and do the laundry all of her sutff will be pink :)

-- Ben S (b_swiech@hotmail.com), April 11, 2003.

Put dry gum on the root of her hair. Or spill red ink on her chair. you can try the classic whoopie cushoin or put honey in her shampoo/lipgloss/lotion good in the summer when bees come out.

-- cynthia (vietangel324@hotmail.com), April 12, 2003.

Hey Ben! First off you could have a cat-fight and get a reputation off kickin a cheerleaders ass. Or you could throw ink at her hair. Shed look really bad cheerleading :) Or just simply silicon seal her locker shut.

-- Dan Vogt (arabic_toaster@hotmail.com), June 05, 2003.

Hey everybody! All you gotta do is become a lesbian with her and when she's cheerleading throw one of your dildo's at her hopefully at her head and make her fall down and be humiliated in front of everyone! THE MASTER LIVES ON!

-- Chad Edmonstone (dfe_maller@hotmail.com), June 15, 2003.

I really like socks, so you could throw socks at her! Yee Haw! and then when she's blinded by flying socks, go eat her out in front of the school. Yum. Then as she's in disbelief, gopick up the socks and wash them. Then hand them back to her nicely and become freinds and go to a big gay bash andwhen she's not looking, put thermite in her hair! Hehehe. Have fun!

-- Chad E (dfe_maller@hotmail.com), June 21, 2003.

Buddy, your the biggest fag. If I ever see you on the street, I'm gonna rip you apart.I'm gonna send you a virus you piece of gay shit. Everybody who thinks dfe_maller@hotmail.com is a fag, sa something!

-- Dave K (sureshot_sniper@hotmail.com), June 21, 2003.

Kick her ass!!! It's summer and you can't get into to much shit. (unless she charges you, in that case.....say she hit you first and you were just defending yourself. She won't fuck with you or your friend again if you lay down the beats.....worked for me..goodluck!

-- Suzi (chaseylain@hotmail.com), June 21, 2003.

Throw a bag of flying squirrels with rabies in her locker Craig your gay!

-- Craig S (joecool599@hotmail.com), June 26, 2003.

Get to be buddies W/her and find out her locker code and get out ove class early and if she's a cheerleader that might mean she's got a hair brush if she does put e-poxy all over the brush and when she goes to do a touch-up she'll get a perfect do!

-- Molly (cutecrush_09@hotmail.com), July 03, 2003.

I'm sorry about the post made to this forum by my e-mail, they were not me, my friend dan vogt thought i was funny to use my e-mail and piss poeple off i'm sorry if what was said by him has offended anyone you have my condolences. I don't not post in forums and this is only to clear my name if you see my e-mail on a post i can assure you it is not me. if you would like his e-mail it is pyro488@hotmail.com give him a piece of your mind :). CAUSE HES A FAG!

-- Chad (dfe_maller@hotmail.com), July 08, 2003.

Okay well this is all very childish. Grow up. Most of this stuff can get you arrested. I'm sorry to say, that this isn't even your fight. It's your best friend's. If the cheerleader's teasing/harrassing has been that brutal, I suggest you notify an authority figure and let him/her deal with it.

-- C (-----@----.com), July 31, 2003.

ok heres what u do 1)put sugar in the gas tank 2)brake the lock(using gloves)buy one of those locks that cant be cut put it on and krazy glue the key hole 3)buy valerian root (be sure to get the capsules with powder) and put a half broken one (use gloves or u will smell like ass for a long long time) under her when she is about to sit down. 4)well i have many more ideas for revenge but if u want some more email me 5)very good one take an egg poke a hole in the top and bottom with a needle and empty out the yoke.the fillit with itching powder and plug up the holes then PEG THE FUCKING HELL OUTTA HER! 6)or make a slim jim(used for brakeing in to cars) and open her can and put itching powder on the steering wheel and seats. a slim jim looks like this, just take a metal ruler and make a cut like this k? ___ | | | | | | | | \ | /__ |

-- Chris the wonder full anarchist ^_^ (TheDisturbedone666@hotmail.com), January 25, 2004.

I think you should ruin this bitch for all the girls that ever got tormented by fucking cunts like that. Send me a candid picture of her and I'll mess with it on photoshop to make some porn. Then I can make a flyer for you or a web page. We can make up a good story to go along with the picture. - Have your boyfriend jizz in a carton of milk ten times (that should be a fun weekend) and then fill it with fresh milk and seal it with crazy glue. At lunch, switch milks with her. You could do the same with orange juice using urine. I guess you culd also put a dead mouse or a turd in there. - Put some roughies in her drink to make her sleep when she is alone in the library or something. Then walk over and cut off all her hair. Write "cheating slut" on her face with a marker so people think it was her boyfriend that cut off her hair. - When she goes to the bathroom, use a super soaker to squirt urine up at her or toss a urine filled balloon over into the stall. Put white shoe polish or ink in her shampoo or hand lotion. Get a little digital camera and have someone take pictures of her in the locker room naked and then e-mail them to people from the library using a hotmail account - I can make it look like she's humping a dog using Photoshop. - Mail her a wrapped gift box with a typed note from a secret admirer or her friend or boyfriend that doesn't have a cell phone who has to work or something so she won't call them. Inside the gift box put chocolate chip cookies. Only, the chocolate is poop! Hey, have it delivered to class with flowers! Then all her friends can eat shit too! The next day send her an envelope with the recipe and pictures of the poop and baking products and stuff. Make sure you don't get fingerprints or any DNA samples in the envelope or anything.

-- Kristin (krissymyA07@aol.com), September 14, 2004.

Hire some stranger with HIV to rape her after the football game, but just make sure it's rape, no murder. You want her to live with what happened to her, perhaps even a pregnancy. Yep, when she starts showing a few months later, as her white cell count is going down, you and your friends can just sit back and laugh. Great prank if I say so myself.

-- Shapperty (dontdeny@this.com), September 15, 2004.