Subject: This is so funny

Do we like cruitfake? Fruit Cake Recipe Christmas Fruitcake recipe Happy Holidays! With the holidays coming, I thought you could use this fruitcake recipe... 1 cup water 1 cup sugar 4 large eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice nuts 1 gallon whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

Answers

Actually. . . From the old TB2K:

CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE DELUXE--please read instructions carefully :)

1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup mixed dried fruit
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
2 tbs lemon juice
1 cup chopped mixed nuts
1 bottle good whisky

Taste whisky to ensure it is good quality. Take a large bowl. Pour one cup of whisky and sample well; best quality must be assured. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add one spoontea of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If fruit gets stuck in beater blades, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.

Now, sift lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown sugar or whatever colour you can find. Wix mell. Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 gredees.

Don't forget to mix off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whisky again, and bo to ged.

-- anon (anon@spamproblems.com), January 13, 1999.

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

that's it, that's the one!!!

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

A friend from England mailed it to me the previous year. I see it everywhere now. Damn good recipe too.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001