Holiday Memo

To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

-- Anonymous, December 11, 2001

Answers

Not so clean Humor

Mary had a little skirt
Split right up the sides,
And every time she wore that skirt
The boys could see her thighs.
She also had another skirt
Split right up the front
But she never wore that one

-- Anonymous, December 11, 2001

How do you catch a bear? Dig a hole 5 ft. by 6 ft. Put two feet of ash in it. Place peas all around the top of the hole. Sit by a tree and wait. When the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ashhole!

-- Anonymous, December 11, 2001