My husband of 18 years is divorcing me. We were married in a Methodist church. I converted to the Catholic Church 10 years ago.( THE best decision of my life) This is my first marriage and my husband's 2nd. He annuled his 1st one. We renewed our vows on our 10th anniversary. Do I need an annulment or is something wrong from the beginning with our Methodist ceremony?

-- emily durbin (blessedtoo@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001

Answers

I was just looking back through other questions and answers and found my answer that the Catholic Church finds every marriage ceremony valid regardless of religion.

-- emily durbin (blessedtoo@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001.

Jmj

Hello, Emily.
I am sorry to read about this sad event in your life, but it is heartening to read of your awareness that your Catholic faith will sustain you.
Yes it is true that the Church assumes that your marriage is valid until proved otherwise. However, if you believe that you will remain unmarried for the rest of your life, there is no need for you to seek a Declaration of Nullity. It's up to you when (if ever) to approach your pastor about this.
God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 12, 2001.

Emily,

I am definitely not an expert on this. In fact, most of my information on annulments (or decrees of nullity) comes from this forum. But if I remember correctly, it was said before if someone is Catholic and marries in another church without the Bishop's permission, then this is not a valid marriage in the eyes of the Church.

So my question to you, was your husband Catholic when you got married? If so, did you have the Church's permission and/or blessing?

John and others, could you please comment on my understanding.

-- Glenn (glenn@excite.com), December 13, 2001.

You have made a very good point, Glenn. Thank you.
I made an assumption (possibly unwarranted) that Emily's husband was not Catholic at the time of their Methodist wedding.

But if he was a Catholic, and if he received a Declaration of Nullity for his first attempted marriage, and if he then received his bishop's permission to marry Emily in her Methodist church, that would be licit (and presumed valid).

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 13, 2001.

Thank you Glen and John for answering. More details.... my husband was Catholic at the time we married. He didn't get permission from the Bishop to marry outside of the Church. In 1983 we married in the Methodist Church. In 1991 I converted to Catholic Church (the best decision of my life). Also in 1991, my husband had his first marriage annuled, just prior to my becoming Catholic. In 1993, because my husband wanted to, we "renewed our vows" in the Catholic Church. Each year that goes by I learn more of my faith. I have often looked back at how we handled this and wondered if something was wrong.

Thank you for your help! Emily

-- emily durbin (blessedtoo@hotmail.com), December 13, 2001.

Thank you Glen and John for answering. More details.... my husband was Catholic at the time we married. He didn't get permission from the Bishop to marry outside of the Church. In 1983 we married in the Methodist Church. In 1991 I converted to Catholic Church (THE best decision of my life). Also in 1991, my husband had his first marriage annuled, just prior to my becoming Catholic. In 1993, because my husband wanted to, we "renewed our vows" in the Catholic Church. Do I need an annulment or is this invalid from the start because of his being Catholic and not having permission from the Bishop. I'm confused.

Thank you for your help! Emily

-- emily durbin (blessedtoo@hotmail.com), December 14, 2001

With your newly supplied answers, I will definitely have to ask John to follow up. The renewed vows worries me. I am not sure if this is a recognizing of the Catholic Church of your marriage.

-- glenn (glenn@excite.com), December 15, 2001.

It sounds right to me, Glenn.

I will see if I can reconstruct events in chronological order, and Emily can correct this, if necessary.

1. Mr. Durbin, a Catholic, entered into an invalid union in a Catholic ceremony some years before 1983.
2. Mr. Durbin divorced his first "wife" and decided to marry Emily in a Methodist ceremony in 1983 -- without previously obtaining a Declaration of Nullity, and (naturally) without his Catholic bishop's permission.
3. In 1991, Mr. Durbin received a Declaration of Nullity with respect to his first attempt at marriage.
4. Also in 1991, Emily converted to Catholicism.
5. [I am making an assumption here, but ...] Also in 1991, the Durbins had their marriage "convalidated" (blessed as a Sacrament) by the Catholic Church.

6. In 1993, the Durbins ceremonially renewed their vows on their tenth anniversary.
7. In 2001, Mr. Durbin filed for divorce.

We are not capable of judging whether or not Emily and her husband are validly married, though that would be the assumption with which a marriage tribunal would start. As I mentioned earlier, though, if Emily intends never to marry again, she need not ever seek a Declaration of Nullity.

Some people in Emily's position, though, even if they do not intend to marry again, seek a Declaration as a part of the healing process -- to gain a sense of finality. Before taking this step, though, they have to consider how they would be affected psychologically by a potential tribunal judgment that affirms the validity of the marriage.

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 15, 2001.