Only the Brits...

Alcholic Kitty

A cat that drinks like a fish?

December 12 2001 at 09:51PM London - On examining the cat, the experienced British veterinarian's first question was: "He doesn't drink, does he?" the Sun newspaper reported on Wednesday.

An investigation by Joey's owner, Katie Parfitt, 22, revealed her pet had been sneaking off to The Teal Arms, just metres from her home in Ingleby Barwick in north-east England.

The regulars allowed the year-old cat to sip from their drinks.

The veterinarian found a swollen liver and prescribed antibiotics and abstinence.

And pub landlord Lynne Thomas, 48, is doing her bit - Joey has been barred.

"The only thing he'll be drinking is milk," said Parfitt. - Sapa-DPA

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Answers

Dad managed a pub when I was little. The landlord usually lives on the premises--public house, you see. And we had a cat and a budgie, who were great friends and had the run of the pub. Unfortunately, it was the budgie who had the drinking problem and would perch on someone's glass to drink. It made the local newspaper too. That bird lived to be nine, which I understand is pretty old for a budgie. Dad's still going, of course.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Wasn't this part of Omar the Lion's problem? Maybe it runs in felines.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

OH, what images!

Here's a funny/sad story with a good ending. The frat next door to me (when I lived in Ypsi) had a house kitten, and the guys used to blow pot smoke at it. The kitty would sneeze and then walk in a strange manner. I figured two or three times won't hurt it, but they kept it up. I offered the owner $15 bucks and the promise not to contact various authorities. So, when I left several weeks later, Katy-Cat came, too, and grew up to be a good mouser, in spite of her troubled beginnings.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Joey, before rehab...

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

And his drinking buddy Rover...

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Elephants in the wild have been known to get drunk on fermented fruit, I believe.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

And bhirds get tipsy on overripe pyracantha berries, so look out!

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Next I suppose you'll be saying that monkeys shit coffee.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 2001

Carl,

You come up with the darndest bestest pictures I have ever seen. I just don't know what this board would be like without you.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 2001