SQUIRRELS - When they go bad

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Article published December 21, 2001 Squirrels gone bad: Why some act nuts Instinct makes them gather for winter

The sneaky rodent slinks past some potential prizes in the 700 block of Crawford Avenue in West Toledo. (THE BLADE/ALLAN DETRICH)

BY REBEKAH SCOTT BLADE STAFF WRITER

Inside Mike Moore’s house on Crawford Avenue, old friends slouch over their Wednesday afternoon poker game. The snap of shuffling cards and jingle of coins are the only sounds.

Outside the window, two beady eyes watch the game from a nearby treetop. When certain the men are safely distracted, the thief climbs nimbly down from the high perch and heads straight for the porch furniture.

The Crawford Avenue Squirrel has sticky fingers.

It has stolen the stuffing from most of the seat cushions on Mr. Moore’s patio. It raids the neighborhood bird feeders.

The animal recently was caught red-handed on the front porch, untying the merry red holiday bow on the door.

"He lives in a big tree out by the railroad tracks. He’s got a heck of a giant nest up there," Mr. Moore said. "It’s gotta be like a squirrel house by now, with all the stuff he’s stolen."

What makes a nice rodent go wrong?

Instinct, the experts say.

Gray squirrels spend autumn months storing food and lining their nests, getting ready for the lean, cold months of winter, which starts officially today.

Their brains are small. Their appetites are huge. They have no sense of right and wrong. They have all the equipment to chew, dig, pry, or poke their way into attics, eaves, and walls.

"They love to destroy bird feeders. They’ll knock them down and chew them apart," said Ken Baker, proprietor at Live Capture Animal Removal in East Toledo. "It’s that time of year. They’re gathering up house insulation by the ton. Fiberglas doesn’t bother them. They have tough hides and thick fur. If there’s a hole they can get into, they’re right there. If they see something they like, it’s gone."

What drives the desires of particular squirrels is anybody’s guess. Take the Oakmont Rodent, for instance. Its nest in a tree on Sheringham Road in the Perrysburg Township subdivision is an Ali Baba’s cave of stolen goods: His booty includes at least one scarf stolen from a front-yard snowman in broad daylight last winter. The suspect - or one of its kin - was witnessed stripping a miniature plastic rain coat several months ago from a helpless concrete goose on the front porch of a Heatherford Drive home. The squirrel did not take the matching hat.

Back in Toledo, on the corner of Crawford and Burnham Avenue, Art Marshall apparently contends with the same larcenous squirrel that trashed the Moore patio furnishings.

Mr. Marshall is a patriot, an American Legionnaire who likes to fly the Stars and Stripes in the yard. He thought maybe some children were stealing his little flags. He just couldn’t figure out why they took the cloth and left the stick behind.

"And one day I look out the window, and there’s the squirrel, sitting up on top of the fence. He had a flag in his mouth," Mr. Marshall said. "It was kind of draped down around him. I wished I had a camera. He took it with him, right up his tree, and that’s probably where he is now, up there someplace with my flag. I’ve got a patriotic squirrel."

The story spread through the neighborhood, and Mr. Moore said he’s "watching that tree out back, to see if that squirrel will raise Old Glory one of these days."

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001


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