A while back I was nattering on about some things I had done or was gonna do or something like that anyway; and Joy posted a response asking me if I actually did the things I said I was going to do or if I just talked a good game. That got me to thinking. Then another lady at work asked me how I managed to find time to can and sew and garden, etc.. And that got me thinking some more. I do almost all the stuff I talk about; some things take longer than I plan - like the floor in the tea house/grape arbor; and somedays when I run out of time and it comes down to baking cookies or doing dishes, well - the dishes wait another day! I'm certainly no bundle of energy; I love to sit on my butt and read for hours at a time, and I take a nap almost every day. So I started looking at where I find the time to do the stuff I do; and the answer kind of surprized me - it's not so much "what I do" as it is "what I DON'T do"!!

I don't have to mow my yard; Pop and Hubs do that. They also run the big tractors to plow and disk; and Pop often goes out and tills when I'm sleeping; he also helps me weed the berries. I don't groom my cats or dogs and since they're all outside, I don't clean litter pans or have to go for walks. I don't go to basket parties, tupperware parties, chef parties or anything like that. I don't talk on the phone except to Sharon, maybe once a month. I don't "shop" - ie: I don't wander around looking at stuff; I go buy what I need and go home. (Okay - except at used book stores!) The last movie I went to was the newest Star Wars, before that it was Lion King - what, 2 movies in 6 years or so? I don't watch TV or videos, and I don't listen to the radio. I think I've been to the theater (play) once in the past two years. I don't belong to any clubs except Home Extension and I rarely go to meetings, it's more of just contributing my dues. I don't go out to bars, and Hubs and I go out for dinner maybe once a month. I have lunch with a friend once every two weeks or so, usually coinciding with a planned trip to pick something up or go to the UBS. I don't have any hobbies that require going to a different location, like trap shooting or skiing or anything. Jessie is pretty well raised up, so I don't have to "watch" her, tho I still spend some time at ball games and the like - at least for the next few months.

It seems that I spend most of my time that I'm off work right here on the farm, doing the things that I like to do. Gardening, reading, sewing, putting by, and sitting on my butt in front of this forum!

So how about you folks - are you guys social butterflies; or are you grumpy old hermits like me?! What activities do you do, or don't you do, that are common for non-homesteading type folks?

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Answers

By most folks standards I suspect I live a very dull life. Once in a while we go out to eat. We have very few friends that we socialize with and almost never do anything where there's sidewalks unless by necessity.

Other than my job I rarely leave the house and land because there's plenty to keep me occupied. We're still in the building mode around here. This year I built a new loft for the doves(8 x 24') plus all the normal stuff that goes on with gardens etc. Nxt yr I'm gonna ad on another 6' to the width of the greenhouse so it'll be 17 1/2' wide and 52' long. The projects never end it seems.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Compared to me Shrek is an amateur. My reclusivness was also a contributing factor in my current state of singleness ( the ex NEEDED large quantities of the false socializing where you rip em apart later at home. Since I prefer honesty and silence, my social calender has many openings and I tend to get a lot done at home :>)

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Who's Shrek?

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

ditto.......whose shrek?? I have to go out occasionally to get banking, groceries (what little we do buy) and go to the feed mill. I hate it. We do go to church on Sunday and that is our big "social" outing. I am truly a contented, grumpy old hermit who prefers the company of my critters, books, crafts etc, and of course these forum friends.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Ditto for me, Diane. That's my itinerary...banking, groceries and grain!! About as sociable as I want to be is an occasional dinner out with just me and hubby...no crowds please! Seems that the more I stay home, the more I wanna to stay home. Sometimes I wonder if that's healthy :-)!

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

The recent animated movie starring the voices of Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers. Can definately tell ya'll spend a lot of your time on the 'stead :>) Shrek is the main character, a reclusive ogre trying to get his swamp back. Its a better love story than Ghost.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Ditto Diane, ditto Marcia--I would much rather be at home, putzing around. Well, I do love the library though. Also, I save a lot of time cleaning house, because I don't have a lot of stuff, because I'm allergic to dust, so I keep it real simple. Gives me time for what I really do like to do.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

"Shrek is the main character, a reclusive ogre trying to get his swamp back" Oh my goodness, a movie about me??? ;>) Like getting my swamp back from the mean old drain commissioner??? LOL

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Hmmm - they occasionally call me Pollyzilla at work when I get, umm...shall we say...Annoyed! Need any help reclaiming your swamp there, Diane?! Think I could learn anything from this Shrek fella? Is he available on video? I could make the kids go get him next weekend and ruin my record...

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

I can't remember which of the guys said it earlier about Shrek, but I'd like one of those flush outhouses too. Depending on whether you went the route I did and got a dish tv may determine whether you can get it cheaper -- Direct Tv is running it this month on pay-per-view, so you can get it for $4. It is out on cassette and no doubt DVD as well now too, but that will cost you more.

I don't know, I suppose I'm a hermit. I don't see many people, I make sure that I go out to the barn where my horses live when no one else is around so I don't have to deal with them, so I must be in the running for hermit-dom. But I've got my Direct Tv, a pile of videos that would probably cause most folks on the board's jaws to sag, and I make a point of listening to public radio whenever I'm in the car.

I do talk on the phone to a pal of mine in Ohio who is very lonely. Joy and I sometimes gab on the phone, but that has lessened since I got a computer.

I belong to the Science Fiction Book Club -- does that count? I haven't been to the local horse club in quite some time...I will happily bake things for the local Women's Club or Historical Museum's bake sales and other functions, but I don't want to be a member. I'll even flip pancakes for the CoC's pancake breakfast, since that puts me in the kitchen.

I do clean out the guinea pig cages, and the rabbit's litter pan (hey, compostables! Rose food!!) and my horse's stalls (more compost!). I'm a slave to my animals. I don't have a dog at the moment, but altho my breed -- West Highland White Terrier -- requires some grooming to come up to the 'show look', mine never looked like that. They were always too full of dead leaves, dirt, sticks, and having just finished digging a hole disarray. We went for walks -- they loved the mental stimulation and I needed the excercise.

I don't read as much as I'd like to, it's hard to read and do three other things at the same time. I plan grandiose undertakings (I really am thinking about Stonehenge in the back yard!) and lesser ones such as relandscaping the yard so that I won't have to mow so much (leave enough area to cut provender for the critters!).

When I 'shop', it's usually at Fleet Farm, Ace Hardware, or Menard's (super building store), where I can at least justify it as 'research'. I hate shopping for shoes, I want them to last forever so I don't have to do it again. It's hard to pry me out of bookstores tho -- just ask Joy.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2002

Julie, I'm with you about shoes.....I recently found a kind a like (Merrill) and bought 3 pair (for those of you that know these shoes, I did not pay the regular price, a discount store had them). That should keep me for a while.

I think I must be more social than some of you. We had over 35 people here for New Year's Eve. It isn't unusual for us to host a game night with 10-15 adults/kids. Or have a couple over to join us for dinner and a soak in the hottub. I make it a point to learn something new on a regular basis and try to take a class where there will be other folks to meet. I work from a home office so I look for ways to interact with others besides clients.

I really do get a lot done here at the house in any given week. Partly because I work at home and between clients, etc. I can make soap or bake or garden or plant. Lots of folks say things like, "Must be nice" and that grates on me. We all choose what and how to spend our time. If they don't like their 45 minute commute, then only they can change it, you know?

I don't go to the mall stores besides the book store but twice a year for sale items. I don't go shopping regularly, as that creates the need for more cash, which would mean more work for others and less time to complete my own projects. I think everyone who is frugal is truly saving their time too, so they can 'spend' their energy in other creative ways.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2002

I sometimes hope the car wont start so I do not have to take the girls out to their activities.I wish I would not have given the ok for so many classes! I walk in to the waitting room and dred every minute. The ballet is the worst me and the twins and 5 other moms all who fit the yuppie label to a T. Try makeing small talk with someone who thinks a dog is to much work. My husband and I are going through the rough times too and alot of it boils down to social stuff,I hate it he loves it.Sometimes I wonder how we even met,I pretty sure if the kids were not around he would have ran screaming years ago.Life sure is funny and the saying oppisits attract is not always right.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

We have good friends here on our road and near it that we have alot in common with on one level or another. I moved to the country for space but I'm not quite a hermit. When I don't show my face in awhile I get calls making sure I'm ok (LOL). I like the camaraderie of being able to drop in for cofee on a Saturday morning (and being dropped in on too)that I share with our friends. I take a Tai Chi class (it get me out and helps the Prozac)and hubby and I are signed up for Sunday night Triple Jive Lessons. It should be a hoot. Soon the boys Saturday morning swimming classes start up again and the weekends will be a blur of running to town. Now here is a question...why is it that my kids will often leave me be but NOT when I am trying to accomplish something??! Got lots done this weekend though! The neighbor kid was here and kept the boys out of harms way when hubby and I were working in the barn. The chickens are now confined!! Woohoo! One pen is mostly built for the sheep and the good hay was delivered on Saturday. I mean, man, I spent about 5 hours in my barn cleaning rabbit hutches, movin' stuff, helping build stuff and it was one of the best day of my life!!!! I don't know too many people that can identify with that. LOL

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Shrek was great! Too good for just the kids - watch it yourself... and it was, by the way, a love story about Nick and I.

There is nothing scarier in the forest than a WASP princess who has had time on her hands.

Polly forgot to mention she never sleeps, unless you count a few hours. Her pop told me she'd been up since 3 AM, when I went to visit.Yes, she is one of those people who can get by on minimal rest (as opposed to me, who sleeps 10 hrs then still needs a little nappie)

Polly is also an extreme organizer. Who else could pull off a pleasant neighborhood weenie roast in a torrential downpour with limbs falling in the road? She did. And,a lovely time was had by all, too.

Well, guess I revealed some of her secret powers.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Well let's see.......I've become much more social since moving to the burbs.....more like I used to be I guess.......most of it revolves around supporting Lotus' music career actually, but I have made some connections with old friends now that I'm closer to them. I hang around in smokey bars alot.....cuz that's where they play the Blues.......which is kinda weird, and totally not like I have been livin the past few years.....but I'm finding that whether or not I enjoy it or hate it pretty much depends on my attitude. Doing my spiritual work has been easier by being around more people, cuz I get forced to face my fears and my judgements of people/situations whether I like it or not, and thereby learn more about myself, and how to correct the things I find wanting. We have always gone out to eat a lot, but that last couple of years that had all changed cuz my partner developed a gluten intolerance, and is now on a yearlong healing diet that includes basically NO starches whatsoever. (That's another story) So it aint much fun anymore,cuz there's not much she can eat, so we usually eat at home. I talk to people on the internet in the evening a few times a week, my mom every two weeks or so........mostly about the weather.......and have about five good friends I speak to once a month. I talk alot with my kids friends; for some strange reason they gravitate to me......it the weirdest damn thing, cuz I never in a million years would have believed I would be spendin lots of time with teenagers if you would have told me 30 years ago. I couldnt stand em when I WAS one! But life is fascinating, isnt it? Just this afternoon, I had a pizza with a good friend of my daughter's, who called me, said he had to talk to someone cuz he cant talk to his folks; turns out he's got his girlfriend pregnant, and wanted my advice! So, I met with him and after I slapped him upside the head a few times, I listened and learned. Wow, heavy stuff..... Anyway, I'm findin that although it was comfy and cozy to be kinda hermit-like, I am learning much more about myself by being around other mortals. At least at this time in my life. Now about shopping. I've hated it for quite some time. I buy as much as possible online. But since movin back to the city, I've discovered lots of really cool weird shops. Little independent places that are loads of fun to cruise, and often staffed by friendly freaks like myself, only usually younger. I rarely buy anything, but its such fun looking anyway. And coffeehouses and clubs,just like in my youth, with activists and peaceniks and people who CARE about stuff. Has stoked my fires; I guess this is just what the Dr ordered, for me, right now. So I guess there's value in everything; hermitting and socializing, different strokes for different folks and for different times in our lives. Life is good, even when its painful.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

"Life is good, even when its painful." - EM

Ain't it, tho! Maybe I'm just in chrysalis mode right now. Hmmm - what a thought - it'll keep me busy musing! Hell, my luck I'm a tomato hornworm...

I do too sleep! I just don't do it like normal people. Which probably explains a lot. Hee-hee!

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Polly, don't you think night nurses learn how to sleep on their feet?? All my friends accused me of not sleeping for years and I just told them I was a more efficent sleeper. ;>)

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Sleep and eat and talk and walk and (eeek!) sometimes, I'm afraid - drive. You get in "the zone" sometimes where you just automatically or mechanically "do" whatever needs to be done. Usually, I'm okay as long as there is work to do; but heaven help me on a boring night! Ive been known to recharge for the commute home in the parking lot - tipping the seat back a bit and taking a short nap. Really annoys those administration folks (whose day starts late) who want my parking spot. Of course, I'm sure they all enjoy my "I'm meltingggg" thing I do when I come out the door into the sunshine. Well, I enjoy it, anyway!! Night folks are about a half a bubble off plumb, or so I've observed in my 20+ years of night work. Lots of things are really funny at 2 am....

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Oh, I resemble that remark!!!

Er, I mean, I resent that remark! I am NOT a half-bubble off plumb, I am a FULL bubble off plumb.

(*humph!!*)

Have you learned how to sleep yet by standing next to the kitchen counter (or other flat surface of similar height) and laying the upper half of your body onto it? Yet another helpful hint for those with odd sleeping habits. I've got to admit that when Polly mentioned not sleeping like other people I was wondering how you get your toes to grip the top of the doorjamb -- I can't get mine to.

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002

I was always told that you had to be a half bubble off to be willing to work nights at all.......;>)

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002

Prehensile toes help, Julie. Drop your marbles on the floor and practice picking them back up and putting them in a bottle with your toes. You'll be "hanging" out with the rest of us batty folk in no time! You ever read Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? "We're in bat country now."

At 4'10"; most counters hit me right below boob level. I've tried to fold spindle and mutilate myself into a comfortable position; but it just doesn't work. One of my favorites (don't try this in a dress - and don't ask me how I know not to try this in a dress either!) is to grab one of those armless rolling desk chairs and sit down on it by straddling it backwards. Lean your upper body and side of face against the chair back and let your arms hang limp. Extra points if you drool on the chair and gross out your co-workers... I also like the "coffin pose" - find a flat surface at least as long as from your head to your knees. Lay flat on your back with your hands folded on your chest. Good for frightening small childen!

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002

I think I must be one of those social creatures or something. I have been gone too much to read many of these threads! Guess I'll have to hard copy this one and a couple others, take 'em to work, and figure out what's going on.

I go through periods in my life where I'm more inclined to hermitize and less inclined to party. However, I have been operating on social mode for the last couple of years. Probably since y2k, come to think of it. I made some changes about a couple of years prior: quit corporate America, focused more on the farm and my creatures, and re- prioritized. I got pretty caught up in preparing myself, physically and emotionally for the BIG EVENT. After that, I realized how isolated and lonely things could have become. Plus going back to school really shifted my perspective on being around folks...I had to!

I hope this post is in some way related to the intention of this thread! I haven't but skimmed it. (But I so didn't want to be left out!!! LOL) Gotta run.........

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002

Hey Polly, Hunter S. Thompson is a popular author around here.

Reading your marble info...have you ever played Butt Darts?

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002

I am soooo afraid to ask....

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002