By an amazing co-incidence (only possible in bad jokes), Bobby Robson, Steve McClaren and Peter Reid are all killed together in a tragic accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St Peter says, “ We only have one rule in heaven…. don’t step on the ducks”.

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and, although they try their best to avoid them, Bobby accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St Peter chains them together and says, “ Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”

The next day, Steve McClaren accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as Bobby received.

Peter Reid has observed all this, and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, just as you would expect. Then, one day St Peter comes up to him with the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Tall, tanned, blonde and a body to kill for. St Peter chains them together without saying a word.

Peter remarks “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?” The woman replied “ I don’t know about you, but I stood on a duck”.

-- Anonymous, February 04, 2002