I am such a jerk

greenspun.com : LUSENET : A Country Singletree : One Thread

Friends, I have asked Jay to remove my introductory “bio” from this forum. I did a very stupid and self-centered thing by posting my introduction here. I have been deceitful for not revealing my entire story. You see, my story cannot be told without the telling of the most wonderful person who is in my life now, and God-willing, will be forever. This woman is part of my life, she is my life, I have no story without her. She is “Mi Amor, Mi Corazon, Mi Milagro.”

I feel ashamed for posting at a “singles forum” and possibly giving some of you the impression that all I have in my life is a “girlfriend.” The word “girlfriend” sounds so temporary, so casual, so uncommitted. In reality, I have a very committed lifetime love for someone whom I could not live without.

I told my love this weekend that I had posted my bio at a “singles forum,” and as a result, had received e-mails from several single women. I felt dirty, ashamed and deceitful. Nevertheless, I had to be honest with her. Needless to say, she was crushed and very hurt when she heard my “confession.” I don’t blame her, I would have been too if the situation was reversed. My careless, selfish act has driven a wedge in our relationship that we are now working on removing. I pray that the resultant wound will heal and that our relationship will become stronger. I also know that I must do some soul-searching to determine why I felt a need to post here in the first place. She gives me 110% of herself, she overwhelms me with her love. I am truly blessed to have her in my life….so go figure.

What have I learned from my mistake? I have learned that I am no longer an entity, a single, a selfish, solitary human being. Even though we have not married, “I” no longer exists. “I” has melded into “us.” We have become one. I have learned that every action I take, every decision I make, and every choice I make should be taken from the perspective of “us” and not “me.” We are double-yoked for eternity.

I would like to apologize to any of you for any troubles or confusion that my posting here has made in your lives. I never intended to hurt anyone, especially the love of my life.

--Happy trails

-- Steve (commited@forever.com), February 12, 2002


Dear Steve,

I did not read your intro and didn't respond to it, but I do want to respond to your comments on being a jerk.

First of all, "jerks" don't write apologies. They certainly don't confess to making mistakes. Real jerks automatically assume any problems they're having are someone else's fault.

I appreciate your honesty and although your sweetheart is upset with you now, hopefully she will forgive you especially if you have learned an important lesson. Sometimes realizing how much pain we've caused and realizing we could lose someone we love is an extremely important (albeit a hard) lesson to learn.

Sounds to me like you've received a terrific opportunity to grow up as well as "fess up". Don't blow it again.

Wishing you enough.

-- Trevilians (aka Dianne in Mass) (Trevilians@mediaone.net), February 12, 2002.

First off your not a JERK!!!!You are a very caring and taleted person!!I on the other hand was a jerk for getting mad at u!!Im sure everone in here is behind you!! You are a stand up guy!!We only hope ur lucky girl will share u with us!!! Grizz!

-- Grizz in Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), February 12, 2002.

Diane where u near in mass?

-- Grizz in Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), February 12, 2002.

Ah Steve, I guess you don't need to apologize to me. I don't recall reading your intro". One question tho... if this the lady is the love of your life and your partner for enternity, why don;t you get married???????

-- Karen Mauk (kansashobbit@yahoo.com), February 12, 2002.

I musta missed sumpin'! I thought this forum for people who were like minded in the homestead department and just happened to be single. I never saw nor did I think we would actually see one of those "DWM ISO SWF who knows how to operate a chain saw" type ads. I thought this was about sharing thoughts on the rigors of homesteading or wannabe homesteaders who had to do most things alone. A spot to learn about cooking for one, tools or methods to make the job get done easier, that sort of thing. I didn't take your bio as an "advertisement" for luring in single gals, but simply as a way to let the group here kinda get to know you better, and "group" means both sexes. Is there an over reaction here somewhere? I think you ought to stick around and continue to contribute whatever you have to share. The love of your life is welcome too.


-- Carole (carle@earthlink.net), February 13, 2002.

Now, I feel like a complete jerk. Or at least a little stupid. I just realized this forum is directed at singles. Duh! I just didn't connect "Country Singletree" with being single. I was just looking for another country forum to read. Sorry if I intruded.

Wishing you enough.

P.S. To answer Grizz in Western Maryland, I live NW of Boston about 25 miles.

-- Trevilians (aka Dianne in Mass) (Trevilians@attbi.com), February 13, 2002.

I thought something happened Diannne .I remembered from cs you where married ! Hehe , oops but then so am I .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), February 13, 2002.

Single Married does it matter? Yes some of us are single and hoping to meet someone to share life with!! And im sure those of you that are married have single frends!! Hopefuly this fourm is were some will meet or at least become great frends! There are some really great people here id hate to lose any one at all!!

-- Grizz in Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), February 13, 2002.

Diane I worked at Boston the last few summers !! Last year in Braintree year before in Natic mayby this year in Draket!! Hot sure yet!!

-- Grizz in Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), February 13, 2002.

I think anyone can come on this forum and tell about their hopes and dreams and write cool sad stories that make me cry. I know it is for singles to get to meet other countryside singles but did not ever think it was a dating service! I guess that is why steve's "confession" struck me as pretty silly. Unless, the guys and the Susans are having more fun offline than I know about!! All right you guys am I missng out on all the "hankie pankie" that is going on??

-- Karen Mauk (kansashobbit@yahoo.com), February 13, 2002.

Thanks, all. Yes, I'm still happily married. But I'm also always interested in checking out new country forums. Good to hear from you again, Patty.

Hey, Grizz, let me know if you make it to Dracut for work this summer. We're only about 20 minutes from there. You can come over for a homecooked country meal.

Wishing you enough.

-- Trevilians (aka Dianne in Mass) (Trevilians@attbi.com), February 13, 2002.

Karen, Hankie,pankie through these little cables, I don't think so!!! I sure am not that desperate. (LOL)

I agree with everyone else here. Anyone can come to this forum. You do not have to be single to post. But keep in mind that this forum was intended for the single homesteader,(Jay or anyone else correct me if I am wrong) for support of ideas, needs, and just general moral support when you are feeling down about being single and having to do it all your self.

I personally have become very attached to this forum and have had fun and really interesting conversations with people off forum. Some of us are hoping to meet up. No dating service here, but if something happens I hope you share so we can all enjoy your happiness.

Susan (the other one)

-- susan in Minnesota (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), February 13, 2002.

No one should feel they can't come to this site. True this was Grizz' brainchild as a place for single homesteaders to share homesteading knowledge and questions to better their homesteads and as a side benifit give other singles a place to "meet and rut" a little without offending folks on the other forums. Please come and share any knowledge and info that can help us along and remember, the singles will be checking the biography posts if they're "looking". After all, a happy marriage in view occasionaly just shows us theres still hope :>) And any of you successful singles remember to share the great news with us as a morale builder.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), February 13, 2002.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ