What does this say about US? (forum)

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Beyond the Sidewalks : One Thread

I was thinking about this stuff yesterday and today.

In reviewing the "offending" thread and the drift to a coupla other threads it seems to me everything that was said was sooo non- confrontational and benign, yet people still seemed to get hurt feelings from it. Is it the weather? Sick of winter? Just having a bad day and inadvertantly taking it out on someone else? I dunno.

We should be able to discuss honest differences frankly without being mean but even when we do someone gets hurt it seems.

I dunno, maybe I'm becoming more of an insensitive oaf or just growing another layer of skin but I really don't understand why anyone should be upset over some mild discussion that includes something less than unanimous, enthusiastic endorsement of all thats been said before. One of the unstated principles here is that everyone has a voice and should be heard. While we endeavor to say what we have to say respectfully we shouldn't feel like we're walking on eggs. Maybe its just me, I dunno.

I've been spending some time at FSR too but before I posted there I donned my cyber armor because I expected to get blasted. Considering what goes on over there we're like the milktoast crowd here.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

Answers

Hi John and all,

I have absolutely no idea what the **** is happening on whatever other threads, etc. I have read maybe 2 posts in the last two days (I'm really busy, and Mr. S. is using the peecee most of the time b/c of school, anyway).

Whatever is going on, I hope folks can remember that every February, folks get testy all over LUSENET...it was February, I think last year, that I quit the CS forum b/c people were getting snarly. It's definitely a seasonal thing. Please keep that in mind!

With Valentine's Day today, I'm reflecting on the appreciation I have for the folks that I love and who love me. It's so precious to have relationships where you can feel comforted, confident, nurtured, and free enough to bring up conversation that wouldn't necessarily be well-received elsewhere. Oh, and hugs, too, of course...

This forum is kind of like that. Please reflect on how good this is, and how much folks have done to make it a good place. Like our "Valentines" in real life, no one is perfect, nor does anyone believe absolutely everything the same way that you do. Relationships take a little work...

As I continue to maintain, we have more in common that we have in "different".

I hope everyone has a better day, for whatever reason!

Love,

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002


It says that we trust each other and it's been a long, albeit, weird winter and we've got spring fever and we love one another and those people over there are meanie-mos and we can get beyond this and if you think we're milqetoast you just let somebody else attack one of us buddy-boy and look, we patched it all up and maybe there are some scabs but we've learned that we can get over it and go on. Hugs!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

Thanks, Polly! Whew.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

What Polly said.........absolutely!!!! I think it is when families DON'T talk about their feelings and bury them, that things become so disfunctional. By sharing feelings, which by the way just because we feel something doesn't necessarily mean anyone in particular is doing anything, we develop trust in each other. That's why I shared what I was feeling cause I knew that if I just buried it and didn't share it, my trust in this place would go down a notch. Maybe it is a gal thing john, don't know. The moment I go longer than a day feeling bad about something, I make myself express it. There is a big difference, IMHO, between telling someone how you are feeling, and smashing them for their feelings or making them responsible for how you feel. hugs

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

John and Diane, you have my greatest respect for being able to handle the "crowd" over at FSR forum, you are way braver than me!!! I gave up awhile ago, it just wasn't worth the time involved trying to explain what I meant over there. But I really like that part about "having a bible in one hand and a gun in the other" Diane, that is just what I would have said had I been brave enough to even go there!!! Yes, I'm a "lurker" over there, and a woose about posting there! Anyway, way to go girl :-)!!!

John, we women are a more "touchy-feely" type creature than men, not that this a "bad" thing at all, but can be a liability at times. We are also more empathetic because of this trait, but as a whole, we will discuss what is troubling to us, vent a bit, discuss some more, clarify a few points, and, hopefully, have learned a bit more about one another, and move on, with no hard feelings, again, hopefully is the key word.

Early spring is a difficult time, for sure, SAD is a very real threat, at least here in my household anyway, but John, like everything else, this to shall pass, don't take it too personal ;-)!!!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002



Like John, I couldn't understand what the hurt feelings or guilt for causing them were about. I thought it was a good conversation and was very respectful etc. I sure was scratching my head and trying to figure out where it went sour but really couldn't find it and put it down to some of us getting a little more shack wacky than others. More sun!! Thats what we need. What I am glad it says about us is that we are a tight group full of diversity but mutual respect (even for Wildman :o)i couldn't resist sweetie) and lots of fondness for each other. Its pretty cool actually. As for FSR, CF, CS and the rest that get their knickers in a knot about nada...#$%^ 'em. Valentines huggly wugglies to vous!!!!! :o)

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

Oh for heaven's sake! "Joel Rosen" is posting at FSR? This is like asking me if I would like to watch a coupla hours of World Wrestling programs. Wanna read some posts about Christianity at FSR?

No brainer. Change channel. Who cares what kind of Christian anyone thinks I am. Or anyone else. Sheesh....

I must be ready to retire from the internet....definitely time to go outside again...

No wonder you folks are grumbling (and it has nothing to do with Joel or anyone in particular).

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002


Yep, Sheepish, ain't it strange???

I really, really must not go there, FSR, I mean, it just succeeds in raising my BP and causing heart palpitations, something I don't need at all! Just not worth the aggravation to try to understand better how people think, which is why I go there at all. You know, walk a mile in another person's shoes kind of thing?

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002


Alison..."shack wacky"? I like it! :)

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

There's been so much talk here about "feelings" lately I can't get that song out of my mind!! Does anyone know the words :-)??

I love the way you put it, Polly. You're so eloquent with words!! And Diane...I wish I had half the nerve that you have to speak up and voice my opinions!! Like Annie, I'm definitely with the "woose" crowd! But BTS is a wonderful place and I sure hope this cabin fever thing passes soon and we all get back to normal (whatever THAT is!!).

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002



I agree with John, sometimes, you just have to step up to the plate and say what you want to say. Even though your candor can be misconstrued as being mean - critical - obnoxious.

I find myself holding myself back from posting an answer, feeling like "I've already said this in an earlier post . . . stop repeating yourself, they already know . . ." kind of routine and frankly, it does feel a little strange. I've been used to just basically speaking my mind, but as time goes by, I've received e-mails flaming my answer. I don't enjoy the feeling, but take it in stride. Just try and don't offend anybody, and don't take offense of a question or comment which is not designed to do this.

Now if I only had the knowledge to distinguish between the two . . .

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002


This forum reminds me of family because we can all agree to disagree!! It's like this around here but we all make up in the end and everything is just peachy. Hope all have a wonderful weekend. I have to go and retill the garden and start planting potatoes!!

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2002

Now that I'm done being snarly, I have to admit that I did enjoy reading Diane's and John's posts. And some of the others, for that matter. But I'm not going anywhere near mixing it up with Joel, Li'l Bit or any of the others. I fought in those wars at CS and have retired! That's why I like THIS forum!

Carry on...!

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2002


sheepish.................we have a saying in AA "some of us are sicker than others" ;>)

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2002

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