SHORT CUTS - Friday

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Friday, February 15, 2002


America's First Lady with a Non-Cheese Doodle

News Lighter Than Air: Short Cuts tries to bring you the BIG news, things momentous that go bump in the night and might inform and illuminate your day. But, sometimes all the Gods of News have to offer is fluff, trivia and/or a muffled giggle. That's what we find this morning after scanning the world. Here are the highlights and low light of the current lull in the news.

Little Girl From Little Rock: Gennifer Flowers, the first girl to er....ah.....blow the whistle on Bill Clinton's extra marital Arkansas life style is in a San Francisco court to try to get even with Hillary, Carville, Georgie Stuffinenvelopes and the entire Clinton Hit Squad. It probably won't work but give a girl three sequins for a nice try.

Let's Not Hear It For The Girls: We try very hard not to think about Rosie O'Donnell's sexuality but she keeps bringing it up. Apparently, she has deputized the venerable Barbara Walters to discuss the Loud One's lesbianism in depth all in an effort to promote O'Donnell's upcoming autobiography. Prediction for Rosie: Remainder tables and the rest of her life in second rate comedy clubs. It's not her bed. It's her head. Underneath the screaming and juvenile humor this is one angry chick.

Mayhem in Aisle Twelve: We can all relate to this case of road rage in the express lane. If this woman gets into serious trouble we say let's hire her as our personal marketing consultant and take her to the supermarket with us. She's probably an expert on snapping the fingers of a sloooow check writing hand as well.

Bovine Bingo Bull? Cows are funny. Chickens are funny. PETA and their ridiculous political theater is funny and this story out of Florida is not only funny it is an eyebrow raiser. We sense a clever campaign to mock the ludicrous animal rights group. Last month it was the false story of hunters collecting orange deer vests, now cow bingo. Our favorite line: "No laxatives were used on the cow."

What Do Women Want? How about a guy who loves Cheese Doodles, "Cats" and doesn't know (or care) who Stone Phillips is. Richard Roeper in the Chicago Sun Times has a most amusing column pegged to what clearly is going to be the most "precious" political biography of the spring from the New York Times' political reporter Frank Bruni. The mock menu alone is worth the click.

Someone Is Pulling Our Leg: The Times of India reports that we are dusting the Afghan landscape with envelopes stuffed with 100 dollar bills and pictures of George Bush. If any intrepid Ldotter spots this story elsewhere please post. In the meantime we will just sit here in disbelief and eat our Cheese Doodles.

-Your Healthily Skeptical LComStaff

Links of interest:

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-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

Answers

Response to SHORT CITS - Friday

Yeah, I know, but I don't have time to go into the innards to fix things. Besides, it'll satisfy BF's nitpickiness, lol!

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

I fixed it, luv.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

LOLOLOLOL! I knew you couldn't stand to let it go by! :):):) Thanks!

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

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