Hey folks, some of you might have seen this before but I just received it in the mail today. Thought, since, for some reason, Martha has become my idol, that'd I'd show you she isn't infallable.

Wildman, (still smiling)

Martha Stewart vs Me

Martha's way #1: Stuff miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Martha's way #2:

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".

My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad you think it tastes.

Martha's way #5: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now BLIND!

Martha's way #6: (also known as the Karen rule) Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

My way: Leftover wine? When the hell does THAT happen?

Martha's way #7: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My way: Go ask the neighbor with the cute butt to do it.

Martha's way #8: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse.

My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my s

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2002

Answers

ROFLMAO!!!!!

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2002

I wanna know how Wildman has a CLUE about "Martha's Way"! ;-)

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2002

Yes, I can picture it now, Wildman propped up comfy on his couch, feet up, reading Martha Stuart Living magazine............

Just teasing, Wildman, you sure crack us up ;-)!!!!

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2002