Just in time for sunday

Sunderland

Sunderland, tucked away in the northeast of England, is a hidden gem. After its discovery by missionaries in the nineteenth century it became a vibrant area for crime, NHS blunders, and unemployment. The town is the ideal launch-pad for a tour of fascinating heavy industrial sites, desolate brownfield locations and unsuccessful emergency regional funding projects. The centre has a lively nightlife and boasts numerous working-men's clubs, fine chip shops and a smallish dog-track. Sunderland's famous sons are few and far between, and one might be tempted to dismiss it as one of the more insignificant towns in England. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Its inhabitants, affectionately known as Mackem c****, have a long and honourable tradition of making salt, possess a famously polluted river, and the population is renowned for its cheeky car thieves and disabled housebreakers.

Full name: The town of Sunderland

Area: 5.6 sq km

Population: No. of benefit claimants divided by two

People: 93.4% Simian, 4% Gypsy, 2.6% Human

Language: Slurred

Religion: 60.1% Heathen, 32.5% Scientologist, 7.4% Mithras

Local Government: Old Labour

GDP: US$753.4

GDP per head: US$74

Annual growth: -5%

Inflation: 10%

Major industries: Scrounging, wheel-theft, graffiti, eating (esp.processed foods and lard pie).

Major trading partners: Peterlee, Stanley

Twinned with: Mogadishu, Apeworld (Wroclaw, Poland)

-- Anonymous, February 21, 2002

Answers

More here.

-- Anonymous, February 21, 2002