Anyone heard any songs that fans have tried to start about players but they haven't taken off?

We have quite a few songs but hardly any for individual players apart from "Shearer, Shearer" and "he's here, he's there, he's everyfucking where"

Anyone heard any others I haven't?

It's just that I think Bellamy, Given, Solano and Dabs certainly deserve a song.

Most other clubs have songs for a few of their players. Arsenal "Viera wooowwwwwwooooooow Viera wooowwwwwwooooooow"

Scumberland have got Superkev, Quinns disco pants, Ohhh tommy tommy.

"Emiile Heskey, (clap,clap clap, clap, clap)

I just feel Shearer gets ALL the praise ALL the time even when some others, especially Given deserve songs.

Tried to invent one but I can't. Any help?

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

Answers

The lack of songs is pathetic I think. While Man U distribute song sheets which is going a bit far, at least they can serenade most of their players if the mood takes them.

The shola Hokey Cokey was quite good I thought but I get sick of 'there's only one..........' However even after thinking of a song, getting it to take off is another thing.

I heard some singing Lua Lua to the tune of Louis Louis once. It was pretty good but never caught on.

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

Song sheets are going a bit far but I think if a site like Nufc displayed a new song every week, a few of them might just catch on at the ground.

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

Well, there's:

Craig, Craig Bellamy La-la-la-la-la Craig, Craig Bellamy La-la-lala-la-la Craig, Craig Bellamy La-la-la-la-la (You can stick Kevin hillps up your @rse)

and then,

Liam O'Brien Andy O'Brien Any, Any O'Brien He puts the ball in the Mackems net O'Brien, O'Brien

and

We've got Laurent, Laurent Robert on the wing, on the wing Laurent, Laurent Robert Laurent Robert on the wi-ing (Alternatively Keiron, Kieron Dyer) (Or Little Kvin Dyer)

plus

Nick the Greek Nick the Greek Nick the Greek Nick the Greek Nick the Greek Ad nauseam....... (or whatever the Greek is for that)

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

The Andy O Brien one is good I think. What about the Cushy Butterfield/Kieron Dyer one? Where did it come from? It's quality but unfortunately no one ever sings it.

Does it go like this?

He's a quick lad, he's a little lad and he likes his beer, he's starred in a porno flick so we know he's not queer.

(Something like that)

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

Our very own "Sting in Oz" penned that one. Mind,neebody's ever heard it sung anywhere other than in thge Straabeery after a skinful.

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

Surely, the Laurent Robert chant is the old Phillipe Albert/Rupert the Bear song, not the Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry Hibbit one?

Reminds me of one of the most nostalgic moments I recall at SJP about 8-9 yrs ago when Terry Hibbit came into the Milburn Stand to watch a game, and within minutes a rousing chorus of the old "We've got Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry Hibbit on the wing, on the wing..... song was ringing around the ground. He wasn't far from me, and looked genuinely gob-smacked that he was even remembered.

Wonderful moment that proves we never, ever forget the good 'uns - made even more memeorable when he tragically died from cancer a couple of years later.

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

Clarky - I've heard both versions of the Laurent Robert one tho the "Phillipe Albert" one is more common. And as for "Little Kevin Dyer on the wing" I guess a bit of poetic (actually geographic) licence is allowed.

But of course, this does highlight the lack of individual/original songs. Surely you can do something about it while you're wasting your time walking along the Northumbrian coastline??

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

...you waste your time by the method of your choice, and I'll do likewise with mine bonny lad! ;o{]

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

Laurent Robert is our friend
is our friend
Laurent Robert is our friend
he killed [enter team name where Lolo has had a blinding game]



-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

Some suggestions:

Laurent Laurent Robert Everyone knows you're gay

Quay Quay Quay-siders

Heyyyyyyyyy hey Craigy (ooo ah) I wanna know did you kick that lass

Light blue touch paper, stand back and admire the display...;o)

ML³

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

The Robert one is wasted: he doesn't speak French very well, has hardly any English and, as for, Wearsidish...

As for Quaysiders, is this a reference to your players' appetite for living in Sunderland?

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

sorry I can't work out the tune for "Light blue touch paper, stand back and admire the display", is it to do with Newcastle playing so well in blue strips ??

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

That Shearer DJ Otzi one is shit, isn't it? What is it, "I wanna kno- ow, if you'll score my goal?" Always think that sounds like we're taking the piss.

I'm still very keen to get "Lua Lua, so good they names him twice, I love him!" away, but a) I can't do it on my own and b) he's shite.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

"He is here , he is there , he is every f.....g where, MACNAMEEE, MACNAMEE" One of the great songs particularly after he had clobbered Allan Clarke of Leeds at Elland Road. To be fair MACNAMEE had warned Clarke to leave David Craig alone . The warning was ignored.MACNAMEE came out last at SJP on a bitterly cold day as last man. He rolled the sleeves up on his long sleeved shirt. For that he became a legend. Always gave 100% and as tough as....

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

The DJ Otzi one is plain embarrassing as it's of Scouse origin as a football tune among other things.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

The Otzi song went off well at Whitehart lane. I think sometimes there's too much emphasis on being original, which can have a negative impact on the singing. Any singing is better than none.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

The best version of the Otzi song is the one for Lee Bowyer!

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

Sorry, Pete: can't agree there. It's all sad, cringe-worthy variations on "One nil to the Arsenal" and "One Shay Given". I almost think no singing would be better than either of those or the DJ Otzi humiliation (which IMHO is the WORST song in living memory). "Shall we sing a song for you" and "Who the f...k are Man Utd?" are just as bad, though.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

PS. Going back to Jim's point about Shearer getting all the praise. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at Peterborough when Hughes scored and the terraces erupted with a chorus of "Same old Shearer". I mean, in fairness...

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

If you're analysing the "Heyey Shearer....ooh...aaah......" song - I think it's bloody brilliant. My favourite actually! ;0{)

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

Fair enough Dougal. It's always good to hear a new, amusing song and no question that a lot of the tired old songs get trollied out too often. But I would still prefer to be part of a wall of sound sinding a crap Otzi song rather than one politely clapping even when were 3:1 up. And yes I have sung it myself ;-) along with 'Only one Shay Given'. It would have been rude not to, after his performance. Of course 'Ketsbaia, my Lord' was a much better song though. :-))

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

To tell the truth, Pete, it's the whole cannon of "Who the F...k are Man Utd" that gets on my nerves. In the absence of other praise for Shay, I sing the "One Shay Given" song but I can't bring myself to sing the DJ Otzi one, particularly as it gets sung so indiscriminately, like when Shearer picks his nose or something.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

'Heeeyyy, Alan Shearer, OOH AHH. We wanna know whoa whoa whoa, when you pick your nose' ;-)
I must admit though, it'd be good to have some better songs for some of the others..Hughes is definitely deserving of something after this season's performance.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002