Upgrading the relationship

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Last year, I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, and noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 1.03, Drunken Boys Night 2.5, and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on the program Wife 1.0. Can you help me, please?

TECHNICAL SUPPORT'S REPLY TO CLIENT: This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under: "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command: C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid excessive use of the Esc key, because ultimately, you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but requires very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

-- Susan in MN (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), March 03, 2002


This is GOOD. You really got me thinking on this one.

Quite often the Wife program will have attribute conflicts caused by residual components of lower revision applications that were not completely removed before compiling the Wife installation which result in hiccups and glitches and fatal errors before forcing the system into safe recovery by switching to DOS (Divorced Operating System). These can be more prevelent in Wife 1.01 and higher revisions. DOS is generally utilized while searching for a downloadable version of Wife 2.0 , which has residual attribute cleanup and is classified as an intelligent package that samples the environment to modify subroutines within itself and the handshake protocols of the Husband versions 1.1 through 2.0 versions.The Wife 2.0 is so designed to also manually initiate voluntary subroutine upgrades and system cleanup in the Husband 1.x and higher versions and disabling the DOS operating system. After many successful program cycles of handshake protocol communication, the upgraded versions of Wife and Husband will re-compile into Successful Marriage 1.0 which contains many hidden attributes that while ensuring smooth performance, are seldom revealed or applicable to other programs.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), March 03, 2002.

time to buy a new computer at that point

-- Stan (sopal@net-port.com), March 03, 2002.

I am just beginning installation of the DOS program. Any suggestions? - Sheryl

-- Sheryl in NJ (all295@aol.com), March 03, 2002.


I'm working on a "12 step program" for myself.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), March 03, 2002.

Jay or anyone else with some input, I'm at step one. Need sponsorship. HELP!!!-Sheryl

-- Sheryl in NJ (all295@aol.com), March 03, 2002.

Sheryl, intall lawyer 1.0.

-- Sherry (tlnifty@ecenet.com), March 04, 2002.


Step one is "take a deep breath and think of something you could never do just for yourself". Don't go overboard, but do something you enjoy. I bought myself a microscope and upgraded my computer for my "comfort zone".

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), March 04, 2002.

I completed the DOS program about 10 years ago and immediately installed "Alone Again and Loving It 9.0". The program has been running smoothly every since...........

-- Jodie in TX (stanchnmotion@yahoo.com), March 10, 2002.

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