Most Patient Spouse????????

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B. Lackie said something funny about a very patient husband when his wife sharpened his Maul? Wanted to know about other "patient spouses" in this vein. My award for "most patient spouse" foes to my cousin when, after she was layed up with surgery her oh-so-helpful_and-proud hubby "cleaned " her very old and cherished cast iron cookwear by putting in the oven, just like she said, and oiling it, just like she said, but using WD-40!!! She staggered out of bed with this horrible smell wafting through the house to find a smoking oven and a very proud "better half"! LOL By the way, He is still alive! LOL LQ

-- Little Quacker (carouselxing@juno.com), March 04, 2002

Answers

I have the kind of Designated Other who can walk into the room and things fall apart around him. My son had just spent TWO DAYS hooking up our wireless computer network, DO walked into the room, touched the router, and it failed. Then, he picked up the crimping tool that I was using to put new connections on the ends of some phone wires, and it fell apart in his hand.

He has NO idea how to STOP tightening a bolt before twisting it off, etc. If you don't want something broken, DON'T give it to him.

He was shredding around the pump house and caught the water line he had put in himself with the edge of the shredder. GEYSER time.

Sigh. It's like living with a cross between the china shop bull and Mr. Magoo.

-- Rose (open_rose@hotmail.com), March 04, 2002.


I was 7 months pregnant and was taking laundry off the middle off the line.One end of the line was attached to the house the other to a 4x4 pole in the ground.The pole snapped and came down hitting me in the head.It knocked me out and split my head open.Needless to say I was laid up for awhile .Hubby tought he was being so good by helping out cooking,cleaning, and doing laundry .Well he helped so much he shrunk every piece of maternity clothing I had ! It was not the time to shrink anything .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 04, 2002.

My first date with my city boy DH got off to a bad start, he asked me out and I said, OK- but I have to unload a couple wagon loads of hay before I can go. He said, that was fine, he'd even help. So, we proceeded to unload the wagons my father, being cute, put him in the mow to "fetch and carry", I was on the wagon putting bales on the elevator. We unloaded the wagons in short order (they were kicker wagons, not stacked) and went to my house so I could shower and get dressed. I wasn't gone more than 15-20 minutes, came out to get my date and he was asleep in a lawn chair. We didn't go out that night. He was a game lad tho and continued to help on the dairy farm. When we were married we lived in a small city for 13 months, I hated it. We then moved to the 'burbs where it was slightly more tolerable for me, but I longed for the country. When we saw the place where we live now, a log cabin on 113 acres, he knew it was all over for his city boy upbringing. He still has some adjustment problems-he complains incessently about mud and bugs, but he's getting the hang of it. The other evening the sun was setting over the hayfield and he called to me to watch it with him, as we quietly drank in the beauty I said, How do you like your life now, City Boy? He said he liked it fine. I think he's getting the hang of the good life.

Stacy in NY

-- Stacy (KincoraFarm@aol.com), March 04, 2002.


I think I have everyone beat when it comes to patient spouses. Two months ago, as he was drifting off to sleep, I quietly said "honey, this weekend Lisa and I are going to the auction to save a draft horse." He paused for just a second before saying...okay. Last week, it was 9pm and the blizzard was just starting, when we got the call about the starved colt. I asked, "Honey...can you hook up the horse trailer for me?" He obliged, and then went with me to help drag the pathetic little beast home. He works a regular full day off the farm, and then comes home to let out the dogs...20 of 'em...and cleans their kennels & does their food and water. In the mornings, like as not, he'll find a big parrot guarding the cereal boxes on the shelf...a big parrot who loves me and ONLY me, and who would happily take his finger off if he persisted in reaching for the cereal. He takes a spatula to knock the box off the shelf so he can eat breakfast. If he wants to shower, he'll probably have to get the 5 foot-long iguana out of the tub first. And if it's May, he'll be listening to orphaned kittens howling for their bottle while he gets ready for work. He's been known to grab the nurser and feed them while he eats breakfast.

He puts up with free-roaming house rabbits, an aggressive pigeon, another parrot who is fixated on the rubber handle-grips of his treasured mountain bike & who shreds them at every opportunity, and a Queen Beagle who thinks she & he share the same place in the pack order of the household. He digs holes for dead things, and drags them to their graves by himself if I am too upset to do it. He allows goats and chickens and wailing puppies in the house if that's where they need to be. Once, after listening to a 5 week old puppy howl for hours, he said I should just bring her in the bed with us. I did, and 5 minutes later she peed all over us & the bed, and he was still cool about it. He stops for each and every stray (even if I'm not in the car!) and doesn't complain. He rounds up loose cows & fixes fences. He calmly points out the accidents made by the ancient poodle, and doesn't make me feel bad about it. He understands if I call it a "scrounge night" for dinner, three times in one week. And he let's the beak-less Quaker parrot eat off his plate, because he knows she has to be allowed to eat whatever she wants. In the "rescue community", we joke about forming a group for our husbands, called Rescue Spouses Anonymous. A place where the guys can get together and lament all the stuff they have to put up with from their animal-crazy wives. I see that this post has turned out to be something of a tribute to my husband. That's okay...he deserves it.

-- Shannon at Grateful Acres Animal Sanctuary (gratacres@aol.com), March 04, 2002.


Ok Shannon you won !! I know how you can make lots of money , wanna know ? Husband training !!!!!!!! Hehehe . Give that man a big hug and kiss !

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 04, 2002.


Shannon, you have what my mother called "a good man" (very high praise from my mother) your tribute to him is certainly justified.

I often bring up new animals just as my DH is drifting off to sleep, it seems to soften the blow. Last January just as he was dropping off I quietly said, I found a pregnant goat that needs a home, the one she's in isn't good for her or her soon to be kid. Money was real tight at that time because of truck repairs and I had no right to drag another animal home. He just said, when do we go get her? I think he realized I had already made the deal. I said tomorrow, and I traded 75 bales of hay for her so we have to load the stock trailer. It snowed that whole day, but the guy said that if I didn't get there that day she was going "down the road"- he actually mentioned eating her but I think that was a bluff. The roads were awful, he had to back the truck and trailer down an icy driveway and help unload the hay--but Fiona, and her daughter Kiera, are safe and happy in our barn.

Another time, he had saved forever for nice porch furniture, he'd even picked out the set he wanted, in the mean time, I had a Vet out to float the horses teeth. Three horses floated, three Coggin's tests, and three rabies vaccines came to $419.00- I almost died when they gave me the bill (that Vet's never been here again, and never will) there went his porch furniture savings. He never once complained. So, I have "a good man" too- my only wish is that mother had lived long enough to get to know him.

Stacy in NY

-- Stacy (KincoraFarm@aol.com), March 04, 2002.


I have a girlfriend who's husband makes me laugh!! They have a couple of hundred acres and her husband can do all the fence fixin, hay bailing stuff. But he can't fix a car or truck to save his sole! She said after they got married and he tryed to fix her car once, he just looked up and said you can have a man handy or a handy man, and I am not a handy man LOL. Lucky we lived by them when they first got married and my husband can fix anything with wheels. Those to men are like 3 year olds when they get together. They went out to feed on a very cold snowy winter day and I heard them pull into the drive way when they got done. They stayed out there a couple of minutes then my husband came in real slow and had his hand wraped up, and it was bloody. I said are you ok and he said My hand is cut, I said how bad. He said I don't know. I took him to the sink and started running water over it when I noticed Will was not in the house. I ask him where is Will. He said on the pourch he said you were going to be mad at him. LOL I went and told Will to come in out of the cold. And gave them hot tea while I put a couple of butterfly stiches in my husbands hand. Then I heard the story of how Will cut Vern's hand. They were opening a big round bail of hay, my husband grabed for the twine just as will swing his knife to cut the twine and cut Vern instead. I tell you somtimes Men just don't grow up. I told him he was lucky it was so cold out it probably kept him from bleeding to death. LOL it wasn't a very bit cut.

-- Teresa (c3ranch@socket.net), March 04, 2002.

Aren't Hubbies the bestest things!

So far I think Shannon is still in the lead. Needing a spatula for the cereal and any kind acritter eating off his plate would be too much my 'good guy'.

When the deal crashed on our house (so that we could not go to Alaska) and I was neer sick to myself worrying and wondering what the next step was, pack in and stay or start all over, he came home and heard me out, then quietly he put his arm around me, kissed me and said "it doesn;t matter where we are, as long as we are together!' then "so this weekend we'll go get your cow" That settled it and I got the little sweety that I had my eye on,. (the co's nice too...hehehe...)

-- Novina in ND (homespun@stellarnet.com), March 04, 2002.


Hello Little Quacker,

My wife is probably the most patient woman alive to deal with me while I handle my mid life crisis and winter depression all at the same time raising a two year old and being pregnant with another child. And in the years we have been together, we have yet to had an argument. If there were Nobel Prizes for Patience.....I would nominate her!

Sincerely,

Ernest

-- http://communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks (espresso42@hotmail.com), March 04, 2002.


I can sympathize with Earnest; my wife is due in about 3 weeks, broke her ankle a couple of weeks ago, and has to contend with me doing all the cooking and cleaning and watching my three year old son (she HATES the way I do things). Between dealing with the pain, frustration of watching me do thing my way, and her pregnancy, it is a wonder she hasn't just put a pillow over my head during the night and suffocated me! :^)

-- j.r. guerra in s. tx. (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), March 04, 2002.


My husband has to be in the running for top honors, along with Stacy's. My dh works long hours 6 days a week, in addition to running this place which is not supposed to be an animal rescue but seems like it. I used to be able to work hard, but due to injuries I now often have trouble getting around in the house much less getting things done outside so am not much real help anymore.

Dh starts his day at 5 a.m., feeds, waters and cares for 60 horses, a small flock of sheep, several hogs, and waters my goats (I feed and milk the goats). Then he puts in a full day at work, comes home and does all the chores all over again. The rest of the evening is spent remodeling our home. On Sundays he spends most of the day fixing fences, building or repairing shelters and hauling feed. We do almost all our own veterinary work. He will pitch in with the heavy housework when needed. He's supported my 3 children from a previous marriage (last one will be on her own next month), and will lend a hand to help them with moving, car repairs, advise on investments or whatever. When they were still living at home and one daughter called one night and in tears said she'd wrecked the car, he asked only if she was ok. He spends time with our little granddaughter, showing her how to care for the animals, taking her for rides on the tractor or rides on a horse, and just spends quality time with her. He's the type of guy who after many years of marriage, still offers his arm and still opens car doors for me.

He always takes time to call me from work a couple times each day to see how I'm doing, and is always encouraging and supportive. He has supported and helped care for every stray dog, cat, rabbit, chicken, bird or ? which my kids and I drag home or gets dumped off here (5 kittens in a 2 week period this fall, plus a dumped off puppy). We've had as many as 6 dogs and around 20 cats at one time, and he's never asked me to get rid of a single one. The latest pup has been the worst horror ever to work with, beyond words really. Too make matters worse, the weathers been too cold for the pup to be outdoors much, so it is usually inside, chewing furniture, tearing things up, dumping garbage, you name it. (Can you tell I wouldn't win the patience award?) Dh just smiles and says, "He's just a pup, give him time."

He always is willing to help out an employee, lend a hand to a neighbor, or do a favor for someone down and out. He's babysat the neighbor's kids in a pinch, helped out kids at the fair, donated time and $ to local fundraisers. He and I both cared for his mother nearly 24/7 for over 2 years after she had several strokes and then ended up with cancer, rather than put her in a nursing home. He puts up with MY mother, who complains loud and long about our lifestyle. He even tells her he likes her. :)

Last Saturday night we had what was a crisis for me...a horse trainer I know called and said one of the horses we had raised and sold was at the auction getting ready to go in the ring. Right now our finances are really tight, too tight to take on another rescue. We've been hit with one financial setback after another, and a lot of medical bills. I knew I shouldn't......but told her to go ahead and buy the horse back for me. When dh came in, I dreaded telling him what I'd just done, but unloaded the bad news on him amid many apologies. He just looked at me and said, "What else could you have possibly done? We'll get by. I'm glad you saved him."

He's the kind of guy who thinks getting away from it all means sitting down for a half hour in the middle of chores and watching the sun set.

Not once since the day I met him have I heard ONE word of complaint from him. He is always encouraging, upbeat and great fun to be around. He makes the worst days turn out to be something special. On days I feel like weeping and throwing in the towel, he just grins and says, "Come on, just look at it as an adventure!" (Sometimes I'd like to strangle him when he says that!) Considering what our daily lives are like, if he doesn't qualify for a patience award, no one does.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), March 04, 2002.


Oops, I meant Shannon's dh, not Stacy's, in my previous post.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), March 04, 2002.

I'm not going to list specific examples but I think my wife and I swap this honor back and forth between us. There are times that we've each done things that drives the other half-wild but we somehow always manage to get by.

I won't try to reproduce it here, I always get the formatting off when reproducing verse in HTML but here's a little something by Rudyard Kipling for all patient spouses everywhere.

Th e Sons (and daughters) of Martha

.......Alan.

-- Alan (athagan@atlantic.net), March 04, 2002.


When speaking of her husband Scott, Helen Nearing often quoted Antoine de Saint-Exupery: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery wrote "The Little Prince".

-- Charleen in WNY (harperhill@eznet.net), March 04, 2002.


Shannon, you win the *prize* for this one!!! Are you willing to sends swabs of his genetic material for future cloning??? ;-)!!! I anticipate a huge market interest!

-- Annie Miller in SE OH (annie@1st.net), March 04, 2002.


Shannon, that's some hubbie you have there & you don't sound so bad yourself. Congradulations on the work you do saving animals. My DH isn't very handy but he is resourceful! How many people do you know have a rebar fence lining the driveway?(it was free, ugly but free) When asked how I've managed to stay friendly with my ex all of these years, I usually reply "Somebody has to fix the car...even if it's my son using his fathers garage" Which leads me to: what country music legend sang the song "Put another log on the fire, fix me up some bacon and some beans, go out to the car and change the tire, wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans......then put another log on the fire..baby...and come and tell me why you're leavin' me"!

-- Kathy (catfish201@hotmail.com), March 04, 2002.

the imortal Tompall Glaser singing Shel Silverstein's song.

http://www.banned-width.com/shel/works/log.html

ain't the internet great

-- B. Lackie - Zone3 (cwrench@hotmail.com), March 04, 2002.


I've soaked my poor city girl wife in every barn yard goo there is. "Just give me a hand with this would ya?" "Ooops!! Mind that would ya?" is too often heard words for her! She tolerates me laughing myself silly while a 60 pound lamb drags her off her feet, Priceless! I've got her so she'll go fishin for a stuck lamb in places NONE of her friends would think of putting their hands ("Oh and maybe I should hold your rings for you dear" "Cause you wouldn't want to go searching for them in there would you?") I've blinded her with my welding, burned her with my "wretched wood furnace" (smoked her outa the house a few times too) and had her pick up some completely alien machinery parts, for equipment she didn't even know we owned! "When did you buy that thing??" I totally vex her patience at times. She nearly got flung to mars on my home made 30 foot wide tarp "awning" off the barn wall when she tried to squash the wind out from lifting it. (Now that was too funny) She'll settle for a 2 day visit to the Toronto Zoo as a vacation and spend her money on a thousand feet of wood or steel to build barn yards or lamb pens. She spent hours...........no days inputing flock records into a doomed leased flock mangement program only to offer to do it all over again into a new purchesed one. She has lambs in her living room and laundry room, bottle feeds them and cleans after them. Went to her spinning class with lamb poop on her jeans no less. Comes home to a near comatose husband (who's been up since 4am) and actually cooks him dinner without any poison slipped in (despite some dandy life insurance) I gave her a goofy lovable son with ADD and a straight A daughter with AT-I-TUDE! And she still speaks to me. My wife is better than any of your spouses, I struggle to keep up with my best friend most of the time, she's just so much better than my best. Inspirational!!
I gotta say I'm with Charleen though, we both look the same way........damn tired.

-- Ross (amulet@istar.ca), March 04, 2002.

Okay...so we need two awards; Shannon's dh gets it for the guys, and Ross's dw gets it for the girls. You both have real prizes...just don't ever forget to tell them, over and over and over!

My dh is pretty good, but can't top those two, in patience.

Jody

-- Jody (ruready@cin.net), March 05, 2002.


None of that really shows her patience as well as this conversation.
Her" Hi what did you do while I was gone?"
Me "Bought a house"
Her "WHAT!"
Now I like to think that was at least partly a happy "What" because she had seen it and liked it; she knew I wouldn't spend too much on it. She also knew it had been ripped off it's foundation and cut in two with a sawzall too. I like to think she beleived me when I said I could put it back together "As long as they get it close together". perhaps she doubted the company could get all the studs that close. They did a grewat job. I did put it back together too by the way, though I'll admit to some pretty serious motivation.

-- Ross (amulet@istar.ca), March 05, 2002.

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